Thebeerchaser Does Colorado – Breckenridge – The Final Chapter

Breckenridge - A Colorado city with great views and great brews.....

Breckenridge – A Colorado city with great views and brews…..

We finished our twelve-day trip to Colorado last fall with a week in a Breckenridge condo, after visiting Boulder, Fort Collins and Colorado Springs.  Breckenridge, since its ski areas opened in the early 1960’s, has shed its reliance on mining and this bustling burg of about 5,000 people, is now a tourist mecca.

Breckenridge - where the skiing is superb and the beer is brewed with "altitude."
Breckenridge – where the skiing is superb and the beer is brewed with “altitude.”

 While known primarily as a winter ski resort, it is also an inviting destination when the lifts are not running.  Hiking, cycling, fishing and, of course, since this is Thebeerchaser blog, let’s not forget, lively and interesting eateries and watering holes in which to raise a mug.

A short hike on the Iowa Hill trail in Breckenridge

A short hike on the Iowa Hill Trail in Breckenridge

Based on multiple recommendations, our first night, we ate at Angel’s Hollow, in a quaint old house and which not only had outstanding food (Janet said the best minestrone soup she has ever had) but an interesting bar with friendly people from all over the US.

The Angel's Hollow

The Angel’s Hollow

 

 

 

 

 

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They included Joe, Paul, Shannon and Len, who were drinking beer with straight shots of Jamison’s as a chaser.  They wanted to buy us shots and to join them –  I did and Janet declined!.  Angel’s Hollow is also known for wonderful margaritas – understandably.

Nothing like a few shots of Jamison to break the ice......
Nothing like a few shots of Jamison to break the ice……

 

It’s co-owned by a husband and wife.  Lee, the husband is also the cook – a good one who takes no guff from unruly patrons – possibly because after attending culinary school in New York, he cooked for the Hell’s Angels for several years.

A May 2015 Yelp comment summed up this bistro quite well:

Lee, the bartender and cook (not mellowed by Hells Angel's gig)

Lee: co-owner, bartender and cook (not mellowed by Hells Angel’s gig)

 

“Amazing drinks! Killer margaritas! The music is super loud and awesome! The bartender is the most bad ass dude I’ve met in awhile and it’s like a big party in a log cabin!”

The Breckenridge commercial area is pretty compact – and not far from the slopes – so tourists are advised to refrain not only from drinking and driving, but drinking and skiing. 

Janet "pouring" over the extensive list of craft beers - notice the "PumKing" tap

Janet “pouring” over the extensive list of craft beers – notice the “PumKing” tap

 

Another nice little bar – also on Main Street – Apres Handcrafted Libations – beckoned us for a nightcap and presented a lot of choices.

“30 rotating craft taps, 40+ rotating craft bottled/canned beers, craft and small batch whiskey and the finest handcrafted cocktails in Breckenridge.” 

 

Instead of a cocktail, we split a New York beer – Southern Tier “Pumking” Ale – a great choice with a neat tap…P1020984

The next night we ate at Ollie’s Pub and Grub – a good brewpub with stand-out hamburgers – advertised as “The Best in Breck,” – and if not, they had to be close.  As usual, we sat at the bar which makes it easier to strike up conversation and met a friendly couple from Texas.

Ollies - the best burger in Breck?

Ollies – the best burger in Breck?

A short road trip the next day took us over the pass to Vale – which seemed more effete than the amiable village of Breckenridge and returned through Dillon.  The recommendations of locals held sway and we had lunch and a beer at the Dillon Dam Brewery -opened in 1997 and now with thirteen of its own beers on tap.

It advertises itself (I’m somewhat skeptical) as “The largest brew-pub in the Colorado Rockies” – but regardless if this claim is accurate, they keep their promise of brewing “Dam Good Beer” – most notably, the award-winning Chili Lager.

Dam Good Beer found here....

Dam Good Beer found here….

Two other breweries while in Breck were on the agenda for short visits – the Breckenridge Brewery and the very new Broken Compass Brewery (it was just opened in May 2014) and was pretty sparse using a ski lift seat as one of the benches……)

The former was opened in 1980 by a “typical ski bum – with one significant difference. He had a knack for making extraordinary home brew……..Breckenridge Brewery has grown from a small 3,000-barrel-a-year brewpub (and)…we now craft well over 62,000 barrels of fresh beer annually, and we operate five brewpubs and ale houses in the state of Colorado.” 

Thebeerchaser at the Breckenridge Brewery

Thebeerchaser at the Breckenridge Brewery

 

Broken Compass Brewery was founded by some home brewers with backgrounds in chemical engineering and sustainability.  The brewpub is pretty meager (see the picture below) and ambiance is lacking but……

Ski-lift chairs for furniture
Ski-lift chairs for furniture at Broken Compass

 

 

 

 

They have expanded from six to twelve beers and the reviews on the beer are good.  We met a sister and two brothers who were on a road trip from Florida to spread their mom’s ashes in the Rockies.

The last bar visited in Breck was also the most interesting and has a rich history as per the description by Dr. Thomas Noel, author of Colorado – A Liquid History and Tavern Guide to the Highest State, in his description of the Gold Pan Saloon:

Quenching the thirst of miners, skiers and residents since Rutherford B. Hayes was President!

Quenching the thirst of miners, skiers and residents since Rutherford B. Hayes was President!

“In 1880, the town had eighteen saloons and three dance halls on Main Street…..The number of saloons and mines began to taper off by 1910 when Breckenridge went into total hibernation.  

The town shrank to less than 300.   The drowsy decades ended with an avalanche of development triggered by the opening of the Breckenridge Ski Area…..in the early 1960’s.  By 1990, the town had grown to 1,285 nearly its mid-1880’s peak population.  A dozen new saloons opened, but none outshone the old Gold Pan, which has quenched Breckenridge’s thirst since 1879.” (emphasis supplied)

P1030061And I would suggest that although the bar with the same name on Mt. Rushmore Street in Custer, South Dakota, also has some stories to tell, the Breckenridge version has a more esteemed position in its contribution to the annals of American saloons.

While it is in a clapboard building and does have some flat screen TVs and pool tables, the authentic historical trappings in the two rooms (one for the restaurant and one for the bar) of the saloon are compelling.  And remember – it stayed open even during Prohibition.  P1030059

 

Dr. Noel describes the classic wooden backbars in many of America’s older bars.   The Gold Pan is no exception as described on page 32 of his book: “The Brunswick-Balke-Collander Company of St. Louis made the classic altar of Bachhus with egg-and-dart trim and Ionic columns framing a huge mirror whose centerpiece is a rusty gold pan with broken clock hands.”

Inscription in the historic backbar

Inscription in the historic backbar

 

And perhaps the stories and conversation I heard are more contemporary then those described by Tom Noel below, but they are still engaging.

