The Beerchaser-of-the-Month or Quarter is a method this blog has periodically employed to acknowledge certain individuals or groups – simply because they should be recognized. Some, such as the four bartenders from the first four taverns visited (November 2011), are directly related to beer or pubs.
Others such as two of my SAE fraternity brothers at Oregon State – Jud Blakely (Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient for Viet Nam service) September 2013
Dr. Harry Frankfurt (Princeton University Emeritus Professor and author of the book, On Bullshit) January 2012 are named because of their achievements and contributions to society. And some such as the fabled crew of the USS Constitution July 2012 and retired chemist, Harold Schlumberg August 2011 for more light-hearted faire.
In that spirit, the current Beerchaser-of-the-Month is recognized for his profoundly inconsequential contribution to the world of Latex. Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Industries a latex manufacturing company has largely slipped under the radar for many years – not that there’s anything wrong with that.
He grew up in Keokuk, Iowa, where he was President of his eighth grade class – twice and in high school was voted “Most Likely.”
Vandelay then moved to Racine, Wisconsin and attended Kramer Community College for four years where he received his associate degree. He didn’t participate in major team sports but was a Bowler.
After a very short first marriage to a classmate, which was voided by the court based on a “technicality,” he moved to New York. Art Vandelay gained new confidence upon realizing that all his annoying habits disappeared when he lived alone.
Our Beerchaser then became a latex salesman for Vandelay Industries and rose up the corporate ladder when he validated the following leadership theory propounded by comedian Dave Berry:
After becoming President, he led his company to a record number of years of marginal profitability – his employees followed him primarily out of a sense of morbid curiosity.
Idiosyncrasies such as his habit of paging himself on the intercom raised questions. However, his personal lifestyle and political philosophy had a calming effect on the organization. For example:
“Set aside five minutes each day. At the end of the year, you will have saved up 1.27 days.”
“Annoy a liberal – Work – Succeed – Be Happy!!”
This led to the oft quoted expression: “Work of Art.”
So raise a mug to an individual, who notwithstanding his room temperature IQ, may not have raised the bar, but at least passed it.
For those who want more detailed information about Vandelay Industries including the real story, use the following link: