Tanker Bar – Here Comes the Armored Cavalry….But Wait…..

the Tanker 018

Tanker is another one of the great taverns located in Portland’s “Barmuda Triangle” (BT) on Hawthorne Street (see Beerchaser post on October 3, 2012).  And while it might be assumed that the moniker for this bar is a tribute to the “iron beasts” that General George Patton used when he commanded the US Third Army to help defeat the Germans in World War II, it is actually named for the magnificent and mammoth ships that haul cargo in the Columbia and the world’s various waterways.

An excerpt from Portland Barfly gives a very apt description of this combination neighborhood tavern and dive bar.  (Note that we learned from Jessie, our friendly Tanker bartender, that the BT is also known as “The Stumble Zone”  — for obvious reasons to those with any kind of deductive reasoning capabilities.)

Jessie the Bartender with Jim Westwood

 “…..in the heart of the Stumble Zone, lies the capsized hull of The Tanker. The sea-worthy attention to detail shows freshly swapped decks and a total lack of barnacles…….

While you won’t mourn for the lost souls of lonely sailors, you will enjoy friendly service, tasty grinders and possibly the most reliable Wi-Fi in all of Portland.”

A Seaworthy Version of the Namesake

A Seaworthy Version of the Namesake

After having a beer at Beer on Belmont Street (see Beerchaser post on April 7, 2013) Portland Attorney and Beerchaser of the First Quarter of 2013, Jim Westwood, and I hit Tanker for dinner and a nightcap.

You might remember that Westwood has advanced linguistic skills and his late and wonderful mom, Catherine, happened to be both his and my Latin teacher at Oregon City High School, which was fortunate that night.

While the only Latin words I remember – understandably never successful in high school or college as a pick-up line – were “pulchra puella” (beautiful girl), Jim translated the Latin phrase used in Tanker’s coat-of-arms below, which is a very appropriate motto:

And who says High School Latin was not a useful course??

And who says High School Latin was not a useful course??

“In heaven there is no beer, so that’s why we drink it here.”

That promoted discussion of the converse assertion, which we decided should be, “In hell, you can drink all the beer you want, but there’s none available except Keystone Light.”

Tanker has pinball machines, Pacman Battle Royale, and as one might expect, the Big Buck Hunter Safari video game.  According to the Willamette Week 2010 Drink Guide, “….the nautically themed waterhole has the most avid followers of the game (in Portland).” 

A game in which one tries to shoot the life out of galloping electronic gazelles led me to question Jim about his prior legal work in Oregon Firearms Education Foundation v. State Board of Higher Education, a 2011 case regarding regulation of firearms on Oregon university campuses.

The real type of pinball machine

The real type of pinball machine

While the Oregon Court of Appeals ruled against Jim’s client being able to regulate guns by Administrative Rule, the court opened the door by affirming the State Board of Higher Education’s authority to control its property.  This enabled the Board in 2012 to unanimously adopt a policy that bans guns from most corners of campus life.

Mandatory Background Checks for BBH as a start???

Mandatory Background Checks for BBH as a start???

I suggested that possibly a reasonable first-step towards rational gun control policy would be to persuade Wayne LaPierre, of the NRA, to agree to support mandatory background checks for people who play Big Buck Hunter.

Possibly a good strategy, but he would undoubtedly bemoan government intrusion while asserting that the Founding Fathers intended the Second Amendment to include electronic weapons and besides, Big Buck Hunter provides a training ground for a well-regulated militia.

Distinguishing Characteristics

Naughty Bingo on Tuesday nights:  As described in a Tanker review: “Win Adult novelties playing bingo……drink discounts as well as a signature cocktail list featuring The Naughty Bingo Martini. Everybody wins something.”

Name Your Tall Boy!

Name Your Tall Boy and Join the Can Clan….

Tall Boys and Whiskey Selection:
Besides their 15 Taps, Tanker has 42 different varieties of Tall Boys and more than 30 whiskeys.
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Drink one of each type of Tall Boy and you become a member of the “Can Clan” and get a free t-shirt and a $1 perpetual discount.  The same is true once you have downed one shot of each of their 30 varieties of whiskey.
They have a lot of “regulars” for the variety of events they host and feature Trail Blazer and Portland Timber games on their five big-screen TVs with drink discounts.
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And While we are on the Subject, A Brief Tribute to My Favorite Tanker….

