The Beerchaser's Spouse Enters Laurelthirst

The Laurelthirst is a neat and old neighborhood-type bar with an added attraction – great live music in the evening – and there’s usually either minimal or no cover charge! Entering the bar is like a walk back in time – in fact there is almost a slight scent of old second-hand smoke that lingers like a relative who over-stays his visit.   ”It’s  somewhere between a historical hippy dive and a cozy live venue, this place oozes earthi-ness and kitschy humor.”

There is dark wood, a lot of antique memorabilia hanging from the walls – an old rideable tractor toy, a vintage tricycle and a pitchfork with a sign saying “Be Good or Be Gone.”

Memorabilia Adds to the Ambiance

Our bartender was a very nice lady named Angela, who has worked at the pub for ten years and is finishing her graduate degree at Portland State.

 Angela – let us sample six of the seventeen beers on tap before we decided on Hub Crosstown Pale Ale - an organic and local beer that was superb

Angela - An Educated and Friendly Bartender

As described on the brewery’s website: “This beer bridges east and west with a lane dedicated to riders who aren’t afraid to get dirty. Three kinds of organic caramel malts and a 24 pound whirlpool hop bomb keep things interesting while the wheels go round and round. Cheers to narrow knobbies, kazoos, and more cowbell!”

I also had a very good Engleberg Pilsner from Upright Brewing Company in Portland.

Hub Crosstown Pale Ale

According to Angela, their evening clientele is very mixed and interesting. One can see earthy-types of all ages, professors, students and neighborhood yuppies.

There is a small room separated from the bar by a neat corridor with two pool tables and video machines.

Adding to the nice environment were a number of sketches and paintings from various local artists adorning the wall – exhibited on a rotating basis (Janet Julian, a musician who has played at Laurelthirst, was the featured artist when we were there).

Remembering Those Who Have Passed on Verses Passed Out

Also a wall with sketches and photos of regulars who are now drinking their beer in heavenly bliss and eternal suds… Their Happy Hour is each weekday from 6:00 to 8:00 P.M. (not for those who are deceased)

The “Hurst” (purportedly the preferred moniker for those in the know…) has also drawn rave reviews for its breakfasts

Distinguishing Characteristics

Besides the unique and homey environment, the music also differentiates Laurelthirst from many neighborhood bars.  A very small stage in the main bar area hosts the bands which range from bluegrass to jazz.            

The Stage -- A Variety of Good Music

When there are quality groups, the area can become very crowded with observers and dancers — but that adds to the charm.

Good local and NW groups perform daily and on weekends.  For example, in one recent week, the groups featured at the pub included:

• The Jimmy Boyer Band 
• Portland Country Underground                                
•  Michael Hurley and the Croakers                       
•  Woodbrain                                                       
• Tree Frogs   
• The Lewi Longmire Band 
•  Freak Mountain Ramblers

Memories of Bands from the Past

Whether it is to hear a good band, sample a NW microbrew or have a good breakfast, the Laurelthirst is a neighborhood treasure in NE Portland.

Laurelthirst Public House                 2958 NE Glisan St.

America Asks “What’s for Breakfast”

A Portland Landmark

Since Scott is a former collegiate athlete (basketball and football at Grinnell College in Iowa) and in good physical shape, when I suggested we sample the fare, it led him  to quote deceased fitness guru, Jack LaLanne, “Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut.  No wonder they are sick and fouled up.”  Given that we were on a pub tour, I reminded him that the relevant slogan should instead be:  “Beer – it’s so much more than just a breakfast drink….”

The Ash Street Saloon

The Ash Street Saloon like the Dixie Tavern is in a very old building with purportedly historic roots.  One reviewer stated:

“Before the Ash Street Saloon started in 1994, it was a Korean Restaurant, before that a Mexican joint, and long before that it was a bookstore, and sometime around that era a barbershop as well. The place has worn many faces.

There was a restaurant called Hesse’s Cafe in the 1915 and 1930s next to it, they used to pass out tokens for meals to all the sailors and port workers. It also had a card room in the back that few knew about. But it all started as the Bickle Building, built in 1885. This was where the Portland City Council would meet up stairs… below was a confectionary (candy store).”

