The beerchaser’s tour of Portland pubs is now several months old and I have visited five different bars in alphabetical order (because of the number of venues in Portland, I am trying to initially visit one from each letter of the alphabet):

• Brooklyn Park Pub
• Coalition Brewing Co. Pub
• Gladstone Street Tavern
• Joe’s Cellar
• Yukon Tavern

My wife visited two of the above bars with me.  She loved the Coalition Brewing Co. Pub and would definitely return.  Her reaction to the other tavern, which she did not want me to name, was not favorable.  After we left, she said, “Beerchaser” (she agreed to call me that, but only when we were going to bars)  “Why do you go to places like that?  It’s grungy and just a dive bar.”

This resulted in some philosophical reflection.  Since all bars serve beer they are inherently good.  Thus, when a bar is good it’s fantastic,  and even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.  After pondering and doing some research, I concluded that I would not rate the pubs I visited, but I would put them in a few categories including dive bars, neighborhood pubs and others.

What is a “Dive Bar”??

Vons in Seattle is NOT a dive bar!

 I loved the bar that she “dinged” and explained to her that “grungy” didn’t matter and I considered the term “dive bar” to be a term of art.   It’s the experience — not how scrubbed or unblemished the environment.  The escapist-trash novel I was reading at the time conveyed this concept perfectly, although the author was describing old Jewish delis in the city of Miami, the analogy fit:

” (He) remembered bygone places….sticky and shopworn institutions that were last refurbished when The Honeymooners was live on television, where the food was plentiful but never really outstanding.  The experience was the draw.  ……There was a strange comfort in knowing that perhaps it was a long-dead relative who left that stuffed cabbage leaf wedged beneath your booth.”  (Afraid of the Dark – a novel by James Grippando – page 249)

Another Authority on Dive Bars

Another faultless description is drawn from Seattle’s Best Dive Bars:

 “Some dives have vomit-caked toilet seats in the bathroom; others have cracked vinyl booths in the barroom.  Some have nicotine-stained murals dating back to the Depression; others have drink prices that seemingly haven’t wavered since then……..But really, no collection of characteristics can be melded to truly define what makes a bar a dive…..The term ‘dive’ is bestowed with a spoonful of love….What they have in common aren’t so much attributes, but a state of mind — you just know one when you see one.”  (Seattle’s Best Dive Bars by Mike Seely – pages 9-10)

             Willamette Week Bar Guides – A Great Resource!

Willamette Week’s past Bar Guides have been a great resource and also capture the essence of the dive bar phenomenon, “Like saints, dive bars should always be guilty until proven innocent — they always stagger  on the precipice of becoming popular and thus ruined.”  (Willamette Week 2010 – “One Hundred Favorite Bars”)

Well, after a lot of thought and downing a Dos Equis Amber, (“Don’t Ever be Thirsty, My Friend”)  I concluded that both the Yukon and Joe’s Cellar fit at least my perception of dive bars.  What do you think?

The Rod and Gun Club Saloon in Stanley, Idaho is in the “Other” Category

The beerchaser was drawn to explore Joe’s Cellar because it reminded him of a similarly named Portland pub – Don’s Dugout – a source of comfort and beer while attending graduate school at Portland State in the early ’70’s.  Davy Jones, lead singer for the Monkees, observed a decade earlier, “You can (have me sing) in the basement or the penthouse; it doesn’t matter to me.”  The same can be asserted about drinking beer; however, it made me wonder if Joe’s was, in fact, a subterranean bar.

The entrance appeared to answer this question in the affirmative…..but

Down to Joe’s Cellar?

although as dark as an underground venue, it was at street level in the northern industrial section of NW 21st Avenue.

Willamette Week in an old Bar Guide stated, “(Joe’s) has a Happy Hour at 7-friggin AM! Supposedly it’s for the industrial types who work the overnight shift, though the characters here look like they’re ready for another type of graveyard.”  And at one end of the immense U-shaped bar for my two-hour visit was a very elderly woman on oxygen who came in on a motorized wheelchair and drank Bloody Mary’s the entire time.

In the spacious bar area there are 3 pool tables, 6 flat screen TVs and at least 7 video poker machines. The booths in the bar area showed real signs of wear with a lot of holes in the vinyl covering, some of which were repaired with duct tape.  More contemporary was an electronic juke box.  Just as one can glean a lot about the character of an individual by viewing the titles in his or her library, the same might be said about the music in a bar.  So I pressed the “Top Plays” which showed the following most popular selections:

1. “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show (2004)
2. “She’s Gone” by Hall and Oates (1976)
3. “Reflections of My Life” by Marmalade (1969)

Indeed, “Reflections” came on while we were eating lunch and moved to the # 2 spot on Top Plays, which may have validated W-Week’s premise…

Joe’s Restaurant Entrance

Joe’s also has a small restaurant section, which looks like an old ’50’s malt shop with booths and metal stools at a long counter. The special that day was “Pork Delite” – a pork chop, two eggs, cottage cheese and tomato slices for $7.50 – the label “lite” was questionable.  My reuben sandwich was great as were the BLTs by the two friends with me.  An added benefit — they serve breakfast all day!

Back to the ’50’s ?

Although definitely a dive bar, I liked Joe’s. W-Week stated, “Joe’s Cellar is a redoubtable institution of old-timer sadness, ” but before we jump to conclusions we should listen to Teddy Roosevelt:

“Some men can live up to their loftiest ideals without ever going higher than a basement.” 

Joe’s Cellar            1332 NW 21st Ave.                                      

I found an old 2003 insert to Willamette Week entitled, “Drinkers’ Bible – A Sinful Guide to Portland’s Best Bars.”  One of the reviewer’s complaints about many of the establishments was the amount of cigarette smoke:

“Smoke tends to linger here.”

“High potential for hellish smoke levels.”

Before bars became smoke-free by Oregon law, the Yukon would have garnered one of these comments.  There were a bunch of people drinking in chairs out front – all with “coffin nails”.  The Yukon in the Sellwood neighborhood would fit the definition of a dive bar although it had some charm.

Notable characteristics:

• A number of artsy nude pictures hanging on the wall – one next to a poster that stated, “Keep Portland Beered.”
• A grill that featured such menu items as:

1. Chicken-fried steak                  $5.50
2. Biscuits and gravy                    $3.50
3. Chicken Gizzards                     $2.75  (special of the day..)

• A large (six foot x 4 foot) framed US Map hanging in the pool room with a sign below it that said, “Shuffle-board $3 per hour.”
• A bear head with a dummy human leg in its mouth with a sign that said, “Bartender Complaint Department.”

The Yukon had about twenty different beers on tap and I was able to get a PBR draft for $1.50 during Happy Hour.  Although tempted to take advantage of the “Well-drink of the Day – A hardy cognac” for fifty cents a shot, I passed on it.

I sat at the end of the twelve-seat bar, which was totally occupied and most of those drinking were watching the Little League World Series  on the big screen TV.  It also reminded thebeerchaser that having televisions in pubs is also a good idea.  As stated in the book Lies and Excuses:

““As long as you’re watching TV, you’re not drinking alone.”

The Yukon Tavern     5819 SE Milwaukie Avenue