Tanker Bar – Here Comes the Armored Cavalry….But Wait…..

the Tanker 018

Tanker is another one of the great taverns located in Portland’s “Barmuda Triangle” (BT) on Hawthorne Street (see Beerchaser post on October 3, 2012).  And while it might be assumed that the moniker for this bar is a tribute to the “iron beasts” that General George Patton used when he commanded the US Third Army to help defeat the Germans in World War II, it is actually named for the magnificent and mammoth ships that haul cargo in the Columbia and the world’s various waterways.

An excerpt from Portland Barfly gives a very apt description of this combination neighborhood tavern and dive bar.  (Note that we learned from Jessie, our friendly Tanker bartender, that the BT is also known as “The Stumble Zone”  — for obvious reasons to those with any kind of deductive reasoning capabilities.)

Jessie the Bartender with Jim Westwood

 “…..in the heart of the Stumble Zone, lies the capsized hull of The Tanker. The sea-worthy attention to detail shows freshly swapped decks and a total lack of barnacles…….

While you won’t mourn for the lost souls of lonely sailors, you will enjoy friendly service, tasty grinders and possibly the most reliable Wi-Fi in all of Portland.”

A Seaworthy Version of the Namesake

A Seaworthy Version of the Namesake

After having a beer at Beer on Belmont Street (see Beerchaser post on April 7, 2013) Portland Attorney and Beerchaser of the First Quarter of 2013, Jim Westwood, and I hit Tanker for dinner and a nightcap.

You might remember that Westwood has advanced linguistic skills and his late and wonderful mom, Catherine, happened to be both his and my Latin teacher at Oregon City High School, which was fortunate that night.

While the only Latin words I remember – understandably never successful in high school or college as a pick-up line – were “pulchra puella” (beautiful girl), Jim translated the Latin phrase used in Tanker’s coat-of-arms below, which is a very appropriate motto:

And who says High School Latin was not a useful course??

And who says High School Latin was not a useful course??

“In heaven there is no beer, so that’s why we drink it here.”

That promoted discussion of the converse assertion, which we decided should be, “In hell, you can drink all the beer you want, but there’s none available except Keystone Light.”

Tanker has pinball machines, Pacman Battle Royale, and as one might expect, the Big Buck Hunter Safari video game.  According to the Willamette Week 2010 Drink Guide, “….the nautically themed waterhole has the most avid followers of the game (in Portland).” 

A game in which one tries to shoot the life out of galloping electronic gazelles led me to question Jim about his prior legal work in Oregon Firearms Education Foundation v. State Board of Higher Education, a 2011 case regarding regulation of firearms on Oregon university campuses.

The real type of pinball machine

The real type of pinball machine

While the Oregon Court of Appeals ruled against Jim’s client being able to regulate guns by Administrative Rule, the court opened the door by affirming the State Board of Higher Education’s authority to control its property.  This enabled the Board in 2012 to unanimously adopt a policy that bans guns from most corners of campus life.

Mandatory Background Checks for BBH as a start???

Mandatory Background Checks for BBH as a start???

I suggested that possibly a reasonable first-step towards rational gun control policy would be to persuade Wayne LaPierre, of the NRA, to agree to support mandatory background checks for people who play Big Buck Hunter.

Possibly a good strategy, but he would undoubtedly bemoan government intrusion while asserting that the Founding Fathers intended the Second Amendment to include electronic weapons and besides, Big Buck Hunter provides a training ground for a well-regulated militia.

Distinguishing Characteristics

Naughty Bingo on Tuesday nights:  As described in a Tanker review: “Win Adult novelties playing bingo……drink discounts as well as a signature cocktail list featuring The Naughty Bingo Martini. Everybody wins something.”

Name Your Tall Boy!

Name Your Tall Boy and Join the Can Clan….

Tall Boys and Whiskey Selection:
Besides their 15 Taps, Tanker has 42 different varieties of Tall Boys and more than 30 whiskeys.
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Drink one of each type of Tall Boy and you become a member of the “Can Clan” and get a free t-shirt and a $1 perpetual discount.  The same is true once you have downed one shot of each of their 30 varieties of whiskey.
They have a lot of “regulars” for the variety of events they host and feature Trail Blazer and Portland Timber games on their five big-screen TVs with drink discounts.
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And While we are on the Subject, A Brief Tribute to My Favorite Tanker….

Garmo cadet pictureThebeerchaser’s brother, Garry, was a West Point (Class of 1972) graduate who chose the Armored Cavalry i.e. Tanks, as his occupational specialty.  During his time at West Point, he was a member of the West Point Glee Club and a small combo in that group called The Headliners. 