Bartender Tracy, Scott Whipple and thebeerchaser Logo

The bartender was a very nice lady named Tracy – originally from Erie, Pennsylvania, and now a confirmed Portlander.  It was a little rocky at the start when she asked Scott, “Do you have any ID.”   Scott responded in lawyer mode by asking, “About What?”  Fortunately, she brushed that off and then told us about the great half-pound burgers they offered, Happy Hour from 4 to 8:00 PM each day and the good live music seven nights of the week.

Distinguishing Characteristics

The reputation for live music is this venue’s main attraction.  Although the bar area itself is very small, there is ample room for bands and people to dance.  One review stated:   “It is a large dark space with a strange little bar….The Ash St. Saloon has a true, deep love for supporting music. This place is a haven for touring and local artists. The venue has great sound. Ask any musician in Portland and they’ll rave about the sound engineer, everyone in town loves her.”

If it were not for the music, Ash Street could be considered just a dive bar.  The building is old and quirky – for example, old deteriorating wood floors on the bar floor and brick walls in the band area.  Some have raised concerns about it being grimy:

A Tradition for Live Music

“The bathrooms are sometimes sketchy. ”  Perhaps “sketchy” was exemplified by another person who stated, “The bathroom has one of those old-school, and I’m betting, very unsanitary rotating pieces of cloth towels and the women’s room had weird oil marks on the cloth towel.” 

Another asked what might be considered  to be not just a rhetorical question:

Was that a large rat scampering across the floor or a small nutria?”

We ended our tour of Ash Street with Scott reminiscing about the good old days in college.  Of course, I raised the question as to why any rational person would go to college in Iowa even if they were on an athletic scholarship.  Scott countered with a quote from Iowa Congressman, Leonard Boswell:  “Iowa is home to teachers, farmers, lawyers, factory workers, and many others who work hard every day to provide the best for their families and their future. “

Midwestern Higher Education

“Ethanol  is not just hype — it’s dangerous, delusional bullshit. Ethanol doesn’t burn cleaner than gasoline, nor is it cheaper. It consumes twenty percent of the entire U.S. corn crop, causing the price of corn to double.” –Jeff Goodell, Rolling Stone Magazine (issue 1032)

One should be cautious in giving credence to bar reviews (except for this site….)  As was the case with The Dixie Tavern, the contrast in sentiments is remarkable.  For example:

• “The appropriate way to describe the scene at Dixie Tavern - remember your worst middle school dance, with less sexiness.” (Comment – Was this person a classmate of the beerchaser at Thora B. Gardiner Jr. Middle School in Oregon City?)    

Nothing has Changed Since 1962 – Even the Dances??

The Main Bar at Dixie’s

“Dixie isn’t too bad. I like this bar a lot more during the work week when it’s not a full on meat market. Then you can actually talk to the bartenders who are nice and make good cocktails, listen to some good rock, order some tasty food, and just relax in general…….

Once the weekend hits it turns into a meat market. It turns into a completely different bar - it goes crazy with girls dancing on the bar, drunk as *&#@ people scattered everywhere, lame/plastic people.”

The second review was spot on.  Dixie was very low-key on our first visit – a Thursday night around 7:00 P.M. The place is immense with the main bar downstairs seating about twenty-five and a second bar on the same floor having about twelve seats.  There is a third bar upstairs for the weekends. Only the main bar was occupied at the time.

Karlin the Bartender

Karlin – “That’s like George with a K”  was wonderful informing us about the bar including its happy hours -Tuesday through Saturday from 4 to 7 PM. Our first question was “How many beers on tap?” to which she replied, “None. — We only serve beer in cans!”  (about 20 options)  That’s right -  they have no beer on tap! - we paid $2 for a can of PBR at Happy Hour.  We also learned that the bartenders’ motto is “Dixie has great cans….”

Distinguishing Characteristics

• It has activities almost every night ranging from karaoke to goldfish races. (Karlin explained that these are wild and the “jockeys” use squirt guns to spur their favorite marine creature to win.)       

