Beerchaser of the Month – Art Vandelay

The  Beerchaser-of-the-Month or Quarter is a method this blog has periodically employed to acknowledge certain individuals or groups – simply because they should be recognized.  Some, such as the four bartenders from the first four taverns visited (November 2011), are directly related to beer or pubs.

Lt. Jud Blakely, USMC at Than Thrah Viet Nam

Lt. Jud Blakely, USMC at Than Thrah Viet Nam

Others such as two of my SAE fraternity brothers at Oregon StateJud Blakely (Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient for Viet Nam service) September 2013

and

Craig Hanneman (Collegiate All-American football in 1970, NFL career and successful summit of Mt. Everest in 2012) August 2012

Craig Hanneman (right) on Mt. Everest Climb
Craig Hanneman (right) on Mt. Everest Climb

and

Dr. Harry Frankfurt (Princeton University Emeritus Professor and author of the book, On Bullshit) January 2012 are named because of their achievements and contributions to society.  And some such as the fabled crew of the USS Constitution July 2012 and retired chemist, Harold Schlumberg August 2011 for more light-hearted faire.

Professor Frankfurt, author of "On Bullshit."
Professor Frankfurt, developed a theoretical framework in his book “On Bullshit.”

In that spirit, the current Beerchaser-of-the-Month is recognized for his profoundly inconsequential contribution to the world of Latex.  Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Industries a latex manufacturing company has largely slipped under the radar for many years – not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Enterprises

Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Enterprises

He grew up in Keokuk, Iowa, where he was President of his eighth grade class – twice and in high school was voted “Most Likely.”   

Childhood on the Mississippi
Keokuk – Childhood on the Mississippi

Vandelay then moved to Racine, Wisconsin and attended Kramer Community College for four years where he received his associate degree.  He didn’t participate in major team sports but was a Bowler.

After a very short first marriage to a classmate, which was voided by the court based on a “technicality,” he moved to New York.  Art Vandelay gained new confidence upon realizing that all his annoying habits disappeared when he lived alone.

Vandelay Industries' Products, in part...

Vandelay Industries’ Products, in part…

Our Beerchaser then became a latex salesman for Vandelay Industries and rose up the corporate ladder when he validated the following leadership theory propounded by comedian Dave Berry:

“When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.”
—————————
Art Vandelay’s solution for a market slump was originating the slogan for one of their more well known products:
“Wrap it in latex, or she’ll get your paychecks.”

After becoming President, he led his company to a record number of years of marginal profitability – his employees followed him primarily out of a sense of morbid curiosity.

Leadership that inspires followers....
Leadership that inspires followers….

Idiosyncrasies such as his habit of paging himself on the intercom raised questions.  However, his personal lifestyle and political philosophy had a calming effect on the organization.  For example:

“Set aside five minutes each day.  At the end of the year, you will have saved up 1.27 days.”

Another five minutes accrued.....

Another five minutes accrued…..

or

“Annoy a liberal – Work – Succeed – Be Happy!!”

Room Temperature...
Room Temperature Intellect and Personality…

—————

This led to the oft quoted expression: “Work of Art.” 

So raise a mug to an individual, who notwithstanding his room temperature IQ, may not have raised the bar, but at least passed it.

P1010994

For those who want more detailed information about Vandelay Industries including the real story, use the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Vandelay#Pseudonyms

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6 thoughts on “Beerchaser of the Month – Art Vandelay

  1. What a great post! I recognized the name immediately and laughed all the way through it. An entire episode of Seinfeld flashed through my mind. Hilarious, my friend!

  2. Looking back, I realize that I was often voted as Most Likely to be like those voted Most Likely and, too, even those who would’ve been voted More Likely (had there been a vote taken in that category and also been candidates to vote for).

    As for Latex, well, Latex makes for really good eye surgery that allows your pupil to stretch in various directions (but not all at once).

  3. Pingback: John R. (Jack) Faust – Fall 2014 Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter | thebeerchaser

  4. Pingback: Beerchaser Miscellany – A Compendium of Trivia and Bar-related Information | thebeerchaser

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