As the picture below shows, they played at the White House for President Nixon and also appeared on the Mike Douglas show on CBS national television.                        

"Don't worry, Cadets, your performance has been recorded....."

“Don’t worry, Cadets, your performance has been recorded…..” (Cadet Williams to the immediate left of Nixon)

Garry had billets at Fort Bliss in Texas, Fort Knox in Kentucky (where the CO was George Patton V) and an extended assignment in Schweinfurt, Germany.  He was an outstanding junior officer during his six years in the Army as this excerpt from a 1974 fitness report, written by a Colonel, demonstrates:

“Lt. Williams judgment is of the highest order – totally dedicated to improving his subordinates – devoted to his duty and the battalion. 

He has a perspective and understanding which far exceed any other officer in his battalion….He is the best young officer I have ever known. His talents are so far beyond those expected of even the most outstanding officer that no narrative can do him justice.”

“Soldier, obviously you haven’t heard of the slogan, ‘Don’t Tread on Me.'”

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After the military he worked at Tektronix for several years and married a beautiful lady named Pam.  Unfortunately, Garry died in 1989, but this post and a round of beer is dedicated to his memory.

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When you’re in the Stumble Zone, give Tanker a try even if it is not on a Naughty Tuesday Night.  As one Barfly reviewer summed up quite succinctly, “good bar, good times, good vibe…”And the food was good too – ask for the chicken quesadilla which Jessie cooked himself and was one of a number of good items on Tanker’s menu.

Jessee, the Bartender and Thebeerchaser logo
Jesse, the Bartender and Thebeerchaser logo

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Tanker        4825 SE Hawthorne

Portland Attorney, Jim Westwood Beerchaser of the Quarter for January – March, 2013

Attorney and Model Citizen, Jim Westwood

Attorney and Model Citizen, Jim Westwood

It is fitting and proper to recognize those who distinguish themselves, not only in their trade or profession, but also for their contributions to the overall community. Portland lawyer, Jim Westwood, is the epitome of civic virtue and an accomplished appellate lawyer.  Besides, he and Thebeerchaser are alums of both Oregon City High School and Portland State University.

He therefore joins such luminaries as Princeton Professor Emeritus, Dr. Harry Frankfurt, author of “On Bullshit,” crime novelist, James Crumley, former Oregon State Beaver and NFL football player and mountaineer, Craig Hanneman, and even the crew of the historic USS Constitution as a Beerchaser honoree.

We spent a recent evening drinking beer at The Tanker and Beer, two more establishments on Thebeerchaser Tour of Portland Taverns, Pubs and Bars.  Reviews of both venues will be posted on this blog in the next ten days.

Westwood at Beer drinking beer....

Westwood at Beer drinking beer….(stay tuned for the forthcoming  review of Beer)

Those of you old enough to remember black and white TV sets, will probably also remember the “GE College Bowl” quiz show.  It pitted a four-person college team of erudite students against another school for a half-hour showdown each Sunday evening during the 1960’s and ’70’s.

Westwood, Coach Padrow and the PSU College Bowl Team

Westwood (Center – left) , Coach Padrow and the PSU College Bowl Team (Portland State University Magazine May 2, 2005)

Westwood was the captain and is the only surviving first-team member of the legendary Portland State College team coached by legendary speech professor, Ben Padrow.

The PSC team played the same upset role Florida Gulf Coast University has so far in 2013 March Madness, by defeating their opponents for five straight weeks before they retired as champions with the sum of $15,275 in scholarships.

The legacy of the PSU scholars is evident:

“The 415 points scored in their final match ties them for fifth-highest single-game total achieved, and their 1725 points total set a new record at the time, and is fourth highest overall. The March 26, 1965 issue of Time has an article on how the College Bowl victories helped change Portland State’s image as “the flunk-out school” for University of Oregon and Oregon State drop-outs…” (Portland State Alumni Association News article by Kathryn Kirkland, May 2, 2005)

Portland State University Campus
 Portland State University Campus – now rivals the U of O and OSU

Rod Hill

 Jack Cappell

 Bruce Sussman 

  Jim Westwood   .

beer weather bureau

An IBM meteorologist console in 1965   (From Wikipedia – a work of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Admin. – public domain)

What do all these gents have in common?  Well, all are current or past meteorologists for Portland Network TV stations.  Jim helped pay his college tuition by predicting low pressure fronts and daily temperatures for KGW in the ’60’s.

Last year, he again used his experience in front of the camera to play a nutty professor in a video published by the Multnomah Bar Foundation to teach students about the US Constitution.