Notwithstanding the intensity of the contests, we did not see any PETA representatives or their aquatic equivalents there at the time, which was good because it reminded me of the quote, “Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. It’s their way of falling.”

• There are probably about a hundred bras  hanging from the ceiling – which of course leads one to contemplate whether the idiom “In the Cups,” had its origin at Dixie rather than in the 1500′s in an English pub.  (“Because of its euphemistic and literary tone, this phrase is usually used jocularly.” Source = THE DRUNKTIONARY)

No Floaters at Dixie's Goldfish Tank

Evidently, when female patrons dance on the bar – a tradition at The Dixie - they inconspicuously  remove their bras and attempt to throw them on the antlers of the large moose-head hanging on the wall.  Then each year, Dixie’s donates $5 for each bra on the ceiling to the Susan Komen Race for the Cure – a great cause.

A New Meaning to “In the Cups”

Of course, this led my friend, erudite Portland attorney, Scott Whipple to wonder out loud, “It is interesting that the plural of the singular ‘goldfish’ is identical — ‘goldfish’, and that is also the case with ‘lingerie’.”

• Dixie’s has good food.  The loaded Tater Tot and the Southwest Chicken Salad were outstanding and the cook was a great guy.

Of course, the bar was totally different on a Friday night.  There was a line to get in and a mediocre disk jockey – no cover charge.  It was noisy and there was a large but orderly crowd – thanks, in part, to the bouncer – a friendly chap named Jessie, who checked ID and the temperament of patrons at the front door.

Who's Going to Mess with Jessie?

He is the guy in the T-shirt (it was about 30 degrees that night.)  Jessie was good at his job and looked really tough –

“How tough?” you ask….“Well, he was so tough that during his break, he ate a live lobster and killed it by hitting himself in the stomach on its way down.”

The bar’s website states, “Dixie rocks Old Town Portland every weekend; we start early and end late with the craziest ladies night in town every Thursday, and a rockin dance party every Friday and Saturday.”

One of the reasons for thebeerchaser tour is to experience the ambiance unique to each bar, pub or tavern.  I would suggest that each ale house has its own character based, in part, on the conversations and relationships of its patrons.  Thus, by listening and interacting, I have gleaned pearls of wisdom from my visit to Joe’s Cellar that were distinct from Prost, the Yukon Tavern or the Twilight Room and other stops on my tour;

however,

All the discourse was worthwhile and sincere, which is not true of much of today’s dialogue – most notably in politics, government and law.  It seems fitting, therefore to start the New Year by acknowledging, Dr. Harry Frankfurt Ph.D., as the January Beerchaser of the Month.  He is the author of a brilliant 67-page treatise published in 2005 entitled:

As the esteemed Dr. states: (all quotes below in blue italics)

The realms of advertising and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept.

Unmitigated BS

In On Bullshit, Dr. Frankfurt, quotes from learned sources such as the Oxford English Dictionary  

A Relevant Reference Sourc

The Prevalence of Humbug (an essay by Max Black 1985)      

The Economist 

and “Lying” in Treatises on Various Subject in Fathers of the Church by RJ Deferrari (1952) re. St. Augustine’s position on lying.

St. Augustine

Dr. Frankfurt’s stated purpose in On Bullshit will help you understand why this little book is so insightful:

In consequence, we have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves.  And we lack a conscientiously developed appreciation of what it means to us.  In other words, we have no theory. 

I propose to begin the development of a theoretical understanding of bullshit mainly by providing some tentative and exploratory analysis…..My aim is simply to give a rough account of what bullshit is and how it differs from what it is not.

Understandably, the professor agonized that, “Even the most basic and preliminary questions about bullshit remain, after all, not only answered, but unasked.” (emphasis supplied)  

Questions on BS??

With the Presidential election cycle upon us and the increasing use of the internet and social media for communication, “On Bullshit” becomes an invaluable resource to gauge communication….and character.

