Before I cover some other topics in this post, it’s fitting on this 2026 Memorial Day to pay tribute to the sacrifices of U.S. military members who lost their lives in service to the country, both in wartime and peacetime. And a salute to those who have served or are serving now as well.
One of those most meaningful to me is my namesake, Captain Don Wilburn. I relate the story of this SAE fraternity brother of my dad at George Washington University. After college, Don was a World War II flyer – an officer in the US Army Air Corps.
External Photo Attribution at the end of the post. (#1 – #3)
Through the tireless efforts of his late brother, Gene, (shown above), Jason and Laura Garver and Sue Froehlich in May 2025, Don was finally awarded a posthumous Distinguished Flying Cross for his outstanding and heroic achievement on a 1942 top secret flight – one of a number as part of Operation Rusty over North Africa.
The second of two blog posts on this remarkable story is below: https://thebeerchaser.com/2025/07/24/beerchaser-notables-captain-don-wilburn-us-army-air-corps-part-ii/
Literally and Figuratively
Lawyers are trained to understand and focus on the nuances of the English language – to look at the different ways a word or phrase can be interpreted. Many times this means taking a literal meaning when it is counterintuitive.
As one attorney friend analogized, stating, “It’s hard to explain things to a kleptomaniac because they always take thing literally.”
Although not a lawyer, having worked around them for over thirty years – the last twelve as the COO of a large Northwest regional law firm with multiple offices, I acclimated to this pattern and really enjoyed the ongoing cerebral stimulation.
This linguistic practice isn’t just taught in law school. I call it a factor in the “lawyer mentality” and some future lawyers acquire it while still very young. I love the story of the troubled parent who posted:
“This morning my kid said his ear hurt and I said, ‘On the outside or inside?’ He walked out the door, came back in and said, ‘Both.'”
“Sorry I asked..!” (#4)
Or take the female lawyer, who was out running through downtown Portland after work and was jogging in place waiting for a light to change (lawyers are rule-oriented). A big dog on a leash is waiting next to her. A guy walks up to her and says, “I love German Shepherds. Does your dog bite?”
She replies, “No,” whereupon the guy leans down and pets the dog only to receive a bite on the hand from the canine. The guy angrily says, “I thought you said your dog doesn’t bite?” As she jogs off, she replies, “I did.That’s not my dog.”
And I swear, these next two actually happened and reflect the great organizational sense of humor of the Schwabe firm where I worked for twenty-five years. Schwabe for many years did pro-bono work for low-income people needing legal services.
One of my favorite lawyers sent an e-mail to firm lawyers stating: “Hey, I’m working for the Legal Clinic and my client is Hispanic. I haven’t taken Spanish since high school. Can someone help me call the client?” Less than a minute later, the reply came back, “Yes, just dial 9 and the client’s number.” (#5)
On the day before holidays, we would often (but not automatically) close early. The day before one Thanksgiving, our Director of Support Services sent the following email: “Since we will be closing early today, for the rest of the day, please let me know the timing and extent of your Support Service needs ASAP.”
The immediate reply was, “Could you define ‘early’ for me? Does it mean, ‘Now’?”
I Could Go On….
And possibly will in a future post because I have many examples I saved in my files which my wife of forty-six years reminds me I should have recycled when we moved into our new house two years ago.
Now that I’m retired, I love surfing the web for information and subscribe to electronic newsletters on everything from health tips, to home “hacks” to travel suggestions – even to law firm trends when I want to reaffirm how happy I am that I retired before the pandemic and the advent of AI.
Anticipating this blog post, I took a couple of these and applied the “literal” paradigm to them. For example, HouseOutlook.com suggested recently, “Skip the Pesticides — Try Beer Instead.” They described how to make a beer trap:
“Bury a shallow container so the rim sits about an inch above the soil; then, fill it with an inch of cheap lager. This height…allows slugs — who are expert climbers — to scale the lip and perish in the pool of alcohol below.
They have little chance of escaping because the mucus they rely on for movement and grip becomes ineffective and begins to break down once they’re submerged in the beer.“
After just reading the headline, I envisioned my own solution to implement this tip. Janet suggested that it might have worked as she only saw one slug in the garden….
Admittedly just reading the captions before attempting a “home hack” is not a good habit. For example, this one – “The Surprising Reason To Put Flour in Your Kitchen Sink.”
If I had read further, I would have found, “…We love this hack because it makes a stainless steel sink sparkle in seconds for just pennies. The secret ingredient is all-purpose flour.” (emphasis added). That makes a lot more sense than: (#8)
Now pardon the repetition, but the one tip for seniors I highlighted in an August 2025 blog post that the physical therapist who was advising me on balance issues, suggested.
He advised on the benefit of a bar in the shower that could definitely help prevent falls. This seemed a little counterintuitive, however, but perhaps only if one includes hard liquor. (#9)
And since I may be wearing out this theme, I’ll leave you with my favorite example. Those of you who have ever tried to hang a painting or photo will understand my interpretation of this advice from Home Outlook – “Your Utensil Drawer Holds the Secret to Perfectly Hung Pictures.”
It seemed pretty easy, “Once you decide where you want to hang your picture frame and hammer the nail in place, reach inside your utensil drawer and grab a fork.” Perhaps the implementation left something to be desired! (#10)
Cheers!
External Photo Attribution
#1. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons (Arlington House – Arlington National Cemetery – Wikimedia Commons) I, the copyright holder of this work, release this work into the public domain. This applies worldwide. Source: Protoant 11/6/05.
#2- #3 Jason Garver Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/jason.garver.94)
#4. Wikimedia Commons (Pastor aleman a – German Shepherd Dog – Wikimedia Commons). Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Author: Erick Drumss Hernández – 2 June 2016.
#5. Wikimedia Commons (File:Landline Telephone Set.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Author: Janak_Bhatta – 4 December 2025.
#6 -#7 AI Image Generator.
#8. Flower in Kitchen Sink Photo – Google Gemini
#9. AI Microsoft Image Generator.
