July 2012 Beerchaser of the Month —– The Crew of the USS Constitution

Posted on July 2, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

The Fourth of July holiday harkens thebeerchaser back to his Naval History courses at Oregon State University. While the following oft-quoted tale has been disproven historically for a number of reasons, it speaks well to the spirit of Navy personnel throughout history.

It also provides an opportunity to celebrate America’s great history and why we should honor her on the 4th of July.

The USS Constitution – known as “Old Ironsides” was a combat vessel carrying 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475. This was sufficient to last for six months of operations at sea. She carried no evaporators or fresh water distillers.

The following are notations from her ship log:

On 27 July, 1798, sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon-shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum. Her mission was to destroy and harass English shipping.

: 79,400 Gallons On Shipping Out!

Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

She then headed for the Azores, arriving there on 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

64,300 Gallons of Portuguese Wine

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days, she defeated five British man-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships salvaging only the rum aboard each.

Only the Rum was salvaged……

By 26 January 1799, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed, she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single-malt scotch on board by dawn.

Then she headed home.

Old Ironsides arrived in Boston on 20 February, with no cannon-shot, no food no powder, no rum, no wine, no whiskey but 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.

As one Naval historian opined, there are a number of reasons this story equates to that of sailors and mermaids. First, it would mean that each man on the ship consumed approximately 2.5 gallons of hard liquor per day during the entire cruise. While we have heard of the “high” seas, this amount would stagger not only the imagination but the sailor. Other examples,

1) In 1799, the United States was war with France, not England.

2) The United States Navy moved away from using Jamaican rum as part of the grog ration and moved towards more home-grown spirits such as Kentucky whisky. Grog was about 2 or 3 parts water to one part whiskey.

Sailors’ Delight…

3) When a warship captured a merchant ship, the alcohol supply was the last thing on the captain’s mind. Instead, he was looking for goods he could sell when the cruise was over.

Regardless of the veracity of the story, our military deserves a salute this Fourth of July and thebeerchaser wishes you a Happy and Safe Fourth of July

Drink Responsibly!

County Cork – The Irish Solution

Posted on June 28, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

The Irish are Right!!

Don’t Fight It – Have a Guinness

County Cork was visited early on a Tuesday night. Thebeerchaser and four friends who I consider among the top environmental lawyers in Portland were in our group.

Since John Mansfield, a patent attorney, accompanied me to Mock Crest Tavern, (see previous June post) one might wonder why environmental lawyers were the preferred companions. Well, if one has the choice to converse on what constitutes prior art and derivation practice under the American Invents Act, or alternatively, to discuss nuances resulting from the interaction of Endangered Species Statutes with the numeric effluent links of the Clean Water Act, most people would choose the latter. (How about those Mariners….?)

Clearing the Air – Tanya, our Waitress and 4 Env. Lawyers

A guy at the next table who overheard us talking piped up: “You know it’s not pollution or industry that is harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water.”

We abruptly ended the dialogue when he then opined, “The recent eclipse of the sun is irrefutable proof of the unreliability of solar power.”

The pub, County Cork, is named after the county by the same name in the southwest region of Ireland.

An Irish Geography Lesson

Since one of our party was named Brien Flanagan and he is a Notre Dame double grad, we were not concerned about fitting in. In fact, the bar has a reputation for being family friendly. How family friendly? It even has a play area for kids with a toy chest and a shelf full of kids books. The 2008 Willamette Week Bar Guide sums it up:

“Go ahead – bring all the kids you want to this Irishy Irvington pub. Sip an imperial pint from Eire (Murphy’s, Beamish, Guinness) ……. while little Angus and Fiona try their hands at darts. When they’re done poking holes in each other, stuff them full of fish and chips.”

“Good Night Moon” – The book – not when you pass out!!

There are 16 beers on tap and also cider, Guinness and Murphy’s Irish Stout brewed in Cork County. Also nine bottled beers and a wine list. Drink and food prices are reasonable with Dollar-off-Pints 3 to 6 o’clock Monday through Friday

Distinguishing Characteristics

The Interior – Although it is in a somewhat ordinary setting on Fremont Street, the bar does have the feel of an Irish Pub. Pictures of JFK and Bobby are prominent as are signs about Irish food on the menu and live Irish music on most Tuesdays and Fridays (e.g. Johnny Connelly and Danny O’Hanlon that night). There are two individual stalls for darts, which is somewhat unusual. The bartenders are “in costume”, so to speak.

The Food – Some of the reviews describe the food very favorably (esp. the fish and chips) although one of our party with experience, used the adjective “scary” to describe the Scottish Egg on the menu (Hard-boiled egg wrapped in seasoned pork sausage and lightly breaded, deep-fried and served with a side of house-made chutney)

301 or Cricket??

Menu “classics” included Murphy’s Stew, Bangers and Mash, Shepherds Pie and Bread Pudding.

County Cork was enjoyable and we decided to leave when Flanagan asked us if we had heard about the Irish boomerang?

“It doesn’t come back, it just sings songs about how much it wants to.”

County Cork 1329 NE Fremont

A Family Friendly Patio — Is that Angus??

Beerchaser of the Month for June – Dr. John Walker – Portland State University Professor of Public Finance and Economics

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Cheers to a Notable Prof.

Thebeerchaser’s recent visit (and last blog post) to the Cheerful Tortoise on the edge of the Portland State University campus brought back memories from the late 1970’s. While a loyal OSU Beaver alum, I received an outstanding graduate education in the PSU Masters in Public Administration program. When my wonderful adviser, Dr. Walt Ellis, chided me that since it had been seven years, I needed to finish my MPA within the next three terms or they would start taking credits away.

Like most good procrastinators, I had saved the toughest courses until last – to wit:

Public Finance Statistics and Data Analysis (2 terms)

While thebeerchaser’s new spouse – a fellow MPA graduate – pulled me through Data Analysis, I faced Dr. John Walker‘s course on public finance with trepidation given the prof’s reputation for being a tough grader and his challenging tests on complex topics.

Red Line = GPA Trendline After Public Finance Course

Besides, how interesting could three-hour evening lectures be by a guy who published a paper entitled, “Long Run Aggregate Supply Verticality: Fact or Fiction,” in the American Economist. To my surprise, however, I learned a great deal from Dr. Walker – enjoyed his lectures immensely and, in part, based on my study partner’s (former Oregon Department of Human Resources Director, Jean Thorne) discipline, even aced the course.

Stimulating????

John Walker would start each lecture with a monologue, of sorts, railing against government policies, politicians and institutions. With his dry and sarcastic wit, these were humorous and conveyed his point vividly. He also peppered his lectures with these comments.

Enjoying this type of humor, I “collected” these witticisms – listed them in a section of my legal pad and filed them away – until two weeks ago while going through old files. It was refreshing in 1977 to listen to a very intelligent person who disdained political correctness. So while trying to absorb the Law of Variable Proportions or comprehend the intricacies of the marginal rate of transformation in lecture, I would gleefully jot down comments such as:

“Taxing the rich isn’t always a good idea. It’s very easy to think of a group of very nice rich people and really crummy poor people.”

“Government being run like a business means that it should raise taxes while concurrently lowering services.”

Dr. Walker had the flu during the term and one of the students subsequently asked him how he was feeling and his reply was “Relative to what?”

I determined that others should be able to share in some of the gems that he conveyed although for obvious reasons, deciding to eliminate the names of specific politicians in the quotes such as “The combined ability of ______ and ______ is a negative number.” or “Governor ______ wants to be just. The problem arises because his version of what is just is wrong.”

We start with my favorite: “It’s much more economically efficient to bury people vertically rather than horizontally.” (He does have a point…)

The Model is Economically Inefficient….

“I went to testify before the Oregon Legislature as an expert witness, but there was no precedent for expert testimony.”

“Do fish mind swimming through crud if there is enough oxygen? No, but we have no reason to believe that fish know anything.”

Potential Invaders??

“It is my opinion that we could lower the defense budget to zero and the Russians would not attack….However the Mexicans would.”

“Under the Oregon fraternal organization statutes, something has to be given to charity each year to be exempt from property taxes. The law doesn’t say how much — all you have to do is give $1 to any deserving midget once per year. When the Department of Revenue conducts an audit and asks what your charity is, the organization simply replies, ‘Marvin.'”

“I prefer diversity. It’s bad enough that I have to look at you each week, but think how bad it would be if you all looked the same.”

Undesirable Students!

“School boards are elected to make people’s kids smart and beautiful. Three years later, when they’re still dumb and ugly, the board members are not re-elected.”

“The great general cause of poverty is the absence of money.”

Although it has taken thirty-five years, here’s a toast to Dr. John Walker as Thebeerchaser of the Month – just as we toasted his humor after class at Sam’s Hoffbrau in 1977. Similar to a previous recipient, Dr. Harry Frankfurt (Beerchaser of the Month for September) of Princeton University, the author of the brilliant book, On Bullshit, Dr. Walker used his wit and creativity to educate — effectively.

It also seem appropriate to end with a citation (also used in a prior beerchaser post), but one which I think Dr. Walker would approve:

Therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books, hoping that something would pass from one to the other –while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason.

The Cheerful Tortoise – Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Posted on June 12, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Aesop Was Correct!!

Since the Greek story-teller Aesop, was purportedly a slave, it is doubtful that he conveyed his fable about the tortoise and the hare to Aristotle or Herodotus while hoisting a mug in a fifth century Greek pub.

Aesop’s Legacy

The Cheerful Tortoise Pub (CT) by the Portland State campus, however, has an eclectic mix of PSU students, professors, athletes and OHSU medical students so drinking yarns and tales of yore are prevalent. With its 42 television sets, gobs of sports momentos and historic sponsorship of PSU athletics, the CT was voted the top sports bar by Portland City Search two years in a row. However, it’s far more than just a sports bar as one patron stated:

“One must remember that this place is a college bar that is a sports bar that is a karaoke bar that is a neighborhood dive bar. Most of the time it is chock-full of regulars, but at other times is a raucous mess of barely 21 college student who get stupid after 2 beers.”

Scholarship Support for the Viks….

I was fortunate to be joined by my good friend, former insurance company president and now Director of New Business Development for the PSU Athletic Dept. Dennis Ferguson. All the bartenders know Denny, who is an extrovert and so optimistic that he once started a diet on Thanksgiving Day. He commented on the generosity of owner Amy Nichol and Pat Lockhart (former) whose contributions generate PSU scholarships.

: A TV Spreadsheet to Keep Track

Thursday night is $1 beer and $2 wing night so the probability of seeing out-of-control college kids escalates. Trivia Nights on Mondays are for those who desire a more mundane experience.

Denny, Allison and thebeerchaser logo

While a few of the reviews commented on unfriendly and slow service, our experience was great. Our bartender, Allison, helped educate us about the bar which opened in 1940, and she and fellow bartenders Lana and Brooke were all intelligent, friendly and great looking!

Sports Memorobilia Abounds

The TC has 18 beers on tap — I had a Hamms which is always $2.75 except on $1 beer night. Karoke is on Wednesday – Friday and Saturday.

Distinguishing Characteristics

The History – Although fellow PSU Grads, historian John Terry and former GE College Bowl PSU Captain, Jim Westwood, wax eloquently about the tradition of PSU-area pubs such as Lydia’s, the Chocolate Moose and Birdies, andthebeerchaser remembers some good draft beer after class at Sam’s Hoffbrau (now a McDonalds), none of these survived – and the Cheerful Tortoise is still going strong after 72 years!

It evokes Park Blocks memories for many – whether it is WW II vets taking courses at Vanport Extension Center, Ben Padrow coaching his 1965 College Bowl Team or the outstanding dialogue when masses of students gathered to hear and debate decorated Marine Corps officers and Viet Nam veterans, Lt. Ancer Haggerty (Silver Star and Purple Hearts – now a federal judge) and Cpt. Jud Blakely (Bronze Star and Purple Hearts) when they recruited on campus during the late ’60’s.

: Promoted Dialogue in a “Charged” Environment

: Denny and the Building — Both Historic…..

The Character – There are essentially no windows and the 42 TVs provide the light so it’s very dark yet the big fireplace roaring all year makes it warm and hospitable. One night, you may see a bunch of international students in front of one of the TVs cheering on their favorite soccer team. It’s quirky trademarks such as $1 Beer nights and the $1.99 Breakfast available every day, have a wide following. As Willamette Week’s 2009 Drink Guide, listing their 100 favorite bars, aptly stated:

“The CT packs the benefits of a college sports bar without the vomiting sorority girls and Dave Mathews fans….But on the Bar’s legendary $1 beer nights…there is no escape. Come ready to get drunk– and relive the glory days.”

You don’t have to be a student to enjoy the Cheerful Tortoise – give it a try.

The Cheerful Tortoise 1939 SW Sixth Avenue

Beerchaser of the Quarter – John Terry – Historian and Columnist

Posted on May 29, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

A Portland Treasure – Historian John Terry

The intent of this blog is to periodically recognize individuals who facilitate this tour of Portland pubs. It has been too long since one has been recognized and former Oregonian columnist, John Terry is belatedly recognized for the first quarter of 2012

John authored a column for many years on Oregon History in The Oregonian. To the consternation of many, including thebeerchaser, earlier this year, the paper decided to discontinue what had become a weekly Sunday feature. After sending John an e-mail lauding his contribution over the years, he agreed to meet me for lunch where I quizzed him about the history of Portland taverns and pubs. He was a fascinating and comprehensive resource for thebeerchaser tour.