A recent column by The New York Times Op-ed Columnist, David Brooks, entitled, “Behaving Badly in Cyberspace” wisely states:

Columnist David Brooks

A Question of Proportions

A Great Communicator and Pub Companion

“We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate.”  Thoreau said this even before some of the statements uttered by George W. Bush and Texas Governor, Rick Perry  (I wonder if they had a pub in the vicinity of Walden Pond?)  It also begs the question whether Thoreau was implying that Maine and Texas residents are bullshitters, which Dr. Frankfurt does not address in his book.

And now, Rumsfeld’s comment on why no weapons of mass destruction had been found in Iraq:

Obfuscation or Just BS?

There are known knowns, there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – there are things we do not know we don’t know.

Rumsfeld’s quote may typify government communication and reinforces the need for a new law signed by President Obama, effective October 2011 – “The Plain Writing Act” – perhaps more aptly described as the “Anti-Bullshit Act.”

Can You Legislate Against BS?

It was prompted by such examples as the Pentagon 26-page brownie recipe which included a directive that “ingredients shall be examined organoleptically.” 

Frankfurt would certainly classify that directive as bullshit. A pre and post – Act comparison is edifying:

Before – “The Dietary Guidelines for Americans” recommends a half-hour or more of moderate physical activity on most days, preferably every day.  The activity can include brisk walking, calisthenics, home care, gardening, moderated sports exercise and dancing.”

After – “Do at least 30 minutes of exercise, like brisk walking, most days of the week.”

A Stark Contrast – Does it Drive One to Drink?

To further the premise that communication has declined in quality and the bullshit quotient increased, we can turn to the contrast between Benjamin Franklin and current Republican candidate, Presidential Newt Gingrich.  Perhaps dialogue was more meaningful, tempered and civil in Franklin and Thoreau’s time because they strived to make it that way.

Franklin integrated his social and civic life with his business life.  In 1727, he formed a club of young workingman called, “The Junto.”

The Founder of The Junto

When they met they discussed issues of the day, debated philosophical topics and devised schemes for self-improvement.  In a description of the goals of this group, Walter Isaacson, in his 2003 590-page book, Benjamin Franklin, An American Life” states:

Franklin stressed the importance of deferring, or at least giving the appearance of deferring, to others…… ”When another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied myself the pleasure of contradicting him.”  

Instead, he would agree in parts and suggest differences only indirectly…. This velvet-tongued and sweetly passive style of circumspect argument would make him seem sage to some, insinuating and manipulative to others, but inflammatory to almost nobody.

BS Trendline in Election Years

The contrast between Franklin and Gingrich’s demeanor and communication is striking.  Gingrich’s term as Speaker of the House, essentially marked the beginning of the end of bi-partisanship and civility in Congress.

"Yo -- BS Alert"

I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican party is that we don’t encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, and loyal and faithful and all those Boy Scout words.

..There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate

The above is Newtie’s rationale for multiple marital affairs – BS so profound that it would astonish even Dr. Harry Frankfurt.  Perhaps the following excerpt from On Bullshit is particulary apt during election campaigns — especially in this era of concern about global warming:

When we characterize talk as hot air, we mean that what comes out of the speaker’s mouth is only that. It is mere vapor.  His speech is empty, without substance or content.  His use of language accordingly does not contribute to the purpose it purports to serve. 

Uplifting???

No more information is communicated than if the speaker had merely exhaled.  There are similarities between hot air and excrement, incidentally, which make hot air seem an especially suitable equivalent for bullshit.  Just as hot air is speech that has been emptied of all informative content, so excrement is matter from which everything nutritive has been removed.”

While Franklin’s Junto may not have initially met in a tavern or alehouse, it would seem that this type of setting would have been appropriate.  Although it is a generalization, I have found that those who frequent pubs have a propensity to identify and refrain from drinking with bullshitters.  There is a certain authenticity and candor to bar-room rhetoric that is refreshing.

This is not to suggest, however, that a good bull session is out of place in the tavern setting.  It is critical to understand the distinction.   