Garmo cadet pictureThebeerchaser’s brother, Garry, was a West Point (Class of 1972) graduate who chose the Armored Cavalry i.e. Tanks, as his occupational specialty.  During his time at West Point, he was a member of the West Point Glee Club and a small combo in that group called The Headliners

As the picture below shows, they played at the White House for President Nixon and also appeared on the Mike Douglas show on CBS national television.                        

"Don't worry, Cadets, your performance has been recorded....."

“Don’t worry, Cadets, your performance has been recorded…..” (Cadet Williams to the immediate left of Nixon)

Garry had billets at Fort Bliss in Texas, Fort Knox in Kentucky (where the CO was George Patton V) and an extended assignment in Schweinfurt, Germany.  He was an outstanding junior officer during his six years in the Army as this excerpt from a 1974 fitness report, written by a Colonel, demonstrates:

“Lt. Williams judgment is of the highest order – totally dedicated to improving his subordinates – devoted to his duty and the battalion. 

He has a perspective and understanding which far exceed any other officer in his battalion….He is the best young officer I have ever known. His talents are so far beyond those expected of even the most outstanding officer that no narrative can do him justice.”

“Soldier, obviously you haven’t heard of the slogan, ‘Don’t Tread on Me.'”

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After the military he worked at Tektronix for several years and married a beautiful lady named Pam.  Unfortunately, Garry died in 1989, but this post and a round of beer is dedicated to his memory.

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When you’re in the Stumble Zone, give Tanker a try even if it is not on a Naughty Tuesday Night.  As one Barfly reviewer summed up quite succinctly, “good bar, good times, good vibe…”And the food was good too – ask for the chicken quesadilla which Jessie cooked himself and was one of a number of good items on Tanker’s menu.

Jessee, the Bartender and Thebeerchaser logo
Jesse, the Bartender and Thebeerchaser logo

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Tanker        4825 SE Hawthorne

Belmont Station – 1,000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall – You Take One Down and Pass it Around…..

Thebeerchaser at the entrance to Belmont Station

Thebeerchaser at the entrance to Belmont Station

Thebeerchaser teetered on the brink of Beer Tour malpractice when initially confusing The Belmont Inn (see Beerchaser review on March 18, 2013) with the Belmont Station. Since the latter was recently named by Draft Magazine as one of the top one hundred beer bars in the US for 2012, I reasoned that any Tour of Portland Bars and Taverns mandated a visit. It joined five other Portland pubs in sharing that ranking.

Of course, any rational person could have made the same mistake since Belmont Station has been on Stark Street since about 2007. Lease issues which arose in its original home (1997), forced the move from Belmont Street, and they retained the original name.

Princeton graduate, accomplished singer and beer drinker, Dave Hicks
Princeton graduate, accomplished singer and beer drinker, Dave Hicks

My companion that night when we hit both the Horse Brass Pub (review to be forthcoming and also one of Drafts 100 best) and Belmont Station was Dave Hicks, a San Francisco consultant, with whom Thebeerchaser worked while a law firm COO before retiring to tour bars and taverns in 2011.

Hicks remains a good friend and is both a cum laude 1986 Princeton University undergraduate and a lawyer who graduated from University of San Diego Law School including a semester studying law in Paris.

There are Ivy League grads with whom you wouldn’t even want to have a water-cooler conversation; however, Hicks is a guy that even President Nixon, with his aversion to Ivy League elitists, would have enjoyed having a beer, wiretapping his conversation or having as a traveling companion on his historic trip to China.

Hicks on the lookout for new pubs and taverns

Hicks on the lookout for new pubs and taverns

Besides being a good drinking companion, Dave (and his twin brother) are both accomplished singers and were members of the Princeton’s oldest and foremost a cappella singing group – the Princeton Nassoons where he sang bass.

He still sings at some alumni functions and birthday parties, etc., with a spin-off group, the NassauHallics, named for one of the main buildings on campus.  He has the good judgment not to participate in karaoke based on the premise that it was Japan’s retaliation for Hiroshima and Nagasaki….