Jim Westwood – Another John Terry and George Washington Admirer

To give one an idea of the consternation of many of Terry’s fans, see the Oregon Live excerpt below from another Portland amateur historian and celebrity, of sorts – Portland lawyer and former Captain of the Portland State GE College Bowl team in 1965.

Jim Westwood, reflecting the eloquence which has made him one of Oregon’s leading appellate lawyers expressed righteous indignation to the publisher:

“When The Sunday Oregonian discontinued John Terry’s weekly articles on Oregon history, I sighed and told myself I’d get used to turning to something else first thing every Sunday morning. How wrong I was. How long has it been now, a couple of months? It’s an eternity. I miss John Terry’s lively, superbly researched articles.

I miss them desperately. I’m frustrated and angry that The Oregonian could have taken them away without considering making them at least a monthly feature. Sunday will never be the same, and it hit me again this morning. In this season of rebirth, I hope The Oregonian will resurrect John Terry and his wonderful works on the history of our state and its people.”

John regaled me with brief stories of many of the taverns with historic roots in Portland that are still operating:

The White Eagle Saloon The Slammer Horse Brass Pub Kells’ Claudias’

Still Open for a Brewski!

He also told me about the once world-famous, Erickson’s Saloon, founded in 1895, which occupied two stories of an entire block between 3rd and 4th on Burnside and was reputed to have the largest bar in the world (400 feet long…). Indeed, evidence of the saloon can still be found as the photo below shows:

: The Stories Behind this Wall….

And Bertie’s Montgomery Crystal Gardens near Portland State, which had nickel beers on Tuesday nights and Jan’s Streets of Paris near Hawthorne and Division on the East Side that had a New Orleans theme and ………..

One can still learn a lot about historic Oregon by doing a search on Oregon Live. For example, John Terry’s column from August 2011, on the Portland Hotel, opened in the 1890’s on what is now Pioneer Courthouse Square:

“The finished product (costing $1 million) boasted 326 sleeping rooms, steam heat, gas and electric lights, restaurant, ballroom, bar, sitting rooms, dining rooms, sewing rooms, reception room, ladies parlors, public restrooms, public telephones, news and cigar stand, Western Union office, elevators, offices and quarters for live-in staff.

Eleven U.S. presidents were among its guests, starting with Benjamin Harrison in 1891. Virtually every luminary – actor, musician, politician, writer, tycoon – who blew through town put up there.”

Demolished in 1951 for a Parking Lot….

So join thebeerchaser in a toast to John Terry…or better yet, echo Jim Westwood’s complaint to the Editor of The Oregonian about the paper’s error in discontinuing John Terry’s excellent column.

A Toast to Columnist John Terry!

Mock Crest Tavern – A North Portland Classic

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Founded in 1947 and Going Strong!

This wonderful neighborhood bar in the historic Kenton District of NE Portland is on N. Lombard – about two miles east and slightly north of the University of Portland and one of thebeerchaser’s other favorite venues – The Twilight Room (see review from September 2011)

The visit was prompted by the following:

Its history – operating for 60 + years, named after North Portland icon, John Mock, and previously operated as a meat market and an ice cream parlor.

: Classic Furnishings and Ambiance

Identified repeatedly as a “Classic Portland Bar” – affirmed by the fact that the only “substantive” negative comment in five years of reviews on websites was one guy’s gripe that there were red onions served with his salad.

The urging of my friend and former colleague, John Mansfield – one of the excellent Intellectual Property (patent, trademark, copyright, cyber security, etc.) lawyers at the Schwabe Williamson firm. John, who is a litigator, had previously used John Batchellor, the co-owner of Mock Crest, as an expert witness on a computer software case with good results.
Attorney John Mansfield

Mock Crest Tavern has a number of colorful slogans to describe the venue – all of which seemed very accurate:

Home of the North Portland Blues

Easy to Find – Hard to Leave

Where Friends Meet

Laurie, the Director

Some might wonder about the wisdom of hitting a bar with any lawyer, but especially an IP lawyer (people whose Cliff Notes in college were on quantum mechanics rather than “orginating” ideas for an essay on Charles Dickens’ Tale of Two Cities).

John is a Renaissance Man, however, having graduated magna cum laude from Cornell Law School, after undergraduate degrees at both Portland State and U of O (in music!). For example, he played the keyboard in a four-person 80’s funk and rock band named The Core – “one of the least successful bands to come out of Eugene in decades…” — possible reunion tour on tap? John has also appeared in many Portland theatrical productions ranging from “Pump Boys & Dinettes” to “Rocky Horror Show”.