What tends to go on in a bull session is that the participants try out various thoughts and attitudes in order to see how it feels to hear themselves saying such things and in order to discover how others respond, without it being assumed that they are committed to what they say. It is understood by everyone in a bull session that the statements people make do not necessarily reveal what they believe or how they really feel…..

Shooting the Bull

The purpose of the conversation is not to communicate beliefs.  Accordingly, the usual assumptions about the connection between what people say and what they believe are suspended.  The statements made in a bull session are different than bullshit in that there is no pretense that this connection is being sustained.

This resemblance between bull sessions and bullshit is suggested also by the term ‘shooting the bull,” which refers to the sort of conversation that characterizes bull sessions and in which the term ‘shooting’ is very likely a cleaned-up rendition of ‘shitting.’  The very term ‘bull session’ is, indeed, quite probably a sanitized version of “bullshit session.’”

So let us embark in 2012 by toasting Dr. Harry Frankfurt and his book – still available at Amazon.  Let us resolve to speak with candor and frankness, but with civility.  Let us not shy away from debating issues ranging from the Portland Trailblazers, to the Columbia River Crossing to the impact of eliminating the letter ‘M’ from the alphabet, in bull sessions.

But as we lift our mugs in 2012, let us avoid the furtherance of bullshit.

A Toast to Dr. Frankfurt!

A Concluding Rhetorical Question from Dr. Frankfurt

Is the bullshitter by his very nature a mindless slob?  Is his product necessarily messy or unrefined?     The word ‘shit” does, to be sure, suggest this. 

Excrement is not designed or crafted after all; it is merely emitted or dumped.  It may have more or less coherent shape, or it may not, but it is in any case, certainly not wrought.

A Tour of Portland Pubs --- Bar None!

Happy New Year from Thebeerchaser

Since starting this blog a few months after I retired in late May this year, I have visited nine establishments on thebeerchaser’s Portland bar tour.  They have included:

• Classic “dive bars” such as the Yukon in Sellwood and Joe’s Cellar in NW Portland,
• Traditional neighborhood pubs such as the Brooklyn Park Pub, the Gladstone Street Pub and the Twilight Room,
• Brew Pubs including Coalition and Amnesia and
• Some distinguished alehouses or watering holes that don’t fit a category including the Buffalo Gap Saloon and Prost

In June, the beerchaser got his start

Some felt this Tour was not too smart

Portland bars are North, South, East and West

How does one locate the pub that’s best?

Yukon, Gladstone Street, Coalition, Buffalo Gap all deserve a toast

Don’t forget the T-Room, Amnesia, Joe’s Cellar and Prost

And the Brooklyn Park was a wonderful fit

But……

There are more bars to see before I quit.

Many “Frosty” mugs to drink before I quit.

May your New Year be a happy one,

From thebeerchaser and his tour of Portland taverns “Bar None”

                  Amnesia Brew Pub

The Brooklyn Park Pub

The Coalition Brewing Co. Pub

The Buffalo Gap Saloon

The Gladstone Street Pub

Joe's Cellar

Prost

                                                              The Twilight Room

                 The Yukon Tavern

The beerchaser tour will resume in January.  Make  your suggestions for establishments that deserve a visit.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

thebeerchaser

Since 1974, a Portland Classic!

• First, the fact that one of Oregon’s premier appellate lawyers and former KATU Town Hall moderator, Jack Faust, suggested we go to lunch there.
  

  Our Server, Holly Eldridge and Jack Faust

(Unfortunately, there was no prior disclosure that he was going to wear his Duck sweatshirt.)

• Secondly, the Buffalo Gap Saloon reeks of history and ambiance offered only by the classic American road house.

Some research confirmed the rich history of this rambling establishment, which was opened in 1974 by the Sutzmans.  It was named for their home town in Custer County, South Dakota.  Buffalo Gap, in the Black Hills, had a population of 100 when they opened their Portland bar, and the town has experienced robust growth — It was 126 in the 2010 census.  A great summary of the origin and history of the Saloon is in the blog of the former owner’s son, Sean Sutzman (“The Monday Report”) .

