Welcome back to Thebeerchaser.  If you are seeing this post through an e-mail, please visit the blog by clicking on the title above to see all of the photos at the end of the post and so the narrative isn’t clipped or shortened. External photo attribution at the end of the post.

Since I periodically swerve from this blog’s main focus – review of a particular bar or brewery – you might expect a few comments about both the NCAA Men’s and Women’s Final Four Basketball spectacle, but that’s not the case except for a minor observation or two below.

No, my title is because notwithstanding many regional, national and international concerns and challenges which are vexing and depressing, I’m going to end the month chiefly focusing on the positive.  

A primary factor is that on March 29th, I celebrate our 44th anniversary with my wonderful spouse, Janet.  From the time I first laid eyes on her at a 1979 meeting of the Oregon City Planning Commission. I chaired that body, she served as the City’s Neighborhood Involvement Coordinator, and ever since, I’ve been blessed by her companionship, patience and affection.

Busier than a Urologist in March

A slight alternation of the term for the annual March tournament was coined several years ago. “Vas Madness” refers to the demand for appointments for vasectomies right before the Final Four so the male patient can cite doctor’s orders that:

“During the (recovery period) patients are under strict medical orders to rest and avoid strenuous activity while periodically icing the groin area. With all that free time to lounge around, men are likely to want to have something planned.”

It’s explained very well in a USA Today article “Vasectomies and March Madness: How marketing led the ‘vas madness’ myth to become reality.”  And it’s fascinating to do a Google search on “vas madness.”  Numerous urological clinics cheerfully (and aggressively) advertise. Look at this one by the Central Indiana Urological Group:

“Ready for some exciting basketball? We’ve got your assist: Vas Madness”

And the Oregon Urology Institute, in my own state, helpfully offers:

“5 Reasons to Plan Your Vasectomy During March Madness”

The most gripping – “Score a free T-shirt” – with a slogan “Lower your seed…Snip City 2024”  (#1 – #2)

If you are a Bloody Mary fan, you might also want to stock up on ice as it becomes a “groin concern” and might be in limited supply.

And Just in Case

Those who might need it, but understandably are somewhat reluctant to have the procedure, could well take the admonition of this sign recently posted on the wonderful Facebook page of the group American Saloons, Bars & Taverns:    (#3)

Reaffirming Optimism in Portland’s Old Town

In my last blog post entitled Optimism in Old Town, I enthusiastically set forth the positive steps that owner, Adam Milne has recently taken to demonstrate his commitment to a Portland recovery. 

His “Believe in Portland” campaign has gained traction and there are more indications that Portland businesses and leaders are working to regain the City’s reputation as a wonderful place to both live and visit.

I was therefore glad (remember the theme of this post) to see a headline in yesterday’s local news: “$2 million to go to transforming Portland’s Old Town vacant buildings into fashion manufacturing facility.”  KGW.com

“If approved by the governor, the money will go to the Old Town Community Association, part of a group that wants to bring manufacturing, housing, and office and retail space to the district on the northern edge of downtown.” Oregon Live  (#4 – #6)

There are multiple issues for Portland to overcome, however, as an article just today, in the Oregonian reports:

“Portland’s central city had the highest office vacancy rate of the 50 largest downtown office markets in the country by the end of last year, according to a report by real estate firm Colliers.”  (#7)

And the homeless quandary seems staggering although Portland voters and the various levels of government have approved substantial financial resources to address the problem. 

Why Can’t We Just Get Along and Get Something Done??

The City of Portland, after a successful ballot measure, is restructuring its governing and management organization. It’s a massive transition that would be a challenge for any entity, but the efforts have not been smooth to date.  

And notwithstanding the available funds, the homeless plight continues with improvements at what many consider to be a glacial pace.

We watch the City of Portland and the Multnomah County fighting over policy and jurisdiction with a multitude of non-profits gumming up the works and adding to the acrimony. (#8 – #9)

Voters have approved money and changes to restore Portland, but that sinking feeling of despair returns when reviewing the recent announcement of the Joint City of Portland – Multnomah Homeless Response Action Plan – chronicled as a major step forward.