My friendly bartender told me how any such job in Breckenridge is cherished –  “We work in the off-season to buy our season lift tickets…” and how the City Council is trying to adapt to marijuana initiative: “They don’t want a recreational marijuana dispensary on Main Street, but is that hypocrisy or a contradiction given the number of bars not only on this street, but the two adjoining ones running through town.”                                      P1030055

And I listened to what had to be a regular complaining to his companion about Washington politicians:  “Perhaps Obama and Congress should come out and go skiing.  Then they can see what it’s like going downhill like the rest of America.”

This compares to Dr. Noel’s personal experience in the Gold Pan in the 1970’s – his first visit:  “Before I knew it, the shaggy, huge bartender was yelling at one of our party:  ‘You calling me a liar?  I didn’t short change you, you bitch!  Here’s your money back, all of it.'”  He then kicked all Noel’s party out of the bar.

Thanks to Dr. Tom Noel - rich stories of Colorado's watering holes

Thanks to Dr. Tom Noel – rich stories of Colorado’s watering holes

Admittedly, that’s not as pugnacious as the story he relates about a more congenial Gold Pan employee named Travis who gave the following account – and given the wonderful sagas in Dr. Noel’s book (available at Amazon and one you should acquire) it is fitting to end the narrative of our twelve days in Colorado in which we visited eighteen bars and brewpubs with one final story from the good University of Colorado professor:

“The meanest S.O.B. in here was a little guy who was part Injun.  One night I saw two rednecks hassling him.  He keep telling ’em to bug off, but they wouldn’t.  They were big guys.  Finally, he had enough.  He jumped on one of the guy’s lap, grabbed his ears and bit the tip of his nose off.  He spit it out and yelled, ‘You’re lucky I’m not hungry!'”

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Part III -Thebeerchaser Does Colorado – Fort Collins and Colorado Springs

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Colorado aspens in the fall
Thebeerchaser and spouse, Janet, road-tripping in Colorado
Thebeerchaser and spouse, Janet, road-tripping in Colorado

 Followers of Thebeerchaser blog may remember the first two narratives on our Colorado trip in the fall of 2014 – a general description of the fifteen-day trip and reviews of venues in the Boulder area.

Posts about local Portland watering holes and a twelve-day trip to the Southeast (Atlanta, Asheville, Charleston and Savannah) have delayed the final posts on our trip to the highest state, but establishments in Fort Collins and Colorado Springs are below.

Professor Tom Noel's book - an invaluable Beerchaser reference
Professor Tom Noel’s book – an invaluable Beerchaser reference

  Chicago Tribune Beer and Travel Writer, Josh Noel, in an article originally published in 2010 asked and answered the question: “The air is clean and the skiing is great, but do you know what really inspires fervor in the Rockies?  —Beer.”   

(I wonder if he is related to Dr. Thomas Noel, the author of Colorado: A Liquid History and Tavern Guide to the Highest State, cited in Thebeerchaser’s previous Colorado posts as well as below?)

Josh Noel’s article describes New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins as “(setting) the standard for craft beer success. (There are now 280 breweries in Colorado)  Founded in a basement in 1991, it has become the nation’s seventh-largest brewery on the strength of its Fat Tire Amber Ale and more daring offerings…”   

A chance Oregon meeting of my wife, Janet, and New Belgium Executive, Shawn Hines (he’s worked at NB since 2003 and his official title is Field Branding Manager and Pharoah of Phlow) when he and his wife, Allison, were wine tasting in Oregon’s Yamhill Valley, yielded an invitation to visit New Belgium’s brewery and two passes to the very popular New Belgium tour.

New Belgium - a great employer and major player in the US Micro-craft industry
New Belgium – a great employer and major player in the US Micro-craft industry

 

And according to multiple sources, based on its enlightened management style and benefits, New Belgium is THE place to work in Fort Collins.  Outside Magazine named it the No. 7 in its list of Best Places to Work in 2014 and it has cracked the Top 20 list six times – named No. 1 in 2008.

The impressive Fort Collins brewery - and Asheville N.C. comes on line in late 2015

The impressive Fort Collins New Belgium brewery – and Asheville N.C. comes on line in late 2015

                        ———–

 

Any job opening has a flood of applications and there are great promotion opportunities.  Our charismatic tour guide, Marie, is living proof.  She started as a fork-lift operator in the warehouse and has now worked there almost ten  years.

Marie told us that her forthcoming one-month paid sabbatical is standard for ALL employees after ten years, as is a Fat Tire Bicycle on their first anniversary and an all-expense trip to Belgium to learn more about the brewing legacy after five years.

New Belgium guide, Marie and Janet Williams

New Belgium guide, Marie and Janet Williams

They also have a great benefit package with one unusual perk: “Co-workers also receive a 12-pack of Employee Beer each week and an opportunity to enjoy (1) shift beer after docking out after their shift.” (I guess “opportunity” means it’s not mandatory!)

I can taste the Fat Tire now.....

I can taste the Fat Tire now…..

The majority of time slots for the tour are filled for the next 2.5 months and it was interesting plus a chance to taste about seven of the beers during the 90-minute walk through their facilities.

New Belgium will open a new brewery in Asheville, North Carolina in late 2015, which will enhance its scope and distribution.  The company also has an outstanding reputation for its sustainability and environmental ethics.

Automation at New Belgium

Automation at New Belgium

Marie enthusiastically explains barrel aging on the tour

Marie enthusiastically explains barrel aging on the tour

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fort Collins, home of Colorado State University is also a typical college-town with great bars.  While time limited our selection we visited a wonderful  historic bar – The Town Pump, established in 1909 and right on College Avenue downtown.

The Town Pump - since 1909
The Town Pump – since 1909

 

According to Dr. Noel, it’s the oldest watering hole in Fort Collins and sits in an historic structure built in 1897.  “It’s a tiny, dark, old-fashioned saloon.  An armadillo greets customers from atop the miniature back-bar, and numerous other stuffed animals watch glassy-eyed from the walls …….(including) a horned bobcat on the back-bar.”

Authentic dive-bar character...
Authentic dive-bar character…

We were there on a Friday night when it was jammed with college-kids, regulars and tourists (like us).

Checking ID's on Saturday night at the Town Pump

Checking ID’s at the Town Pump

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Noel does a good job integrating history in his reviews and stated, “During Prohibition, this was a drugstore with a speakeasy in the basement.  Booze came out of the closet for good in 1936, when the drugstore was reborn as the Town Pump.  Because Fort Collins was a semi-dry town until 1969, this place was allowed to serve only 3.2 beer.”   P1020958

This fact and the idiosyncratic law prohibiting most grocery stores from selling anything but “near-beer,” evokes the quote from Prohibition years, “Whoever called it near-beer, was a poor judge of distance.”

While there were a number of other great options, we had to limit our other Fort Collins venues to dinner and beer at The Mayor of Old Town.  This pub, which was on the 2012 Draft Magazine 100 Best Beer Bars and Craftbeer.com’s Top Fifteen Beer Bars in America the same year, is locally owned.

100 Beers on Tap at the Mayor of Old Town

Like many on the Draft Magazine list it has over 100 beers on tap and is more about beer selection than ambiance although they did have good pub food and the service was excellent notwithstanding the bustling Friday night crowd.