Distinguishing Characteristics

• The layout of the building is incredibly quirky.  The original building only housed 25 patrons, but with additions over the years, it now has a bar on each story of the building and can seat up to 200 people.  Upstairs they have small concerts and crowds for various athletic events on the big screen TVs.
            One of the Game Rooms

The pool room, now called, The Annex, is very large with about five tables and evidently at one time was a law office and purportedly a brothel – probably not at the same time………….

• The Food — If  you want a large selection of beers, the Buffalo Gap will disappoint you – the downstairs bar had only five options on tap, but the menu is quite substantial and it is a favorite breakfast spot for many.  For lunch and dinner, the sandwiches, salads, soups and heavier fare are very reasonably priced, tasty and the portions are ample to say the least.

As we walked in, the classic Eagle Tune, “Take it Easy” – originally recorded in 1972 – was playing and it is no stretch that some of the BG regulars were probably listening to it while drinking beer in the 1970′s.   Given the history and the great environment of this Southeast Portland institution, I can see patrons humming Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away in another forty years —– but then again, maybe not!

The Buffalo Gap Saloon      6835 SW Macadam Avenue

Memories of Amnesia Brewing???

Although they do have a good selection of beers with interesting names, the place seems more like a cafeteria – for example plastic chairs and picnic tables.  The bartender was not very friendly and Amnesia just doesn’t come close to the ambiance that made the Coalition Brewing Co. Pub such a good place to visit. 

. 

After the great environment up the street at Prost, Amnesia was as flat as a happy hour PBR — the next day

Maybe in the summer, when they open the large garage doors to the beer garden, of sorts, the atmosphere might be better (although some will complain because they allow smoking in the beer garden)

Perhaps novelist Stephen Wright’s quote is the most appropriate way to move on from this experience:

Prost is a classy German-style pub with both Portland and Seattle locations.  The name is the German equivalent to the English toast “Cheers.”  (“Bottoms Up” is “Zum Wohl.”)  We were there on a Wednesday night and it was jammed – the second anniversary of the Portland bar was that weekend (October 28th) and undoubtedly, the crowd spilled out into the large beer garden, which has heaters in the winter and ample space.  

There are all kinds of old photos on the wall, many of which are from the one of the co-owner’s (Chris Navarra) home town in Germany.  All “bier” is imported from Germany and there were eight selections on the menu plus three rotating taps.   We liked the Bitsburger Pilsner and the darker Spaten Optimator – which sounded cool just ordering it. There were also a nice selection of bratwurst sandwiches and salads. 

Unfortunately for those in my group, the German origins of Prost compelled thebeerchaser to tell the international monetary joke from George Will’s column the day before, to wit:  A Spaniard, a Greek and an Italian walk into a bar one night.  They drink until dawn.  Who picks up the tab?

Blame George - not thebeerchaser!

Answer = The German

Harkening back to college, Prost is a pub with the type of atmosphere that would allow you, after one beer, to forget about the term paper due the next day – until you weaved out several hours later.

The hat may not still be in style - but the bier is!

Distinguishing Features

Prost has a “Stein Club Membership” for overachiever beer drinkers.  A punch card (with 50 pints checked off) will ”earn” the individual a shirt and there are eight levels of progress.  For example at five cards – a plaque on the “Wall of Bier” and you can slosh you way to 30 cards, which is a custom Prost jacket.  After 1,500 pints, I’m sure they’re only available in extra-large.

The small plaques – there were about 20 – on the entrance wall are a nice touch and have the drinker’s name, the date the feat was accomplished and a quote for humanity e.g. Karl Johnson, Feb. 2011 “Wise Beyond my Biers,” or Robert Bennett, April 2011 “Beauty is in the eye of the Bierholder.”

The Boot                                                   

Getting the Boot from Emily the Bartender

 The most fun and interesting event that night for our group of six was buying a 2 liter glass boot for $18 – plus a $50 breakage deposit! The custom is that once purchased, the boot has to be passed within your group and cannot touch the table.  We didn’t ask about the consequences, but that was no problem for us.   