Belmont Station is accurately described in the Willamette Week 2009 Drink Guide as follows: “This misleadingly named establishment which moved four blocks north from its original home on SE Belmont Street two years ago, is deservedly famous for its stock of 1,000-odd beers, plus sundry wines, ciders and meads. But the Station, which is owned, in part, by legendary Horse Brass publican, Don Younger, doesn’t get nearly enough credit for its attached bar. It’s a cheerful, narrow space dominated by the long wooden bar and dozen rotating, mostly local taps.”

While the Belmont Station Biercafe’ is a very nice neighborhood bar and the attached bottle shop is very impressive based on the breadth of its inventory, it does raise the question: “What makes it one of the top 100 bars in the United States? 

Wall decorations are a nice touch in the bar.

Beer signs as wall decorations are a nice touch in the bar.

Having reviewed several other bar/bottle shops on this blog including “Bottles” (July 2012) and “1856,” (December 2012), I would rate Belmont Station as comparable although probably having a slightly more varieties of alcoholic brew. It also advertises itself as the first beer bottle store in the Northwest.”

It can be assumed that other bottle shops have similar practices, but Belmont Station also differentiates itself because its bottles have “been thoughtfully selected, meticulously rotated, and
properly stored under UV-filtered light.”  
Of course a selection of 1,200 different brews  raises the question as to how many different brands of beer is adequate – 50 or 175 or 650, or …..? 

In college, for example, when it was not available in Oregon because of pasteurization issues, we considered the student who brought back one case of Coors to be a hero.  Personally, I would be satisfied with at least 25 options as long as PBR is a choice…….but then I am an aficionado of bars, taverns and pubs and not of beer itself.

A possible validation of the claim, "Portland's Premier Beer Bottle Shop!"

Can you find me a Coors???

Perhaps the following January 2011 review from Yelp provides some insight:

“If you opened up a beer store in L.A., it probably wouldn’t last a month, but folks in Portland love their beer. In the PNW, drinking beer is more than just pouring a 12 pack of fizzy yellow swill down your throat until you puke.

People appreciate a fine crafted brew and will spend good money for a unique beer drinking experience….(Belmont Station) is one of the best bottle shops I’ve visited.”

Besides the inordinate variety of bottled beers and ciders, sixteen excellent beers on tap.

Besides the inordinate variety of bottled beers and ciders, sixteen excellent beers on tap.

The Biercafe, adjacent to the bottle shop, has sixteen very good and mostly local beers on tap. I chose the $7 “Flight of the Day,” featuring samples of four different beers, which that night included:

Agrarian Ale’s “Chronic D’ Aphotic“, Natian’s “Elephante India Red Ale“, Bear Republic Brewery’s “Cafe’ Racer 15“, all of which were very good, and Lagunitas Brewery’s “Gnarlywine,” which had a “potent toffee and caramel flavor” and was a little rich for my taste.  The Agrarian was my favorite and I enjoyed the combination of “five of the farm’s most resinous hop varieties with organic oats and roasted malt – a full bodied hoppy delight.”

Pliny the Elder - great Roman intellect.  (He probably drank wine but at least had a beer named after him.

Pliny the Elder – great Roman intellect. (He probably drank wine but at least had a beer named after him.

 

Dave Hicks chose the creatively titled Pliny the Elder Pale Ale by the Russian River Brewery, named after Pliny the Elder, the Roman author, naturalist and philosopher in addition to being a naval and army commander.  His death near Pompei, was a result of the eruption of Vesuvius.  This excellent Double India Pale Ale also inspired Dave to hum a very melodic Secular Ode of Horace while he was drinking it.

Belmont Station has a nice menu of pub-type food available from 3:00 until 10:00 PM, including snacks such as chips and salsa, hummus and cheese plates in addition to large deli-sandwiches, soups and pizzas.  Since we had already eaten, I didn’t get to try a curried potato “pie” that looked very interesting.

Our friendly bartender and Thebeerchaser logo

Our friendly Belmont Station bartender and Thebeerchaser logo

Thebeerchaser will visit the other five bars in Portland that made Draft Magazine’s top 100; however, having reviewed over fifty establishments on the Beer Tour since 2011, a bar or pub may be analogous to a steak dinner – “Even when it’s bad, it’s pretty good” – especially when you have a good drinking buddy along for the ride.