The Mayors Bar

The Mayor’s Bar

And as we headed south to Colorado Springs, we left what has been named The Napa Valley of Beer”– the area between Denver, Boulder and Fort Collins. This moniker is understandable, because it has the Coors, New Belgium and Avery breweries in addition to “six-dozen other award-winning brewpubs and micro-breweries.” (Denver Visitors’ Bureau).  It’s also called the Denver Beer Triangle.

While Colorado Springs does not compare with Fort Collins’ charm or the number and quality of bars and brewpubs, the trip there was memorable with great scenery including the impressive Garden of the Gods Park.

Thebeerchaser rests during our hike

Thebeerchaser rests during our hike

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We also visited the 18,500 acre US Air Force Academy and marveled at the renowned Chapel as well as being impressed when we witnessed the 4,000+ Cadet Wing assemble and march to lunch.

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My interest in visiting the underground bunker at Cheyenne Mountain and see the nearby NORAD headquarters was squashed when I learned that they no longer have tours – somewhat understandable given the state of security in today’s world.  I guess I will have to be satisfied with what I remember from the portrayal in Dr. Strangelove and Fail-Safe – movies from my youth.

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An impressive architectural vision - the Academy Chapel

An impressive architectural vision – the Academy Chapel

The Cadet Wing assembles

The Cadet Wing assembles

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In downtown Colorado Springs, we hit the Ritz Bar and Grill – this time on a Saturday night and it was rockin’.  We were attracted by the historic building and although I love beer, a good martini is an invitation not to be denied.

As Dr. Noel states in his book:

“Colorado’s largest martini can be found in the Art Deco watering hole.  Bright neon lights, marble counters and chrome fixtures are nifty……This bright high-ceilinged space in the turn-of-the-century Carleton Building retains its Roman tile floor from its former life as a music store (also a beauty saloon and barber shop according to the bartender).”

Blair and her outstanding dirty gin martini (up with olives..)

Blair and her outstanding dirty gin martini (up with olives..)

 

And Blair, our friendly bartender, mixed a great martini. The description from the Ritz website is a good description:

Saturday night at the Ritz

Saturday night at the Ritz

“The friendly, nostalgic atmosphere of the Ritz Grill has been a longtime favorite of the downtown crowd. The Ritz has been a Tejon Street hot spot for more than 15 years, and has gained notoriety for its food, cocktails, and live music……After 9 pm, the Ritz begins its transformation into downtown’s premier nightclub. Friday and Saturday, the Ritz features the best in Colorado live music with absolutely no cover charge.”

Although the menu and the food at the Ritz looked very good, we wanted to hit one more establishment before heading back to Breckenridge the next day, so we had dinner at the Phantom Canyon Brewing – a few blocks from the Ritz.

This inauspicious brewery and pub advertises as the oldest brewery in Colorado Springs – opened in 1993 – also in an historic building on the National Historic Register.

Opened in 1993

Opened in 1993

The structure, built in 1901, was the Cheyenne Building and originally the local offices of the Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific Railroad.  It was renovated in 1909 and re-opened as the Cheyenne Hotel.

An historic 1901 building

An historic 1901 building

They have a typical pub menu (we had delicious hamburgers and pizza ) and thirteen of their own draft beers plus a good selection of bottled beers.  We enjoyed the Inside Out Pilsner and a zesty 42 Seconds (Peppercorn Saison) which lived up to its billing -“brewed with rye and a four peppercorn blend that gives it a nice spicy character.”

And on the second floor is “the most elegant Billiard Hall in Colorado Springs” – with ten pool tables, dart boards, a jukebox and flat screens scattered throughout.

The Phantom Canyon bar

The Phantom Canyon bar

 

 

 

And one more excerpt from Tom Noel’s book:

“The unusual 1902 Brunswick backbar came from the Depot Bar in Pueblo;s Union Station.  Besides oak arches framing its mirrors, the bar has stained-glass Art Nouveau panels that are electrically backlighted, giving it a holy glow.”

The next morning we headed back to our Breckenridge condo for the final part of our Colorado stay.  The time on the road, while not lengthy, brings to mind a great quote on road trips from novelist, Lee Child in his book, Never Go Back:

“There were cities and there was countryside. There were mountains and there were valleys.  There were rivers.  There were museums and music and motels and clubs and diners and bars and buses.  There were battlefields and birthplaces and legends and roads.  There was company if I wanted it and there was solitude if I didn’t.”

An ode to Road Trips

An Ode to Road Trips

The Yamhill Pub – A Dive Bar with Character or Grunge?

the Yamhill Pub - Dive or Grunge - or is there a difference?

The Yamhill Pub – Dive or Grunge – or is there a difference?

One of the wide-ranging debates in contemporary society – rivaling that of climate change, the future of Congress as a viable institution and gun control is that of the definition of dive bars i.e. how does one determine if the PBR he is drinking is consumed in a true dive bar or a trendy hole-in-the-wall that tries to masquerade as one (or is there even a level below “dive bar”?)

Justice Stewart - probably raised a mug in some dive bars

Justice Stewart – probably raised a mug in some dive bars

Some will reference the late Supreme Court Justice, Potter Stewart’s threshold test for obscenity when he wrote in his legendary opinion about pornography, “I know it when I see it.” 

Others try to identify specific dive bar characteristics,as exemplified by reference sources used by Thebeerchaser in his journey to visit bars, taverns and pubs in Portland – and subsequently, other locales including Europe, Alaska, Colorado, the South and Oregon regions east of the Cascades, and on the Oregon Coast.

seattle-dive-bars

An invaluable Beerchaser reference source

For example, my favorite from pages 9-10 of Seattle’s Best Dive Bars by Mike Seely:

“Some dives have vomit-caked toilet seats in the bathroom; others have cracked vinyl booths in the barroom.  Some have nicotine-stained murals dating back to the Depression; others have drink prices that seemingly haven’t wavered since then……..But really, no collection of characteristics can be melded to truly define what makes a bar a dive…..The term “dive’”is bestowed with a spoonful of love….What they have in common aren’t so much attributes, but a state of mind — you just know one when you see one.    

The Yukon Tavern - one of Portland's other dive bars

The Yukon Tavern – one of Portland’s other dive bars

 

Dive bars is one of the subsets of venues reviewed on the home page of this blog and of the approximately 115+ bars reviewed since August 2011, about fifteen have been so categorized including Portland’ dives the Ship Tavern, Bar of the GodsJoe’s Cellar, the Yukon Tavern and Darwin’s Theory in Anchorage Alaska to name a few.

And up North - Darwin's Theory in Anchorage

And up North – Darwin’s Theory in Anchorage

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The Yamhill Pub in downtown Portland is the latest addition to the class, although I would submit that this historic bar may be submerged one additional step below “dive” to “grunge,” as discussed below.  In this scholarly discussion, I will first quote in full, the summary paragraph from Portland Barfly, because it so eloquently captures the “aura.”