Mansfield and “Core” Values in Eugene

Besides, how can one resist drinking with a person who recently authored a stimulating article entitled, “Metadata and Public Records Requests.”

Mock Crest has 8 draft and 14 bottled beers in addition to classic 16 ounce cans of Hamms and Rainier. We started with a Miller since at Mock Crest “Every Day is Miller Day” and a Miller draft is $1.50 from 6:00 to 7:00 PM. (we couldn’t figure out why Miller Lites were $1.75 except for possible paternalism by the owners)

I was watching the Mariners lose 3 to 1 on one of the multiple wide-screen TVs when John then told his first Intellectual Property bar Joke:

A neutron walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a beer.”

The bartender serves him and says, “For you – no charge!”

Free Beer for Neutrons….

The staff at Mock Crest adds to the bar’s charm. We talked to Laurie, the Director, who has worked there for ten years with the original intention of staying only two months. She was very helpful, let us see the deck area, which is temporarily close while being extensively reconstructed and told us about the rich history of the pub.

Deck – A Work in Process

Lisa, our waitress, was wonderful and gave us some complimentary jello shots besides being the epitome of good service and courtesy.

For example, she did not get mad when after seeing the caption on the menu, “Breakfast Served – Any Time,” Mansfield ordered “French Toast from the Renaissance Era.” I tried to apologize for the endearing practice of lawyers to take things literally.

Would You Believe French Toast??

Distinguishing Characteristics

The Ambiance – It was described by one patron as “just small enough to be cozy, and just big enough to be comfortable.” Besides the friendly staff, its interior of dark wood and a great bar reflect its history.

There are neat signs with slogans such as “No Sniveling”and they have fried pickles and other gems on the menu – reviews were overwhelmingly favorable on the food. (We had sandwiches and tator tots which were great..) They have Texas Hold-em Poker nights every Sunday and Monday nights.

Lisa, John and theBC logo – she even laughed at his jokes….

The Music – there’s live music, described in one review as “quite an eclectic mix” (and no cover charge) on Tuesdays-Sundays . For example, on May 1^stwe heard “Eagle Ridin Papas” featuring Johnny Ward.”

Jonnie Ward and Crew and No Cover!

An excerpt from a NW jazz publication stated, “Johnnie Ward is a name we all say often and with much love and respect……..an extraordinary musician, composer, American Folk Artist, and native Portlander….. a ‘living study’ of the Northwest Roots & Blues Movement with nearly 40 years of performance art to his credit…..”

As we listened to Johnnie Ward, Mansfield felt compelled to attempt his final science-laden bar joke:

An atom walks into a bar and says, “I lost an electron.”

The bartender says, “How can you be sure.”

The atom says, “I’m positive.”

Harkening back to my Cliff Notes on Charles Dickens, this led thebeerchaser to conclude that the visit to Mock Crest was, in fact, “the best of times and the worst of times….” and it also negated the Mock Crest slogan, “Hard to Leave.”

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard Street

Interurban – Urbane Saloon

Posted on May 3, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

“Urbane” is defined as “notably polite or finished in manner,” which is apt for the relatively new (November 2011) Interurban (IU), another watering hole on the now trendy NE Mississippi Ave. One of the three owners is Dan Hart, who also owns Prost – a bar up the street previously reviewed by thebeerchaser in November.

The original opening was delayed because of a fire of questionable origin until, according to our waitress, Rachael, Portland Fire and Rescue came in and pulled down some walls and discovered the source – an action commemorated at the top of the stairs with the logo shown below:

: Tribute to “The City that Works” – 11/27/11

The bar was evidently named after Portland’s first interurban line, the Portland Sellwood and Milwaukie Railway, constructed in 1890 and the first of several interurban lines serving Portland and the Willamette Valley. According to one of the owners, a spur once ran down Mississippi Avenue, right past the restaurant. For those into historic trains, an extremely interesting website can be found at http://pdxhistory.com/html/interurbans.html

: The Oregon City Trolley on the Interurban Line

Reviews on IU are somewhat mixed and from our perspective, it was almost a little “too cool” – really dark wood, taxidermy, a coolly efficient staff, a nice sound system playing what one patron described as “a mix of classic funk, old school hip-hop, trip-hop and the like,” but was some good jazz when we (thebeerchaser and spouse) were there. A number of reviews have criticized the noise level at IU as being too loud with the sound system a factor.

IU is pretty confined – on the lower level, two tables by the entrance, a somewhat crowded bar with about 10-12 stools and some “buddy bars” with stools facing the wall and a small ledge for eating and to place drinks. Upstairs there are about six or seven more tables.

: The Bar on the First Floor

There is also a patio for use when the weather is reasonable??!! Happy Hour is every day except Saturday with $2 drafts $3-4 whiskey and $5 wine. They have a nice selection (14) of cocktails, craft jello shots, 8 bottled beers and 14 draft beers (we had a nice Staropramen Pilsner).

Distinguishing Characteristics

The Food – two of the owners are well-known Portland chefs and the menu (coolly set forth in manilla file folders with clips..) has a great selection of pork and beef dishes, lamb stew and what is billed as “Portland’s largest corn dog” at $9. I had the “hot dog of the day” – a chili dog – all the meat is from Olympic Provisions, which was outstanding. Also a good range of soups and salads.

The African Trophy from Namibia

The Taxidermy! – one of the bartenders told us that besides the large moose head on the wall, the other two animals on the first floor were shot by one of the bartenders and his father on a trip to Africa.

An Antelope from Zambia

The Mix of Cocktails – Both the display in the menu and the assortment were impressive and unusual for most bars. For example, “The Suffering Bastard” – which research revealed has a history. One website quoted a 1959 New York Times interview with the inventor himself, Joe Scialom, one-time head bartender at Shepheard’s Hotel in Cairo.

“When liquor was short during the war, he had to concoct ‘something to quench the boys’ thirst.’ He combined equal parts gin and brandy with a dash of Angostura bitters, a teaspoon of Rose’s lime juice, and English ginger ale. He garnished the drink with a sprig of fresh mint, a slice of orange and a cucumber peel.”

We enjoyed Interurban (of course, how does one not appreciate any public house). It was cool – but lacked the character of many of thebeerchaser’s prior bars and taverns. If the old trolley line was still operating, I would have taken it up the street to revel in the ambiance of Prost!

The Patio — Weather Permitting…

Interurban 4057 N. Mississippi

Beerchaser Miscellany

Posted on May 1, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Thebeerchaser’s tour of Portland pubs, taverns and bars and this blog commenced in August 2011. My education on blog software is continuing and I hope to make it easier in the future to find items on the site; however, it may be helpful until that time to recap the venues reviewed in categories during the last ten months.

The next review will be posted this week and recaps our visit to Interurban, which will be followed by a visit to the historical Mock Crest Tavern.

Neighborhood Bars

Brooklyn Park Pub
Gladstone Street Pub
Hawthorne Hideaway
Laurelthirst Public House
Muddy Rudder Public House

“Taking the Plunge…”

Dive Bars (Not a negative connotation – see post entitled “Analyzing Dive Bars – Head First” from September)

Ash Street Saloon
Dixie Tavern
Joe’s Cellar
Yukon Tavern

Brew Pubs

Amnesia Brew Pub
Coalition Brew Pub
Migration Brew Pub

Miscellaneous Bars and Pubs – In a Class of Their Own

The Buffalo Gap Saloon
Proust
The Twilight Room (Could be considered somewhat of a neighborhood pub but also a traditional “hang-out” for watering hole for University of Portland students)

Followers of the blog have asked if I have identified a favorite establishment to this point. While every visit has been positive, probably two tie as favorites for different reasons: The Laurelthirst and The Twilight Room.

Beerchasers of the Month

This label above is a misnomer because only five of the ten months have named an “honoree” as follows:

Princeton University professor and author of On Bullshit, Dr. Harry Frankfurt
Crime novelist, James Crumley
Retired chemical engineer and drinker, Harold Schlumburg
The bartenders of the Brooklyn Park Pub, the Gladstone Street Pub, Prost and the Twilight Room

Efforts will be made to bestow that honor more frequently, however, my favorite to this point is the esteemed Dr. Frankfurt, who responded to thebeerchaser’s e-mail informing him of the distinction and he became a follower of the blog.

BS Expert – Dr. Harry Frankfurt

Beer-related Lawsuits

Having worked in a law firm for twenty-five years and at the Oregon State Bar prior to that time, I collected a lot of law-related articles and memorabilia. In reviewing old files, I came across my favorite law suit – reported in The Oregonian in 1976. It documents a $53,000 suit filed against the Mount Angel Oktoberfest in Marion County.

The plaintiff, Robert Rispler, claimed the portable toilet he entered at the annual Oktoberfest was pushed over by unruly patrons and he was “violently thrown about inside said portable toilet, became intimately mixed (emphasis supplied) with the contents thereof and sustained a fracture of his right wrist and other contusions and abrasions.”

A Lawsuit Dr. Frankfurt Might Appreciate

Unfortunately additional research on the results of this suit are beyond the resources of thebeerchaser although a quick search of the internet found two Robert Risplers – one, a 1974 graduate of Reynolds High School in Portland (he would have been too young to drink legally….) and one who is now Director of Accounting at Fannie Mae in Washington DC. Thebeerchaser avoids political commentary (at times) and will omit any direct or indirect implications related to federal agencies.

Favorite Bar Jokes

Although my archives has more lawyer jokes than bar jokes, this blog needs to return to more relevant topics in this post and will finish with a few bar jokes, which will also grace future posts:

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, that’s really cool. We have a drink named after you. The grasshopper looks at him skeptically and says, “You have a drink named Murray?”

A piece of toast, a glass of orange juice, some hash browns and a side of eggs walk into a bar and they order four beers. The bartender says, “I’m sorry we don’t serve breakfast here.”

A physician, a nurse, a rabbi and a bulldog walk into a bar and the bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

Spring Training in Phoenix

Thebeerchaser and spouse were privileged to take in a few games during Spring Training in Phoenix in March. While the tour of pubs is restricted to Portland, we visited and observed a number, which generated these observations:

It seemed like every bar we passed was jammed with people especially from about 4:30 to 7:00 and not necessarily because of Happy Hours. It may be that given urban sprawl in this badly planned metropolis, that people don’t try to drive during rush hour and just hit a bar each day. Rotating designated drivers keep things legal.

It also seemed that many of the venues had multiple levels to accommodate all the patrons (see pictures below). Perhaps it was also the hot weather. It was ironic that it cost $4 for a bottle of water at the baseball games when one could get a PBR for $1.50 at the pub across the street. It brought to mind, beerchaser of the month, Jame’s Crumley’s request from his main character, C.W. Sughrue, “I want a beer as cold as my ex-wife’s heart.”

Of special interest was the Irish Pub, shown below, that also served as a saddelry.

Did you hear the one about the horse that walked into the bar? **

*Bartender says, “Hey! Why the long face?”

The Muddy Rudder Public House – Chart a Course Here!

Posted on April 18, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Sellwood’s Muddy Rudder Public House

The Beerchaser’s favorite nautical quotation is by Admiral David Farragut during the Civil War Battle of Mobile Bay in 1864. The Admiral, in his flagship the USS Hartford, while lashed to his observation post in the rigging, yelled “Damn the Torpedoes – Full Speed Ahead!” This is still good advice if you are on the Willamette River near Sellwood. Chart your course to the Muddy Rudder.

No Muddy Rudder Would Deter Admiral Farragut

While we didn’t have to dodge naval ordnance, the weather was terrible (rain and hail) which made the pub’s warm atmosphere better the night we had a great visit with our friends, Kate and David Dickson. Note that the picture above is taken in the summer when you can enjoy the Rudder’s neat beer garden. “If you do go, try to sit in the lovely outdoor garden during warm weather.”

Coincidentally, if you are searching on the Internet, you should be aware, there is also a great seafood restaurant and bar of the same name near Portland, Maine – named for the tugboat, PORTLAND, which sank in the Cousins River “when a harsh nor’easter besieged the boat at its mooring and strong winds grounded and overturned her.” – so much for nautical lore, now let’s talk about a great pub in our Portland.

The “Rudder” would be easy to miss because its roots as an old house are still evident and there is little signage. It’s only two blocks from the east end of the Sellwood Bridge. on Tacoma and 7th. As one reviewer stated: “What had been a little decaying rental had been pushed out and up and seemed to be preparing for a second life as some sort of storefront. But that second life had to wait a couple of years while owner Jim Sheehan, a custom woodworker and motorcycle fanatic, toiled away reworking the cabinetry, floors and woodwork.”

One less complimentary description was: “It’s like a commercial version of the residential renovations and partial tear-downs you see throughout gentrifying Sellwood. The successful, upper-middle class, white people in their 40s and 50s with kids and dogs who live in those houses find a regular watering hole in the Muddy Rudder.” However, the above quote is followed by good advice:

“But don’t let this stop you from visiting (or even frequenting) the Muddy Rudder. It’s a great spot with excellent food and drink, and one of the only establishments at the far west edge of Sellwood. You “should” really like it a lot.”

So What’s to Like?

The atmosphere is cordial and classy. There are old nautical charts and maritime accoutrements throughout the two levels. The round tables and wooden chairs, cabinetry and wood bar, give it the feel of a great neighborhood pub.