We were advised to point the toe  towards you when you drank or you would have bier stains on your torso.  Given the name of the pub, it is fitting to end the review of Prost with a toast.

For every wound – a balm.

For every sorrow – cheer.

For every storm – a calm.

For every thirst – bier.

             Prost                            4237 N Mississippi Avenue

• Phoebe             The Brooklyn Park Pub   
• Natasha            The Gladstone Street Tavern
• Dave                 The Twilight Room
• Emily                  Prost 

Phoebe from the Brooklyn Park Pub

Indeed, the personality of the bartender will often determine the ambiance or lack of it in a neighborhood pub or a dive bar. 

Perhaps all of us have wished we could have the barkeep experience and Hall of Fame basketball coach, Al McGuire of Marquette University, aptly conveyed the sentiment:  “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cab driver. Then they would really be educated.”

Natasha from the Gladstone Street Tavern

My favorite country-western singer, George Jones in his song, “The Bartender’s Blues” portrays the job as a downer – just look at an excerpt from the lyrics below:

Well I’m just a bartender
And I don’t like my work
But I don’t mind the money at all
I’ve seen lots of sad faces
And lots of bad cases
Of folks with their backs to the wall

But I got four walls around me, to hold my life
To keep me from going astray
And a honky-tonk angel, to hold me tight
To keep me from slipping away 

The Twilight Room's Bartender -- Dave

However, each one of all-stars above was personable, friendly and appeared to really enjoy what he or she was doing.  That said, there are certainly jerk bartenders, who hurt the image.  My favorite crime novelist and the September Beerchaser of the Month, James Crumley, relates his experience with one of these in an excerpt from his novel, The Last Good Kiss:

“For a tip, I left him the remains of a stale beer.  When even the bartenders lose their romantic notions, it’s time for a better world.”

Emily From Prost

Hats off to Phoebe, Natasha, Dave and Emily and the next time you have a pint, leave not only a good tip, but a kind word for your bartender.  Their job is not easy:

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.

The name for this ten-barrel brewery and pub accurately reflects the opinion of both thebeerchaser and his spouse on this pub.  While we have had ample disagreement on the quality and ambiance of prior bars on the tour, both of us were united that the Coalition Brew Co. Pub is a gem.

Welcome to the Coalition

Their website accurately describes it as an, “intimate neighborhood gathering place with the feel of a traditional public house.”  It seats about twenty-five inside and has dark, classy woodwork for the bar and tables.  The front wall is essentially a garage door that opens so people can sit outside weather permitting, and there is also a small beer garden.  Historical pictures of their brewery and Portland decorate the walls and enhance the ambiance.

A Nice Ambiance

 There were seven of Coalition’s own beers on tap including our favorites – ironically, in inverse order of their alcoholic content!

• Mr. Pig’s Pale Ale              5.0%
• King Kathy’s Red              5.7%
• Two Dogs IPA                   5.8%

The Loving Cup Maple Porter may be better suited to a bucket hanging from a tree in Vermont on a cold winter day.

Distinguishing Characteristics

Grilled Cheese Partnership

Because its menu is extremely limited, The Coalition partners with the Grilled Cheese Grill (GCG) located in their small beer garden.  An extensive menu of grilled cheese sandwiches and cheeseburgers is available.    For example, “the Jalapeno Popper” is roasted jalapeno, Colby jack, cream cheese and corn tortilla chips on sourdough – you can also add ham for $1.75.

Or you can simply choose “The First Grader” which is one slice of white, one slice of wheat with Tillamook, Cheddar and American cheeses.  Order a bowl of tomato soup for $2.50 and memories of Ted and Sally, Boots and Tuffy and the swing set at your grade school come flooding back – except that you drank milk instead of beer with your lunch! 

The CGC menu concludes with:

“So come by for a taste of your childhood.  Unless your childhood sucked, and then we’ll let ya have a taste of ours.”

The Coalator Program

            The pub features new beers where home brewers are selected from the community and featured on a specialty tap to showcase each Coalator.

The Coalition Brew Co. Pub             2724 SE Ankeny  Portland