“A genuine dive-bar lurking midst the downtown shopping arcade, the Yamhill Pub maintains an unreconstructed seediness through blaring juke, food…

Toilet No. 1

Bathroom No. 1

(and, for that matter, toilets) best avoided, actively-encouraged graffiti upon the smoke-stained walls, pennies-a-serving pitchers, and a fiercely-protective cadre of underemployed regulars (seniors, rockers, bike messengers) willing to throw themselves in front of Hummers to prevent the forces of gentrification. Intimidating for the first-time visitor, but that’s sort of the point.”

The bar at the Yamhill
The bar at the Yamhill

 And this excerpt from one of the Bar Fly reviewers in 2011 is edifying albeit puzzling,  “Yamhill IS the  bar in all of Portland, if not the world. I love it and will never stop drinking there.” 

 

You will not find the Yamhill Pub in the annual Willamette Week Bar Guide nor will it ever be one of the five Portland watering holes in Draft Magazine’s exclusive list of Best 100 Beer Bars in the United States

I visited the Yamhill three times – once with the Portland State University Athletic Department’s erstwhile, Denny Ferguson.  He also accompanied me at prior visits to the Cheerful Tortoise and The Cheerful Bullpen.  I also had an afternoon beer on my second visit with Merrill Lynch financial wizard, Mike Jones (also a Beerchaser at the Oregon Public House).

Beerchaser Regular - Dennis B. Ferguson (Fergy)
Beerchaser Regular – Dennis B. Ferguson (Fergy) with Thebeerchaser logo and PBR!

 

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Beerchaser and financial wizard, Mike Jones

 

 

 

 

 

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What “distinguishes” the Yamhill?

The Bathrooms – the bathrooms are most often characterized with adjectives similar to this description in 2010: “Bathrooms are disgusting,” and brought current by this Yelp reviewer in 2015: “The restrooms (were) just sick,” – both patrons evidently not disturbed by the fact that one of the heads has no lock on the door.

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Bathroom No. 2 - also no paradise!
Bathroom No. 2 – also no paradise!
These hieroglyphics are not of an intellectual bent...

These hieroglyphics are not of an intellectual bent…

The Graffitias you can see from the picture, every conceivable space in the one-room bar is covered with words and phrases accumulated through the years since it’s opening in 1939, and the same is true on the bathroom walls.

While some neat classic beers signs and one for Camel Cigarettes were displayed, there was a real paucity of the good memorabilia – okay junk – that typifies many dive bars and adds to the character because there are usually stories behind them.  Unfortunately, the graffiti, rather than offering the usual range of intellectual expressions and philosophical albeit trite drivel, was either indecipherable scribbling or obscenities ranging from one or two words to more graphic short phrases.  P1030321 P1030324

The only exception I found, notwithstanding a zealous search, was this truism which might be a suitable campaign slogan for Hillary Clinton:

“To be one with your weaknesses, is your greatest strength.”

And immediately below this phrase to add context –  if not a verifiable scientific hypothesis:  “You smell better when you are asleep.”

The Clientele – unlike a number of social media comments suggested, we did not find a group of hostile regulars who resent any new patron as an interloper. The approximately fifteen-seat bar was filled on each visit with a diverse group (male and female and a broad age demographic) ranging from tattooed punkers, a jovial drunk, some blue-collar serious beer drinkers to a few office workers – presumably downtown employees.

P1030325On my third and final visit over the lunch hour, I sat at the bar next to a guy who was on his second Rainier Tall Boy when I sat down.  After spilling a good part of the second can on the bar which went on to his t-shirt, he told me that he was “getting ready” for his 1:30 court appearance for second degree trespassing.  (I did not suggest to him that the judge was probably not going to be impressed with his pre-function.)

The bartender on each visit was friendly and his conversation with those at the bar was ongoing. Unfortunately, it was difficult to the point of unattainable to carry on a conversation because the rock music pumping out of the juke-box was so loud.

The Food and Beer – Most of the dive bars reviewed at least have decent grub which helps one appreciate the usual lack of selection of quality beers; however, at the Yamhill, there is a microwave for popcorn or for a limited menu of frozen “treats” such as wings, corn dogs, chicken strips or lasagna and mac & cheese (the latter two obviously to be avoided). Kevin, the owner and bartender, told me that you can also bring your own food in although besides a Subway and the YUMM Chinese restaurant, there’s not much near by.   (Warning – you might get beaten up if you bought food in a YUMM container.)

And by the way, don’t look for a website with their menu, the beers on tap or anything for that matter.  They do have a surprisingly decent selection of beer with ten on tap, including Blue Moon, Widmer Hefeweizen, Georgetown Porter, Oakshire Amber, Sam Adams Nitro Stout and Alameda’s Yellow Wolf Imperial IPA.  (Mike and I downed draft Blue Moons – as expected, the standard orange slice on our class was missing!)

The Standard at Yamhill!

No. 18 in North America in 2012!

Denny and I had PBR’s – $1.50 during Happy Hour and the bartender affirmed the astounding claim that the Yamhill is the top seller of PBR in Oregon (“We have four kegs of it on tap daily“).

Not only that, but at one time in the ’90’s they were #5 in North America!!  Before I could scoff, he pointed out this PBR sign from 2012 – Number 18 in North America in PBR sales.  Perhaps it’s the special they advertise “$3 for a pint of PBR and a shot of Old Taylor Whiskey.”

Thebeerchaser has used more quotes than typical in this post; however, they are so rich that they are worth sharing and it is fitting to close with the following two:

“The Yamhill Pub is a glorious sh*t crater. It’s a hole, a mess, a f*ing dive. The walls and floors and sundry surfaces are more graffiti-ed than not, and the pub certainly came by every squiggle honestly. Plastic cups do for the dirt-cheap well drinks, and the very idea of ordering any kind of cocktail seems vastly inappropriate. The only thing that clashes with the Yamhill’s perfect image of a dive is the surprisingly decent collection of taps. Even in the midst of punk squalor, Portlanders still demand a decent IPA. The Yamhill Pub is amazing. It’s perfect. Never go there. You’ll ruin it.”  (Joe Streckert – Portland Mercury)        

Any bets on the five-year scenario?

Any bets on the five-year scenario?

And this one from a regular I chatted with briefly about Thebeerchaser blog. He ended our conversation with the lament, “Mark my words, this place will be gone in five years and that will be a tragedy.”

Although the Yamhill Pub is a grunge pit – He’s correct.

The Yamhill Pub

223 SW Yamhill

Ecliptic Brewing – Shoot for the stars but settle for an earth orbit….

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This brew pub on the southern edge of N. Mississippi Avenue opened in October 2013 – a creation of John Harris, who has extensive (three decades) experience in the craft brewing industry starting with McMenamin’s (the first brewer to make Hammerhead), then Deschutes and Full Sail Breweries as brewmaster before opening his own venture.

AxialTiltObliquity

Would you rather discuss the obliquity of the axial tilt or just raise a mug?

The beers are named after stars and their website explains, “The name Ecliptic Brewing unites John’s two passions: brewing and astronomy and is the yearly path around the sun on planet Earth.” 