The Food Focus…
The food was great and reasonably priced. Most of the menu items ended in vowels, (pizza, Stromboli, bruschetta, zucchini, antipasto, chili, et.al…) Being in the spirit, thebeerchaser ordered his first cocktail on this tour of beer joints – an excellent dirty martini! We had a superb meatball sandwich and a pizza.

The Entertainment – there is music (no cover charge) most nights and if you get there in time to sit on the second level, you’re right next to the band. In our case, it was a great group called the “Sleepy-eyed Johns” – a wonderful five-piece combo (fiddle, mandolin/guitar, bass and banjo). From their first tune – “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” to the end of the evening, they captivated the crowd.

Wake up to the Sleepy-eyed Johns

The Beer – a nice selection of micros on tap at a reasonable price.
What’s on Tap

In fact, the only down-side of the Muddy Rudder, which was totally offset by the positives, was the service – the pace and not the people themselves.

Our waitress Marissa (Mo) was wonderful and Todd the bartender was great, but they are just understaffed. Mo did a heroic job, but she was the only waitress for the entire pub. Many of the reviews indicate that this has been an ongoing problem as evidenced from this one in early 2009:

“You can’t get through a visit without wondering where your food is, or having the servers apologize for being short-staffed, or having to go up to the bar to ask for napkins or forks.”

One patron’s overall sentiments about this pub seemed right on target when she stated: “I kinda love this place. I hope other people don’t come here so that there is always a place for me when I want to go.”

The Muddy Rudder Public House 9195 SE 7th in Sellwood

The Hawthorne Hideaway – Amiable Alliteration

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

This is a delightful, friendly little neighborhood bar, in a nondescript setting around Southeast 21^st and Hawthorne. It was aptly described by one patron as “Nothing spectacular, definitely not flashy – but Hawthorne Hideaway is great!”

Another regular said, “When you can walk in at 5:30 on a sunny weekend and leave to a dark night sky after 8:00 without realizing how many hours you just wasted, that says something about the enjoyable nature of this place.” It also bring to mind some constraints on pub habitation from September 2011 Beerchaser of the Month, crime novelist, James Crumley in his novel, The Mexican Tree Duck:

James Crumley

“Bars can be nice places, comfortable homes away from the loneliness or confusion of home, but nobody – not even the most confirmed degenerate drunk, can spend eighty or ninety hours a week in one.”

There is a good selection of beers: seven beers on tap, seven bottled beers and five beers in cans including my old favorite, Rainer. We tried an excellent Fort George Oatmeal Pale Ale on tap. Happy Hour is every day from 4:00 until 7:00.

People like the decent but cheap food (served until 2 am) and the strong drinks. The only major complaint from several years of reviews – a female visitor from Salt Lake City. Although a non-drinker, she complained for over three paragraphs about the tacos, which rates a one-word response from Thebeerchaser:

“Go Back to Utah!”

Evidently Better in Salt Lake City…

And oh yes, the Hawthorne was a bit dark, however, this elicited one of the more creative views of a dingy, dive-bar setting: “It’s dimly lit with a borderline seedy feeling – the low lighting makes everyone look a little better – no need to even wear makeup with that lighting…..”

Distinguishing Characteristics

We talked to Craig, the owner, who said the two differentiators for the bar are the fresh-squeezed juices in all the mixed drinks and the lemonade, and the distinct layout and interior design – one which a set-designer friend developed six years ago when they opened, after surveying the neighbors on what they wanted in the bar.

The layout is quirky as one Portland Barfly reviewer conveys well:

The entrance is timid. Where’s the circulation? Why is there such dramatic separation between the front and the back – it’s severed? Where’s your central gathering space? I don’t understand the logic – why would I go there??

Because it’s AWESOME!

Original Art??

In the front where there are tables, one can see original (and quirky) art on the walls and old photos of Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, the Lone Ranger and Tonto and other icons along with a sign that says, “Come Enlarge Your Brain While Destroying It!” – a marketing slogan for the bar’s trivia night every Monday at 7:30.

Free Pool in the Back Room

The back part of the pub is a large room with several pool tables (patrons love the free pool), big screen TVs video poker and some pinball machines.

The west wall is chock full of old 33 RPM album covers ranging from Count Basie, The Ink Spots and Montovani to Fabian and Elvis’s memorable album “How Great Thou Art!” – they’re really interesting!

“Rock of Ages…!”

The Hawthorne Hideaway is a great hang-out and neighborhood pub for a pint!

The Hawthorne Hideaway 2221 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

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