Beers at Beer?

The Entrance to Beer - the Bar

The Entrance to Beer – the Bar

The name of a bar or tavern will often reveal much about the owner or the environment of the establishment.  Such is the case with “Beer,” a new pub opened last December at 1410 SE Stark Street.  Just researching the pub for this blog, shows part of the dilemma.  If one searches “Beer,” using Google, your computer screen will show 556 million possible hits for the term!

The cordial owner of Beer and Meat Cheese and Bread

John Stewart, the cordial owner of Beer and Meat Cheese and Bread

Finding their website (there is none) or even reviews for Beer was problematic as the owner, John Stewart, admitted.  He may want to consider this a marketing issue because he has a nice little neighborhood tavern waiting for new patrons and deserving them.

Even the sheet listing the take-out beers, which is extensive, did not have an address or phone number.  In addition, the only visible external sign on the street is very innocuous.

Just a few of the interesting beer labels which enhance the ambiance of Beer

Just a few of the interesting beer labels which enhance the ambiance of Beer

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One review suggested just Googling “beer Portland,” however, that didn’t work either although it did reveal that Portland State University is now offering a new on-line course in craft beer brewing.

Solving the World's Problems appropriately...!

Solving the World’s Problems appropriately…!

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This is not to suggest that naming a tavern to commemorate beer is not virtuous.  As one pundit opined, “One does not solve the world’s problem over white wine.”

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That night, I was accompanied by my friend, Portland attorney Jim Westwood, who besides being a veteran and skilled lawyer was recently honored with the distinction of being this blog’s Beerchaser of the Quarter for January – March 2013.  Follow the link to see the write-up which includes a summary of the Portland State College team for the GE College Bowl TV show.  Jim was the captain of that team in the 1960’s.

The intensity of their successful preparation for that show by renowned PSC (now PSU) speech professor, the late Ben Padrow, still had an impact on my drinking buddy that night.  He would periodically hit a glass with a spoon and yell out as the bartender walked by, “I’ll try a toss-up Bob,” (for Bob. Earle, the host of the show.)

Jim Westwood drinking beer at Beer…an advanced cerebrum is evident.  Still quick on the up-take for toss-up questions…..

Since there was no one in the bar from the other college to respond, he would then proceed to spout facts about such diverse topics as esoteric Renaissance art, differential equations or landmark Supreme Court decisions.  For example, he queried, Angie the bartender, wondering if the Higgs Boson (God Particle) really “mattered.”  Angie, was appropriately dismissive in her response by asking, “When will the rhetorical questions ever end?”

Beer is a small venue (previously a salon) with only about thirty seats – about twelve or so along the nice long bar, at small tables scattered throughout the long – thin rectangular setting.

A nice part of the de'cor

A nice part of the de’cor

They have ten beers on tap.  Jim had a Little Saison from Pfriem Brewery in Hood River and I had a Two Dogs IPA from Portland’s Coalition Brewery (see the link for Beerchaser review.

True to its values, Beer does not serve hard liquor and there is no food served – not a problem, however, since one can order a great sandwich from Meat, Cheese and Bread, the sandwich shop next door, until 7:00 P.M.  John Stewart also owns the sandwich shop and will probably expand hours in the summer.  Food can also be brought in from any of the nearby establishments.

The sandwich shop next door is great for food to consume at Beer

The sandwich shop next door is great for food to consume at Beer

If you don’t care for one of the draft beers, just pick out any of the 80 to 100 bottled beers or ciders listed on their menu.  They are cheaper to take out than drink on site although why not do both? Stewart says that many customers have a pint at the bar and then take some home.

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An extensive list of beers at the bar or to go.

An extensive list of beers and ciders at the bar or to go.

While Beer may be a little bit of a challenge to locate, it is definitely worth a visit.  And while you’re at this sterling example of a Portland neighborhood bar, hoist a mug and toast Jim Westwood, the first Beerchaser of the Quarter for 2013.

Beer                             1410 SE Stark Street

Angie the Bartender

Angie the Bartender with Thebeerchaser logo