For the science geeks who want to get more serious, however, a more thorough definition is,The plane defined by the earth’s orbit projected onto the celestial sphere, along which the sun appears to move as viewed from the earth.” 

“Appears” is emphasized above because technically it is an illusion – to fully understand involves grasping the “obliquity of the ecliptic axial tilt” – a concept which would motivate most people to reach for several mugs of their excellent beer.

According to Willamette Week’s Art and Culture Editor, Martin Cizmar, in his 2/14 review,“It’s his (Harris’s) goal for Ecliptic to be considered among the top 100 restaurants in town, winning inclusion in either WW’s glossy Restaurant Guide or The Oregonian’s Diner.”  (The critic was not overly impressed with his food on his three visits and felt the ranking would be in the top 250 restaurants although most of the recent comments about the food in social media are positive.)

Our group sampling the food and beer after the walk around the neighborhood

Our group sampling the food and beer after the walk around the neighborhood

While they have celestial goals, the experience for us did not break into orbit.   The menu and the food were pretty good, and as expected, they brew some excellent beer.  However, after visiting over 100 bars, taverns and brewpubs on Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Portland, Bars, Taverns and Pubs in the last three years, I would suggest that decent food and good beer do not make up for a sterile environment – which lacks any ambiance – at least at this point.

Ecliptic is a former auto body shop, with picnic tables massed in an uncovered large concrete parking lot which slopes downhill.  As one Yelp reviewer recently opined, “I think the main thing holding this place back is the rather sterilized/antiseptic feeling the location gives. It’s a big space, but there doesn’t seem to be much character.”   (March 22, 2015)P1030302

The interior is also pretty barren – the kitchen is essentially integrated with the dining space – spacious, but the walls are stark and lights bright conveying a cafeteria-type feel.

That said, they have great sandwiches and salads.  The 1/2 pound Ecliptic Burger was delicious as was their grilled salmon sandwich and Caesar Salad.  The fries are plentiful and cheap.

P1030301P1030305

 

As would be expected, the beer is their strength and they have ten beers on tap at a very reasonable price ($4.75 for a 16 oz. pint).  Five of their beers were nominated for Willamette Week’s 2015 Beer Awards:

White Astroid Imperial Wit IPA – Best Hoppy Beer

Stellanova India Session Ale – Best Session Beer

Spica Hefepils – Best Lager

Perihelion Crimson Saison – Best of the Island of Misfit Beers

P1030303

A Galaxy of Good Beers

Oregon Live in an April, 2015 post, stated:  The newest addition to Ecliptic’s line of beers is named after the Helix Nebula, a large planetary nebula and sun-like star (also known as “The Eye of God”) located in the constellation Aquarius. Helix is a crisp and refreshing golden lager, dry hopped with Citra and Jarrylo hops for extra citrus, spice flavor and aroma. 

The servers were responsive and knowledgeable and Ecliptic is attempting to be creative and flexible – again quoting from their website:

“…..beer and food menus (will be) in constant change and rotation throughout the year. Our seasonal menu will rotate every 6 weeks on the old world calendar. Changes at Samhian, Winter Solstice, Bridgid, Spring Equinox, Beltane, Summer Solstice, Lammas and the Autumnal Equinox.”

Prost - good bier and a superior setting...

Prost – good bier and a superior setting…

So while Ecliptic does some things very well and is still a young establishment, Thebeerchaser’s inclination is to move several blocks up N. Mississippi Avenue and return to Prost – where one can also drink some excellent German beer and have comparable food, but raise your mug in a much superior setting – either in their interior which radiates warmth and character or on their attractive and covered wooden deck.

Or alternatively, pick up a bottle of one of the four Ecliptic offerings at the Belmont Station bottle shop and take it into the Belmont Bier Café and raise a mug with Beer Goddess, Lisa Morrison – both options more earthy and mundane than the stellar ambitions of Ecliptic.  Of course, one can also head out to Multnomah Village for the a nautical choice and dive bar ambiance at the Ship Tavern.

PBR rather than beers named after celestial bodies, but a down-to-earth clientele....

PBR rather than beers named after celestial bodies, but a down-to-earth clientele….

 

Ecliptic Brewing        825 North Cook Street

 

 

 

 

The Double Barrel Tavern – Take a Shot!

Have a Shot!!

Take a Shot!!

Marcus Archambeault and Warren Boothby are no strangers to the Portland bar scene….or Beerchaser followers.  They are the owners of two previously reviewed watering holes – Gold Dust Meridian (GDM 10/2012) and Club 21 (9/2014)  And for that matter, the prior count should be raised to three since they are “remaking” the classic dive bar Sandy Hut – more affectionately known to regulars of this historic bar as “The Handy Slut” – reviewed by Thebeerchaser in February of 2014.

And the Double Barrel, like their other establishments, has its own character and ambiance, differentiating it and making one want to return.

The Double Barrel - has its own identity

The Double Barrel – has its own identity – and so does Dave Hicks….

Joining me for my visit was Beerchaser Regular, “West Coast” Dave Hicks, Princeton undergrad, who went on to get his law degree and is now a San Francisco-based consultant in the legal industry.

The Double Barrel opened in February of 2014 in the historic building which previously housed the Seven Corners Bar and Grill and before that K.J’s, Wynner’s  and Dilly’s.  This excerpt from Portland Bar Fly.com describes the change well:

Formerly, Seven Corners, the GDM/Club 21 boys got themselves a new toy and man, are you gonna want to play with it!  An extensive remodel of the long malingering premises reveals the hundred year-old store front’s charming old bones, and dresses them up with a clever neo-vintage take on a Wild West saloon. Horseshoe bar with whiskey kegs holding up the booze and a rustic lodge-style fireplace add to the ambience. 

Named for Whiskey Barrels not the shot gun...
Named for Whiskey Barrels not the shot gun…

 And the two entrepreneurs also take into consideration the neighborhoods of their venues when making changes:

Consideration of both the interior and exterior of the bar

A great fireplace and mantle in the remade interior

“(One neighbor) was pleased with what the two had done with the Double Barrel bar at 21st and Division, and how they reverted the property back to some of its original luster. ‘We got a lot of inspiration from the old-schoolers in that neighborhood,’ says Archambeault. ‘We wanted to pay homage to the old Division by making a place that is a local place, an old-school place.'”

This is not just rhetoric based on a telephone conversation I had with Marcus about the work on the Double Barrel.  For example, the design in the floor is a septagram (seven-pointed star – a mural of sorts with seven stars surrounded by a circle).  “We wanted to honor the tradition and history of the Seven Corners – the name of the neighborhood based on the seven streets intersecting division in that vicinity.”