An Astute Reaction

Jack Bogdanski, is a professor of tax law at Lewis and Clark Law School in Portland. He graduated from Stanford Law School as a member of the distinguished Order of the Coif.

“He is a five-time winner of Lewis & Clark’s Leo Levenson Award for excellence in law teaching. He supervises the school’s tax moot court team, which has won national honors, and he founded and runs a volunteer clinic to assist international students with U.S. tax issues.” (#10)

Now taxation may sound rather boring, but the erstwhile academician is also an inveterate blogger and one of the most prolific and entertaining in the Northwest.

Check out the insightful excerpt from his post “It’s Hopeless,” below and you’ll understand why the announcement from the City/County group should be met with disdain.

“I see that the lame duck mayor of Portland and the queen of the Multnomah County commission held another one of their bizarre press conferences about the city’s street crisis yesterday. They’re very big on the media photo ops. They had an almost identical one in December.

At that point, they were bragging about a framework for a draft of a plan for some programs. Yesterday they had moved from the framework to the draft. So now we’ve made it all the way to the draft of the plan for some programs. It took only three months. You wonder how many junkies, and small businesses, died in that span of time.

And if you think the wait was bad, you probably don’t want to look at what we were waiting for. Forty-seven pages of bureaucratic word salad. The content is so bad, it’s almost a parody. Turn any page and you find stuff like:  (#11)

‘The Homelessness Response Action Plan creates new governance and accountability structures to allow decision-makers to set goals, objectives and the budgets needed to achieve outcomes. It creates a co-governance model in the Steering and Oversight Committee to identify responsibilities, coordination and goals.

Under that committee, it calls for an Implementation Sub-Committee to track progress, identify challenges, collaborate and hold one another accountable to solutions.

And it assembles a robust Community Advisory Sub-Committee to elevate the issues of those across the spectrum of providers, partners and impacted stakeholders to offer their input on goals and solutions and other kinds of feedback…..”

Edwin Newman and Schu Would be Appalled.

The last two years of my seven-year tenure for Clackamas County, I was an Administrative Analyst for the three-member County Commission. My job was to write memos, press releases and various missives as well as financial analysis.

And the late Commissioner Robert Schumacher, as Chair of the Commission, was my primary boss. Schu, went out on a political limb to hire two young guys to help formulate budgets and perform a variety of organizational tasks for a county that was sorely lacking in best practices.  

Mike Bateson and I promptly became known as “The Whiz Kids” – I like to think with a certain amount of bemused affection from our colleagues in County Counsel and various Departments.

Bob “Schu” Schumacher graduated from Lewis and Clark Law School and had a better grasp of the Oregon land-use system implemented in 1973 with passage of Senate Bill 100, than almost any elected official in Oregon. Having served several terms as Clackamas County Clerk, he was also an expert at Oregon Election Law.

Besides that, Schu had a remarkable and acerbic sense of humor that helped mitigate the stress of local government work. He was a superb and gifted elected official.

Although he was my boss, we became good friends and he served as an usher in our 1980 wedding. After several terms on the Commission, he left to work on the Oregon Governor’s staff. He passed away far too young.

Now before you think I’m straying too far afield, the preceding narrative is appropriate because consistent with the theme of this post, I will be forever glad that I spent two years working for this consummate elected official.

Schu was also a student of the language and we used to have shots of bourbon in his office after hours and laugh at the brilliant books of Edwin Newman, American newscaster, journalist, and author.  He wrote both Strictly Speaking: Will America be the Death of English? and a Civil Tongue.  (#12)

I still remember during budget hearings averting my gaze from Schu to avoid laughing when a Department Head would use a redundancy such as “free gratis” or state in a subdued tone, “Just between you and I,” use the term “hopefully” or end a sentence with a preposition.

And Newman would go nuts if he saw the quote from the Homeless Action Plan release above.  As he once asked rhetorically: 

“Is the design and implementation of pragmatic interfaces’ something we want to happen? I’m not sure.”  Washington Post

(I should note that I’m leaving myself as a target, because I’m sure I’ve committed some linguistic or grammatical gaffes in this post. My friend, lawyer and legal consultant, R.W.(Hap) Ziegler, who scrutinizes (nitpicks?) each one for errors and will e-mail me within ten minutes after it is published. Since I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I also welcome his inspection.)

And Finally – Don’t Forget Dr. Harry Frankfurt

I have written several posts including “BS Revisited – If Only I had Known in 2012!” about the brilliant book On Bullshit by the late Harry Frankfurt, Professor Emeritus of Philosophy at Princeton University. (#13)

The good professor would use the “BS” label to describe both the written and the spoken word and this excerpt seems fitting to describe the author of the above press release:

“When we characterize talk as hot air, we mean that what comes out of the speaker’s mouth is only that. It is mere vapor. His speech is empty, without substance or content. His use of language accordingly does not contribute to the purpose it purports to serve. 

No more information is communicated than if the speaker had merely exhaled. There are similarities between hot air and excrement, incidentally, which make hot air seem an especially suitable equivalent for bullshit.

Just as hot air is speech that has been emptied of all informative content, so excrement is matter from which everything nutritive has been removed.”

Enough said!

Farewell Malachy McCourt

I wrote about Malachy’s Bar in New York City in my February post “Don’t Jump When You Can Dive – Part III”.  I had also recently featured former Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter, Jay Waldron who after he saw the post commented:

“Was Malachy’s named after Malachy McCourt? He was a full-of-shit Irishman who played rugby and drank with me in NYC in the late 60’s and I also had a pint with his more famous author/brother Frank in McSorleys , my then favorite NYC bar. Jay”

The answer to Jay’s question was affirmative. McCourt was, indeed, a rugby player who owned  Malachy’s Irish Pub on West 72nd Street. (#14 – #15)

Well, thirty-one days after I wrote about McCourt and Malachy’s Irish Pub, Jay sent me this link to the Washington Post obituaries:

“Malachy McCourt, raconteur of the Irish experience in America, dies at 92”

Cheers! (#16)

External Photo Attribution

#1.  Wikimedia Commons (File:Kansas Jayhawks Open Practice at the 2016 March Madness Opening Rounds (25817826036).jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: Phil Roeder from Des Moines, IA – 16 March 2016.

#2. Wikimedia Commons (File:Rtu.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: Ramonduran – 28 June 2001.

#3. Facebook Page of Amercian Saloon, Bars and Taverns  (https://www.facebook.com/groups/AmericanSaloons).

$4 #5.  Old Town Brewing Web Site (https://www.otbrewing.com/shop) 

#6.  Wikimedia Commons (File:Portland, Oregon sign + Old Town tower, 2012.JPG – Wikimedia Commons)  Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Author: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Another_Believer – 8 January 2012.

#7. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons – PacWest Center (icensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license.  Author: Cacophony 18 June 2006.

#8. Wikimedia Commons (File:Ted Speech.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Author: Hcraddock – 5 December 2015.

#9. Wikimedia Commons (File:Jessica Vega Pederson.png – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: MetroEast Community Media – 30 October 2017.

#10. Lewis and Clark Law School Website (https://law.lclark.edu/live/profiles/295-john-bogdanski).

#11. City of Portland Website (Portland, Multnomah County announce Homelessness Response Action Plan | Portland.gov).

#12. Wikimedia Commons (File:Edwin Newman in 1975.jpg – Wikimedia Commons)  This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published in the United States between 1929 and 1977, inclusive, without a copyright notice.  Author: NBC -12 December 1975.

#13.  Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Harry_Frankfurt_at_2017_ACLS_Annual_Meeting.jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: American Council of Learned Societies (ACLS) 20 October 2018.

#14. Wikimedia Commons (Malachy_McCourt_3_by_David_Shankbone.jpg (2265×1913) (wikimedia.org) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Author: David Shankbone – 30 March 2007.

#15.  Malachy Irish Pub Website Photo Gallery (https://www.malachysirishpub.com/gallery).

#16. Illustration courtesy of Pam Williams.