Nutty Professor??

Nutty Professor or a former Jason Bourne??

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He changed from physics to history as a major “because of the math….”.  After graduation from Portland State, Westwood served in the military as a Naval Intelligence Officer for several years.  Because of his superior language skills, he spent a year learning Thai – an extremely difficult language to master.

While he still cannot talk about what he did in the military, Jim’s tenure as a “spook” may have led him to subscribe to the following premise:  “When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.  Very often, that person is crazy.”

After the military, he spent three years and graduated from Columbia Law School in New York City, which in 2012 was ranked by Forbes Magazine as the top law school in the US for future employment of law grads.  After serving for two years as the Assistant to the President of PSU, he’s practiced law in Portland since 1978 at both the Miller Nash firm and Stoel Rives, where he is now a senior counsel.

He is considered a constitutional scholar, and has been designated from 1998 to 2013 in Best Lawyers in America and as an Oregon Super Lawyer.  Jim has volunteered for 11 years as a coach for “We the People” high school constitutional law teams for Grant High and De la Salle North Catholic High School.  Marilyn Cover, Executive Director of the Classroom Law Project (CLP), stated, “He’s a great teacher, a great coach and a great model citizen.”  He was honored last year as the 2012 Legal Citizen of the Year by the CLP.

Ok - the answer is "Nutty Professor!"

Ok – the answer is “Nutty Professor!”

His other civic and professional contributions are too numerous to mention but include a term as President of the City Club of Portland (1991-2) and the Board of the Multnomah Bar Foundation.

So join Thebeerchaser in hoisting a mug to Jim Westwood.  Your toast might be more appropriate if you convey it in Thai as a tribute to his military service.  If you need a tutorial, the following excerpt from Wikipedia may help.  While drinking, keep in mind the last sentence below:

“From the perspective of linguistic typology, Thai can be considered to be an analytic language. The word order is subject – verb- object, although the subject is often omitted.  Verbs do not inflect. Duplication conveys the idea of doing the verb intensively.”    (Some of the Thai vowels are illustrated below)

unrounded unrounded rounded
short long short long short long
Close /i/  -ิ /iː/  -ี /ɯ/  -ึ /ɯː/  -ื- /u/  -ุ /uː/  -ู
Close-mid /e/ เ-ะ /eː/ เ- /ɤ/ เ-อะ /ɤː/ เ-อ /o/ โ-ะ /oː/ โ-
Open-mid /ɛ/ แ-ะ /ɛː/ แ- /ɔ/ เ-าะ /ɔː/ -อ

Beerchaser Miscellany III

It’s Time for Pumpkin Ale….!

When the Suds are on the Pumpkin and……

Ben Franklin once said, “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy,”  however, seeing ads for such malty concoctions as Chili Ale and Coffee Beer, make Thebeerchaser yearn for the good old days when Blitz, Rainer, Schlitz, Oly and PBR were the standard.  That said, I was intrigued by the idea of Pumpkin Ale and decided it would not only be worth tasting, but could also decorate our porch during Halloween and into Thanksgiving.

I checked my favorite pub for esoteric brews – “Bottles” – on NE Fremont (see thebeerchaser review in July 2012) and the bartender said they had eight types.  (I might add that a new wine and beer bottle shop “1856” opened only two months ago on North East Prescott Street and rivals the selection available at Bottles.  It’s worth checking out.)  I chose the four pumpkin ale options from Bottles as shown below:

Wasatch Brewery – Salt Lake City – “Pumpkin Seasonal” (brewed with natural pumpkin and spices)

Unita Brewing Co. – Salt Lake City Utah – “Harvest Punk’N Ale”(brewed with pumpkin and spices)

Elysian Brewing Company – Seattle Washington – “Blight Pumpkin Ale” (brewed with pumpkin and cinnamon)

Midnight Sun Brewery – Anchorage Alaska – “Imperial Chocolate Pumpkin Porter”  (brewed with pumpkin, cocoa nuts, cinnamon and cloves and nutmeg)   See photo below:

Midnight Sun’s Pumpkin – Like Drinking Licorice Cough Syrup…….

My favorite was the seasonal from Wasatch although all were good to me except the Midnight Sun “Chocolate Pumpkin Porter.”  Elysian Brewery has a bunch of other pumpkin ale options too.

But a Willamette Week review of their – “Dark o’ the Moon Stout,” drew this criticism and essentially echoed my opinion of the Midnight Sun Brewery pumpkin brew, “…is far too thick and meaty for whatever decorative baby gourds found their way into the mash.  Deeply roasty with chocolate and a little bitterness, it’s a great beer for a chilly night, but three tasters agreed that pumpkin flesh and seeds don’t come through at all.”

