Merry Christmas from Thebeerchaser – Beerchaser Miscellany VI

The perfect bicycle for one who has everything

The perfect bicycle for one who has everything

Last Minute Christmas Shopping – If you have not found that perfect present, why not consider the bicycle in the above photo.  This is one of over 40 bicycles featured in the Portland Art Museum’s exhibit, “Cyclepedia,”  earlier this year.  Each represented different structures, materials and functions for bicycles from the 1920’s to contemporary design.

The exhibit “….included racing, mountain, single speed, touring, tandem, urban, folding, cargo, curiosities, and children’s bicycles.”  Portland was the only city in the US to host this exhibit, in part, because of the affection Portlanders have for bicycles and the number of cyclists per capita – reportedly, the highest in the US.

The bike above was Thebeerchaser’s favorite for obvious reasons.  Can you imagine touring on this mobile platform which has a keg, a tap and undoubtedly a holder for a glass of your favorite microbrew.

Scales of Justice

A Good and Zany Read – Given that before retiring, Thebeerchaser spent almost forty years of his career working with lawyers, I confess that I still enjoy the American Bar Association Weekly Journal (on-line) each week.

It has a listing of interesting cases, and includes the zany and bizarre judicial matters that pop up regularly. And while the sample below may strain credibility, anyone who has worked in the legal environment can attest that they occur:

3/27/13 –Man stranded on Disney’s ‘It’s a Small World’ ride, wins pain and suffering damages.”

7/26/13 – Banned from campus over ‘Hot for Teacher’ essay, college student loses free speech suit.”

11/5/13 – “Lawsuit for traffic stop resulting in 3 enemas, 2 X-rays and 1 colonoscopy in cops’ fruitless search.”

I love lawyers and they are, in general, a very smart, dedicated, competitive group of professionals, but the work environment breeds some interesting results:

7/10/13 – “Lawyer leaves $200K Ferrari in floodwaters to make it to hearing on time.”

9/16/13 – “Attorney who billed for 29-hour day, did the work, his lawyers says.” This one reminded me of the Wall Street associate in the ’70’s who wanted the record for billing the most legitimate hours in his firm, so worked a 24-hour day and then continued his work on a plane flight to Los Angeles for an actual 27 hour billable day.

12/9/13 – “Unwitting lawyer is suspended for arranging client loans to secure Nigerian inheritance.”

And finally, if you or a relative is considering law school as a career option, you  might want to check out this post from December 9th:

“One law school’s credit rating drops to junk-bond status.”

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Lighter face beerchaser headerThebeerchaser Logo – A New Look – Let’s raise a $2 mug of PBR to Jud Blakely, who designed the new logo you now see as the background or header for this blog.

Followers of this blog will remember that my SAE fraternity brother, Jud, was Thebeerchaser-of-the-Quarter (September 16, 2103 post ) where I saluted him for his heroism in Viet Nam (Bronze Star with Combat V and Purple Heart) and his subsequent exploits – as a member of The Gulf Coast Humanities Consortium, on the executive staff at Tri-Met, as a communications consultant, on the basketball court, etc. etc.

1965 Bronze Star Award Ceremony for Captain Blakely USMC
1965 Bronze Star Award Ceremony for Captain Blakely USMC

He obviously has developed new talents in the technology area.  Thanks Jud.

—————

The Yard House – Coming to Portland — While in Seattle, my wife and I dined in the new restaurant/bar that replaced the Borders store near Westlake Plaza.  Reportedly, one is in the works for Pioneer Square in Portland.

Would you believe over 100 beers on tap??

Would you believe over 125 beers on tap??

While Thebeerchaser typically avoids restaurants rather than a single purpose bar or tavern, this one was notable because it had over 125 beers and hard ciders on tap.

And that doesn’t count some of the seasonal specials such as the Sam Adams Merry Maker that I tested and thought was a winner. (“Heartiness of dark roasted malts and a touch of wheat.  But it’s the intensity and spices of cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, & ginger that add a wicked kick for a jolly playful brew full of merry mischief.”

The "hydraulics" to get the brew from the kegs to the taps would be a good science project....
The “hydraulics” to get the brew from the kegs to the taps would be a good science project….

And the interior was fascinating“The glass-enclosed keg room is essentially the pulse of the operation housing as much as 5,000 gallons of beer at a time. Three to five miles of individual beer lines stretch overhead from the keg room to the island bar maintaining a constant temperature.”

The menu was robust and there was not an empty seat in the restaurant or bar.  Stay tuned for the Portland opening.

—————–

Joe’s Cellar Moves Up –  We are pleased to report that one of our two favorite dive bars – the other being The Ship Tavern (December 10, 2012 post) in Multnomah – reopened this summer.

Joe’s Cellar, originally opening in 1941 and a great watering hole in the NW Industrial District (they had a Happy Hour at 7 A.M. for the workers getting off the night shift) had building structural issues that caused Multnomah County building officials to shut it down earlier this year.

Moving Up.......

Moving Up…….Step Up to Joe’s Cellar

Fortunately it is now back under new ownership and as Thebeerchaser advised you in the September 17, 2011 post, “Step Up to Joe’s Cellar.”

——————

Bar Jokes – We can’t end the year without at least one or two of our favorite bar jokes – the first from The Oregonian’s Edge column:

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “You got any bread?”

Bartender “No.”

Duck: “You got any bread?”

Bartender (looking annoyed): “No!!”

Duck: “You got any bread?”

Bartender: “No – and if you ask one more time, I’m going to nail your bill to the bar!”

Duck: “You got any nails?”

Bartender: “No.”

Duck: “You got any bread…??

######

guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar — He really hurts himself…….

————–

Lumpy's Landing - a delightful dive on Highway 18 on the way to the Oregon Coast
Lumpy’s Landing – a delightful dive on Highway 18 on the way to the Oregon Coast

How Cold Was It……? – Sign outside the door of Lumpy’s Landing – a wonderful dive bar in Dundee, Oregon.

This is the tavern where the original idea for Thebeerchaser Tour of Bars, Taverns and Pubs, originated while I was eating natchos and drinking a Budweiser on the way to the beach:

lumpy's sign

How Cold Was It??

—————-

Most Outlandish Simile:  And finally, while having written over sixty reviews of bars since Thebeerchaser blog commenced in August of 2011, I understand that sometimes “writer’s block” can shroud one’s brain like a San Francisco fog. 

However, a critique of the El Modernito Restaurant/bar by Martin Cizmar, a reporter for Willamette Week (which is a good resource for this blog and usually has informative and reliable reviews) contained what is probably one of the most pretentious and/or ridiculous descriptions of a cocktail, ever to hit print:

“Oh, but the chorizo and cocktails.  They’re united in a margarita made with sausage-flavored tequila and a salty foam that tastes like a wave perpetually suspended at the point of breaking.” (emphasis supplied).  Enough said – back to journalism school, Martin!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Thebeerchaser

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2 thoughts on “Merry Christmas from Thebeerchaser – Beerchaser Miscellany VI

  1. Don, this was a treat. Shared one of your recommendations with my son, and I love your heading photo. You almost look euphoric!

    • Thanks Lori. It is amazing what not having to figure out year-end compensation and next year’s budget at work can do for one’s disposition and outlook. Hope your son enjoyed the bar and let me know his reaction. Merry Christmas.

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