Recognizing the history of Seven Corners
Recognizing the history of Seven Corners

And then there’s the menu.   Each of their venues has it own specialties.  For example, at Club 21, we feasted on their “Build-a-Burger,” and at GDM we ordered seconds on the “Classic mac.”  The review from the Neighborhood Notes publication (3/27/2014) describes what holds court at the Double Barrel:

“Expect salads, snacks (tater tots, onion rings, hush puppies and gator bites), wings six ways, and eight signature burgers and sandwiches (including one called the Triple Threat that’s made with roasted pork loin, pulled pork and—because why not?—bacon)……”

Absolutely outstanding wings when we were there

Absolutely outstanding wings

Most of the social media reviews are positive such as this one from Yelp last December:  The juiciest (real meat not processed) hamburger cooked to perfection on the softest bun. The onion rings were so tasty and crispy. A 9 out of 10 – must try place…..” 

Menu specialty items...
Menu specialty items…

Not to belabor, but the $5 Single Barrel Burger was heralded during “Portland Burger Week” by the Portland Mercury in August 2014:

“…. a charred Painted Hills ground chuck patty with proper 80/20 juiciness. They throw on tender bacon and deep-fried jalapeño rings, then douse it with their killer creative masterstroke: a house-made spicy Southern pimento cheese that gets all the other ingredients in a line and creates a marriage ceremony “in your mouth.” 

Our own experience sampling the Happy Hour (an expansive 2:00 until 7:00 every day) options was really positive except for the Hush Puppies, which were soggy and flavorless.  That said, the fried cauliflower bites with pimento dip and the “little smokies” were scarfed up immediately and the delicious wings were already addressed.

10170744_682077521837835_1545290694_n facebook barSince Thebeerchaser’s passion is investigating the history, background and context of the bars visited, it is worth spending some more time on the thought process of Archambeault and Boothby in their work on the Double Barrel the end result of which is summarized aptly below in Willamette Weeks 2014 Bar Guide:

“But a month in, Double Barrel is classic in form, dim of light and somehow already aged into its space. It feels like yours the first damn time you walk in. Order a bourbon….. and drink to dear old dad.”

 I followed up with a telephone conversation with Marcus Archambeault on some of the specifics:

P1030232Beerchaser: “How did you come up with the name?”

MA: “Our corporate name is Double Barrel Inc. (May 2011 incorporation).  We also liked the double entendre – it references both the shotgun – consistent with the western theme of the bar and the barrels in which whiskey is aged and which are a feature in the bar.”

Beerchaser: “The long horseshoe bar is amazing and the whiskey barrels are a great touch.  Where did you get them?”

MA“We let the building speak to us.  We took the original bar and all the paneling and wood when we removed the dropped ceiling and restored to the original height.  It’s largely recycled from the original building.”

P1030241The whiskey barrels were obtained from the liquor store in Sellwood and we had to open up the slats to put them around the support beam and then put them back together – a tedious process!”

The games are a nice touch (darts, Big Buck HD and old-style pinball  – and DB is probably the only bar in town in which you will see an chicken and egg vending machine.

A prize inside??

A prize inside??

And since it is a bar, we should at least briefly address the beer, described by Willamette Week – again in its 2014 bar review:

“Double Barrel’s insistence on carrying not only Pabst and Oly, but also Hamm’s, Coors, Rainier, High Life and Tecate seems like an almost ham-fisted statement (Thebeerchaser strongly disagrees with this premise!), though there are also eight taps spouting local standards like Migration and Boneyard.” 

P1030242Dave Hicks had a Heater Allen Pilsner and I enjoyed a Commons Farmhouse Ale (Willamette Week’s 2013 Beer-of-the-Year) after I first hoisted a draft Hamms – in a “hamm-fisted” and rebellious manner!  They also had a cider on tap.

The Double Barrel is a great bar and another testament to Archambeault’s and Boothby’s vision and creativity – expect to see that imagination in the revitalized Sandy Hut when it reopens in May.

Dave Hicks and friendly bartender, Jesse - worked at the DB since its opening

Dave Hicks and friendly bartender, Jesse – worked at the DB since its opening

And finally, since it has been quite awhile since you have seen a bar joke in a Beerchaser post, it is only fitting with the theme of the Double Barrel that you are offered these to old western gems (with apologies):

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, why the long face?”

 A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for the guy who shot my paw!”

Bars and Taverns – the center of stories and jokes for centuries

 

The Double Barrel Tavern

2002 SE Division Street    Portland

 

Lisa Morrison – The Beer Goddess – Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter

Lisa Morrison - Beer Goddess and outstanding human being!
Lisa Morrison – Beer Goddess and outstanding human being!

 “Lisa Morrison is first and foremost, a great human being.  She also happens to be a beer industry visionary and leader, who wrote the book (literally) on the Oregon craft beer scene.”  Dr. Sam Holloway, University of Portland School of Business Administration Professor and craft brewing consultant.

Former Oregon State and NFL defensive tackle, Craig Hanneman, on Mt. Everest climb

Former Oregon State and NFL defensive tackle, Craig Hanneman, on Mt. Everest climb

Thebeerchaser each quarter recognizes an individual or group that in his sole discretion, deserves recognition for contributing to humanity – regardless of whether it has anything to do with beer or bars.

Bronze Star Awardees (and Beerchasers-of-the-Quarter) Steve Lawrence and Jud Blakely
Bronze Star Awardees (and Beerchasers-of-the-Quarter) Steve Lawrence and Jud Blakely

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Past recipients have been authors such as Dr. Harry Frankfurt (On Bullshit) or Portland’s own Brian Doyle (Mink River and The Plover), athletes such as former All-coast and then NFL tackle, Craig “The Dude” Hanneman and Viet Nam veterans and heroes, Jud Blakely and Steve Lawrence.

Thebeerchaser and the Beer Goddess with her book

Thebeerchaser and the Beer Goddess with her book

The new Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter, however, is all about beers and bars.  Lisa Morrison, more commonly known as The Beer Goddess is a Northwest institution.

Before telling you about Lisa, who my wife and I met at one of her book-signings and I subsequently interviewed at Belmont Station (she is now the co-owner), I will confess that my experience with Goddesses is very limited.

The late Tom Nutter, my sophomore literature teacher at Oregon City High School in 1963, introduced our class to mythology.  We read with trepidation, of the anger and retribution of mythical females such as Hera (“who turned a competitor into a crane and proclaimed that her bird descendants should wage eternal war on the Pygmy folk.”)  Or consider the Moirai who “were usually described as cold, remorseless and unfeeling, and depicted as old crones or hags.” (Wikipedia)

Unfortunately, we did not study two that are relevant to this blog:

Sekhmet - the Egyptian Beer Goddess - not covered in Mr. Nutter's class

Sekhmet – the Egyptian Beer Goddess – not covered in Mr. Nutter’s class

“The immense blood-lust of the fierce lioness (Egyptian) goddess  Sekhmet – only sated after she was tricked into consuming an extremely large amount of red-colored beer: she became so drunk that she gave up slaughter altogether and became docile.” Wikipedia

or

Ninkasi…..the goddess of brewing or alcohol, born of “sparkling-fresh water”. (Wikipedia)

The contemporary Ninkasi...

The contemporary Ninkasi…

 ——-

My next exposure to a Greek goddess – defined, as a woman idolized or adored by a man,”  was at a sorority house dance when I saw Oregon State cheerleader, Pi Beta Phi sorority coed and future New York model, Kathy Loughry  – unfortunately for OSU males, she was already the steady girlfriend of Bobby Mayes, the second-string OSU quarterback.

But we digress

A definitive work by the Beer Goddess

A definitive work by the Beer Goddess

I was therefore enthused when earlier this year, Lisa Morrison, gave an informative and entertaining talk about the NW craft industry, signed her book, Craft Beers  of the Pacific Northwest:  A Beer Lover’s Guide to Oregon, Washington and British Columbia and agreed to let me interview her and add the “honor” of ”Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter” to her distinguished resume.

Lisa and I then met at Belmont Station – she became the co-owner of this bar in 2013 – a venue which has been repeatedly named by Draft Magazine as one of “America’s Top 100 Beer Bars” (six of those are in Portland).   Thebeerchaser reviewed the bar in 2012, but there have been some changes which will be covered below. (Click this link for the prior review)

One of America's Hundred Best Beer Bars

One of America’s Hundred Best Beer Bars

Lisa was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma and received her high school and college education in Colorado, the latter at Colorado State University in Fort Collins – now home to the New Belgium Brewing Co. and a lot of great bars and pubs.  After graduation, she served as a television news reporter and anchor and moved to Oregon in 1989, where she went to work for KOIN TV and became their webmaster.

lisa at microphone

It’s Beer O’clock!! (Courtesy of Ginger Johnson and Women Enjoying Beer (http://www.womenenjoyingbeer.com/)

——-

In the late ‘90’s, after negotiating with the station, she started writing a column too – “First Draft,” picked up the rights to the URL “Beer Goddess” and started an hour-long weekly radio show – “Beer O’Clock,” which continued until early in 2015.  Sam Holloway, who is recognized nationally for his consulting work in the brewing industry, described her broadcasts by stating:

“The Beer Goddess and Beer O’clock Radio give an authentic and incredibly knowledgeable voice to the craft beer industry. Not only does Lisa know her stuff, but the lineup of experts on her show, each week, gives anyone with a passion for craft beer access to the best and brightest minds in the industry.”  

Two years ago, the owner of Belmont Station approached her about a partnership in the well-known bar and bottle shop and she became the majority owner.  Her writing and management responsibilities precluded continuing the radio show.

Lisa describes researching and writing her book in which she did all the work on her own as “a labor of love.”  For example, she stayed in Seattle for five days and moved into different hotels so she could walk – not drive – to the different brew-pubs she reviewed.   She talked to hundreds of beer drinkers around the region.

Lisa, autographing her "labor of love."

Lisa, autographing her “labor of love.”

Her book was labeled by one reviewer as “the standard-bearer” and Fred Eckhardt, Dean of American Beer Writers, stated:

“Lisa, true Beer Goddess, is one of our country’s foremost beer and brewing authorities….Now her tremendous knowledge can help you enjoy the very best of our Northwest accomplishments.”

Lisa has had a busy career – she wrote for nationally syndicated publications, became the first female recipient of the national Beer Journalism Awards by the Brewers’ Association and also founded the Portland Beer Week, the Oregon Craft Beer Month and FredFest (named in honor of the aforementioned Dean of Beers)

P1030286

Belmont Station – both a bottle shop and a bar – and remember, it’s on Stark Stree!

The Beer Goddess is now focused on Belmont Station, which is appropriate given its reputation in the region.  Opened in 1997, it was originally on NE Belmont Street next to the famous Horse Brass Pub.

They outgrew the quarters and moved to the present Stark Street location – keeping the original name – eventually expanding from five taps to twenty-one rotating draft beers including their own Barley Brown’s Belmont Black plus three ciders.  (While interviewing her, I contentedly consumed a pint of Oakshire Perfect Storm IPA.)   If you can’t decide on one brew, try the “Flight of the Day” – four different selections for $13.

Susan, bar tender at Belmont Station with Lisa and Thebeerchaser logo

Susan, bartender at Belmont Station with Lisa and Thebeerchaser logo

 

The adjacent bottle shop which is connected to the bar has over 1,300 beers and ciders from around the globe.  If you want to drink a beer not available on tap, just buy it at the bottle shop and use their chiller at the bar for a minimal $1.50 cappage fee.   If you prefer wine, try a Shiraz, Cabernet Sauvignon or Chardonnay for $5 per glass.

Try one of the 1,300 bottled beers from around the world.

Try one of the 1,300 bottled beers from around the world.

 

Other changes include a new back patio and expanded covered area adjacent to the Italian Market food cart – you can bring your order into the bar or alternatively munch on the pretzels, potato chips or Sriracha cheese puffs on the Belmont menu.

Expanded back room and patio

Expanded back room and patio

 

 

Lisa has seen the incredible growth to what is now a $2.83 billion Oregon industry employing close to 30,000 people and she’s witnessed the rapid change – even in the name from micro-brews to craft beer.   Portland alone now has 53 breweries – more than any city on the globe.

I asked if we are at the saturation point and she replied in the negative citing the approximately 10,000 now operating in the United States – less per capita than at the start of Prohibition!

Lisa looking out of beer machineLisa Morrison has earned the name Beer Goddess and her statement below validates that title:

“(Beer is) not just a beverage.  It’s our social lubricant.  Especially in Portland, it’s a thread of our community that is so important.”

And when we initially discovered that we both knew Dr. Sam Holloway, I said, “Lisa, it’s a small world,” to which she immediately responded, “No Don.  It’s a large brew pub!”

So stop by Belmont Station, have a brewski and say hello to the Beer Goddess, the first Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter in 2015.  It’s too bad she wasn’t around in 399 BC to promote her craft.  Perhaps Socrates would have decided to consume a Dead Guy Ale rather than drinking the hemlock!

Susan at the Belmont Station bar

Susan at the Belmont Station bar

An extensive history of rotating taps

An extensive history of rotating taps

 

 Belmont Station

4500 SE Stark Street

Portland, Oregon

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Beerchaser Miscellany – College Bars and College Professors……

   Best College Bars

Number 19 on the Top 25 College Bars

Number 19 on the Top 25 College Bars

Last falI, I posted some pictures and information from our trip to Colorado.  One of the bars we visited was The Sink – an historic dive bar (Thebeerchaser Does Colorado – Part II) in Boulder, near the campus of the University of Colorado.

It was recently selected as one of the “Top 25 College Bars in America.”  Some under-achieving college student may have toured the country developing this list for The Daily Meal, but The Sink, a ninety-three year old watering hole for CU students should clearly be on this list.

The Sink interior

The Sink interior

As described by Dr.Thomas Noel in his book, A Liquid History & Tavern Guide to the Highest State:

“During the 1960’s and 1970’s when I was at CU, students sat around here in puddles of beer, smoked pot, and watched Batman and Star Trek…..Mobs of students consumed oceans of beer by the quart. 