Finally, if you want some additional information on pumpkin and fall seasonal ales, you can check out the October 31st Willamette Week article “Fall’in for Brew” with this link.  It rates ten local ales with most of them not really cutting it in the taste category.

Fluoridation in Portland??

While most people agree that the Portland City Council totally blundered in the process, they voted unanimously in September to add flouride to Portland water by mid-2014.  Of course, one concern is by some opponents who “bristle” at the potential impact on Portland’s micro-brewing industry.

Fluorite Crystals – A Taste Test to Determine the Impact on Portland Microbrews??

It was reported that Portland’s Upright Brewing strongly supports the move based on the premise, “Good teeth are more important than Beer.” Other brewery owners, however, are not so sure.  It does set up what could be an intriguing blind taste-test in the future.

And speaking of blind taste tests, check out Willamette Week’s “President of Beers” contest (not a taste-test between President O’Bama and Mitt Romney…….), in which the weekly paper, “….Bootlegged Beer from All 50 States for the Ultimate American Taste-off.”  The October 5th edition of the paper chronicles the process in which Beaverbear Barleywine from North Dakota was the ultimate winner.  Oregon had only one brew in the top 50 – Deschutes Black Butte Porter (#7).

Elections and the Weather

Well, the wonderful dry fall we had is now gone and besides bad weather, we have been inundated with endless campaign ads bringing to mind the quote from Alexander Pope on what may be the most pragmatic attitude for election results:

Cynical or Pragmatic?

“Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”  

And although I will admit to a bundle of references to Willamette Week in this post, this quote from the cynically humorous “Dr. Know”  in his column comparing the weather between the United Kingdom and the United States, is a good quote and perhaps the underlying rationale for a blog focused on a tour of bars, pubs and taverns:

“The weather is never so bad that you can’t make it to the pub, but never so good that you can do anything else.  This leads to a city and/or nation of sad, damp, doughy people drinking to kill their pain……”

Pioneer Pete and Political Correctness The efforts in both Oregon and Washington to end Native American mascots, nicknames and logos reminds me of how political correctness can go too far.  Washington is taking a more moderate approach and passed a resolution urging high schools to replace the mascots, while the Oregon Board of Education passed a ban in May.  Eight targeted (so to speak) schools have five years to comply, although I think that term connotes violence and aggression…

It brought to mind the graduation gift my Class of 1966 at Oregon City High School presented to the school for the Pioneer Gym –  a massive poster of our mascot, Pioneer Pete – a rugged type shown below:

Even though he carries weapons, he is still smiling….

Well, the mascot initiatives above reminded me of a 2001 story reported by The Oregonian to purportedly modify the Oregon City logo, as stated in this excerpt from the December 12, 2001 story:

” A burly guy with a coonskin cap, Pioneer Pete stands like a sentinel throughout Oregon City High School. He stares from hallway murals, the backs of varsity jackets and walls in the gymnasium and football stadium.

A musket in his grip and a knife slung off his hip, Pioneer Pete is catching some flak these days. Some students and administrators say his weapon-toting ways break rules that apply to students. He’s even been booted off the cover of a brochure advertising the search for a new superintendent.”

I’m pleased to report that the current Pioneer Pete doesn’t have a flag pole replacing his musket (the option proposed by the School Board) or a hair dryer (suggested by some pundits) and he still carries his bowie-knife.  It was interesting to review the comments in response to the article including this one by a staff person from the District to clarify and perhaps resolve the issue:

“Please note that this was not about Pioneer Pete , the OCHS mascot. It was a clip art picture that was to decorate a brochure to advertise our superintendent position nationally. Our preference, with the covered wagon on the cover, was a couple of pioneers, not a mountain man with a gun.

The story in the newspaper was inaccurate. There is no conversation about changing Pete at the high school. The Oregonian reporter has certainly heard from us today about the misleading story and we have asked for her to clarify that this was not a discussion about Pete. On a slow news day, this story has taken off. We have been barraged with angry people over our decision to change a clip art picture on a brochure……….”

Correction

In my recent Beerchaser-of-the-Month post honoring – so to speak – OSU Football Coach, Mike Riley, I cited my friend, attorney, Brien Flanagan, a Notre Dame grad and one who is reveling in the Fighting Irish’s undefeated season.  I stated the Brian had received both his undergraduate and law degrees from Notre Dame.  I was wrong – he went to law school at Georgetown University – an impressive academic background for a good lawyer.

Two Prestigious Alma Maters