After a 1995 restoration, the reincarnated Sink still lives in this two-story house with a tacked-on storefront. Among gobs of graffiti, the place’s crowning achievement is a re-creation of Michelangelo’s The Creation of Man, with God holding down a Sinkburger to Sink Rats in the “Sink-stine Chapel.”

 You Probably Don’t Want to Take a Class or Have a Beer with This Guy!

And while we are on the subject of higher education, it is fitting to revisit another topic addressed briefly in this blog in May 2013, in an excerpt entitled, Emotional Disequilibrium, Rotating Metaphors and ‘On Bullshit.’”  I took exception to what I viewed as extremely pretentious behavior by one, Dr. David Shields, an author and literature professor at the University of Washington.

The Quad at the University of Washington - a great institution of learning

The Quad at the University of Washington – a great institution of learning

Now UW is a great institution – one of the finest on the West Coast (both my oldest daughter and son-in-law are alums….), but a quote from an interview in which the good professor was quoted astounded me:

 “What I am good at, I think, I hope, is meditating with rigor and candor on my emotional disequilibrium and trying to rotate that out as metaphor so it comes to feel, God forbid, somewhat universal and it makes the reader feel as Phillip Lopate says, ‘less freakish and more human.’”   (For the unwashed, Phillip Lopate is a writer, media critic and professor of English at Hofstra University.)

Here’s a more recent Shields quote:

“So many of these formal gestures seem to me a way to get beyond self. I marry the self, through braided collage gestures, to the cultural warp and woof. That seems to me one of collage’s blessings, its potential for multiplicity of investigative modes…..”

Dr. Shields is no slouch – he graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Brown and has written fifteen books – one of which made the New York Times best-seller list and has received numerous writing awards.  But I would suggest that the good professor’s humility quotient needs to increase.  He appears to validate the premise put forth by one scholar – possibly a classic Greek philosopher:  “A damned fool with a Ph.D., is still a damned fool!”

To validate my visceral reaction, I checked out some of the student reviews of their esteemed lecturer.  For example, one student wrote:  “I never got the impression that he actually wanted to be there, or had any interest in helping students improve, and certainly didn’t seem to want to actually read any student writing. He only wants you to listen in awe while he muses about why fiction is so useless. He thinks everything he has to say about writing is gospel and it gets old fast.”

On Bullshit - A Wonderful Book by another Academician from Princeton

On Bullshit – A Wonderful Book by another Academician from Princeton

A quote from Princeton Emeritus Professor Dr. Harry Frankfurt, author of the brilliant book, On Bullshit, who I named as January 2012 Beerchaser-of-the-Month, seems appropriate to describe the above statements by Dr. Shields:

When we characterize talk as hot air, we mean that what comes out of the speaker’s mouth is only that. It is mere vapor.  His speech is empty, without substance or content.  His use of language accordingly does not contribute to the purpose it purports to serve.”   

Dr. Frankfurt - an educator who could filter the hot air

Dr. Frankfurt – an educator and author who could filter the hot air

 

———

This is not to suggest that I have a problem with academicians.  I have had some wonderful professors both at Oregon State and at Portland State.  I even singled out my graduate school Public Finance professor at PSU – Dr. John Walker, as the Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter in June 2012, for his dry wit and pithy statements.  I learned a bunch in his class and loved going to his lectures for such gems as:

“It’s much more economically efficient to bury people vertically rather than horizontally.”

Dr. John Walker - An economist with a sense of humor and common sense

Dr. John Walker – An economist with a sense of humor and common sense

“It is my opinion that we could lower the defense budget to zero and the Russians would not attack….However the Mexicans would.”

Under the Oregon fraternal organization statutes, something has to be given to charity each year to be exempt from property taxes.  The law doesn’t say how much — all  you have to do is give $1 to any deserving midget once per year.  When the Department of Revenue conducts an audit and asks what your charity is, the organization simply replies, ‘Marvin.’”

Dr. Melody Rose - President of Marylhurst University and former Oregon Chancellor of Higher Education

Dr. Melody Rose – President of Marylhurst University and former Oregon Chancellor of Higher Education

Two Ph.D.’s – both the current and a former President of Marylhurst UniversityDr. Melody Rose and Dr. Nancy Wilgenbusch – with whom I have raised a mug and martini, respectively – on multiple occasions are shining examples.  They are leaders who have not only risen in the academic world, but are educators who convey their wisdom clearly and articulately – even in casual conversations over a beer or cocktail.

Dr. Nancy Wilgenbusch - President Emeritus of Marylhurst U and sought after corporate board member

Dr. Nancy Wilgenbusch – President Emeritus of Marylhurst U and sought after corporate board member

Back to Dr. Shields – well, his ostentatious style appears to continue – at least as opined by one 1/27/15 review in The Stranger – a weekly Seattle newspaper, who takes issue with Dr. Shields’ latest book I Think You are Totally Wrong. as evidenced in the following excerpt from his scathing review:

“…A handful will swoon over his genius, but more likely you’ll hear a rant about his endless lectures, which my many accounts are packed with self-promotion, name dropping and smug proclamations.”

“The most unbelievable aspect of (this new book) is that everyone involved in its publication somehow thought it was worthy of publication.”

“Shields and (his co-author) simply talk for a little over 250 pages.  One man is the closest thing to a celebrity you’ll find in academic circles; the other is a failed writer……….(The book) serves as a blooper reel of 21st century literature failings, with its elevation of two privileged white dudes talking about beer and pop culture, its mistaken belief that a postmodern acceptance of your own flaws somehow serves as absolution for them.”         

Students are good at measuring this factor....

Students are good at measuring this factor….

Perhaps an apology should be forthcoming for my rant, and it may be an overreaction, but there are shining examples of university faculty who are both brilliant teachers and good writers – who have a sense of humor and a refreshing perspective that motivates students.

University of Portland's Portland Magazine

Portland Magazine

If you want an example, just read Portland, the award-winning quarterly magazine of the University of Portland edited by Portland author, Brian Doyle Contrast David Shield’s writing with a brief excerpt from a wonderful essay entitled, “What is Quantum Mechanics?” by Dr. Max Schlosshauer, professor of physics at UP:

“Quantum mechanics also made me a humble scientist, because it tells me that while nature may at some point be fully describable, nature will never be fully knowable

But quantum mechanics is also emporwering for it tells us that our interaction with the world – our choice of which door to open, which question to ask – brings forth genuinely new events that were in no way determined by anything that has gone before.  And thus every one of our actions helps write nature’s eternally unfinished story.” 

Scientist (and writer) Dr. Max Schlosshauer

Scientist (and writer) Dr. Max Schlosshauer

This is the kind of guy with whom you want to have a draft PBR at the Twilight Room near the UP campus or, heaven forbid (for a political science major) even audit one of his courses!

A toast to Quantum Mechanics from a Beaver

A toast to Quantum Mechanics from a Beaver

 

 

 

 

 

And perhaps if Dr. David Shields is tired of teaching, he should focus on just being an author and attending book signings.   There are evidently many individuals more intelligent and cultured than Thebeerchaser who love his writing, but Abe Lincoln’s quote summarizes this reader’s opinion:

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”