Thebeerchaser’s 2014 Annual Report

Thebeerchaser on one of the three visits to his favorite 2014 bar - Crackerjacks in NW Portland

Thebeerchaser on one of the three visits to his favorite 2014 bar – Crackerjacks in NW Portland

During the twenty-five years I worked at my favorite law firm (Schwabe Williamson & Wyatt P.C.) the frantic end-of-year financial and compensation activities culminated with preparation for the auditors in the new year.  We had good auditors, but this combat analogy seems fitting: “Auditors are those who arrive after the battle and bayonet the wounded.”

The Original Beerchaser Logo

The Original Beerchaser Logo

Fortunately, there is no similar pressure in the blogging world.  The gurus at WordPress prepared a 2014 Annual report for this blog – replete with graphics and interesting statistics. You can see a summary below which will supplement my own reflections.  But first some context:

Thebeerchaser Tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs commenced in August 2011 – about six months after I retired as the COO of the law firm.  I had a great career working with lawyers at Schwabe, the Oregon State Bar and in local government, but I was ready for new adventures.  And so with great deliberation, I considered many options.   Based on stringent criteria, it was narrowed to two:

Public Domain - National Park Service - 9/14/2009 Wikimedia Commons (http:///en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Pacific Crest Trail -logo.jpg)

Public Domain – National Park Service – 9/14/2009 Wikimedia Commons

Either hiking the length of the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) or making a tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs and blogging about them.  My due diligence involved reviewing past backpacking trips.  Reflecting on these pictures of a hiking trip with my two brothers and brother-in-law on the Eagle Creek Trail in the late ’70’s added perspective.

Cheryl Strayed would be proud!!

Cheryl Strayed would be proud!!

 

 

 

I then visited the watering hole that was the inspiration for this hobby – a great dive bar in Dundee named Lumpy’s Landing.  There were many similarities to the two options – the 2,663 mile hike or the multi-year bar tour.

Regrouping at Wahtum Lake after a day of backpacking in the '70's. The Williams boys - Rick, Garry and Don

Regrouping at Wahtum Lake after a day of backpacking in the ’70’s

First, both require use of a compass or GPS to get to remote and sometimes obscure locations not adequately marked with signs and not generally seen as desirable by others.

Secondly, the subpar menu for each option would not be the diverse and tasty culinary delights one is used to at home.  (Example: Kiskie’s powdered eggs on the trail and Hot Mama sausages or pickled hard-boiled eggs – a staple at most dive bars.

Aged to perfection.... but better than powdered eggs
Aged to perfection…. but better than powdered eggs

 

Darwin's Theory - A magnificent Anchorage Alaska dive bar

Darwin’s Theory – A magnificent Anchorage Alaska dive bar – try the free popcorn

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, it all “boiled down” to liquid.  In order to avoid the gastro-intestinal distress of giardia, purifying all water by filter, tablets or boiling is required on the PCT.  However, only a few dive bars would require this step on a Bar Tour.

The Ship Tavern - might want to try PBR instead of the water

The Ship Tavern – might want to try PBR instead of the water

And when dive bar potability issues are manifest, there is always PBR – usually cold although at other temperatures still a good option.  (This provides a good chance to take umbrage with an Oregonian movie reviewer who used the following inappropriate analogy when panning a 2014 film:  ….But it had all the zing of a can of flat Pabst.”)   

Good at any temperature!

Good at any temperature!

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Necessary admonition in Eastern Oregon bar (Burns, Oregon)

 

 

 

 

 

So the bar option was chosen and initiating Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Portland  Bars, Taverns and Pubs was a wonderful decision.  My initial intent to restrict this journey to just Portland venues was soon discarded.

Thus, followers of this blog have seen reviews of bars in Europe, Alaska, the Oregon Coast, Eastern Oregon, Washington and Colorado (18 visited but not yet posted).

Thebeerchaser enjoying the scenery and a brewski outside the Horner Tavern in laldll Switzerland

Thebeerchaser enjoying the scenery and a brewski outside the Horner Pub in Lauterbrunneen, Switzerland

So three years and five months later, what has been accomplished keeping in mind my forty-years in management were often focused on performance metrics?

In the chart below, the right column is the average number of days between bar reviews for each year although it should be kept in mind that a repeat visit to each bar is generally the case to ensure accurate reporting and not reflected.

Year Days Bar Reviews Avg. Days
2011 146 8 18.3
2012 366 24 15.3
2013 365 29 12.6
2014 365 34 10.7
1242 95 13.1
Stay tuned in 2015 for the Colorado beer tour details

Stay tuned in 2015 for the Colorado beer tour details

Thus you can see that intensity has increased each year and while I do not want to regress to GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles), the statistics are not accrual-based i.e. there are 18 bars and micro-breweries we visited in a wonderful fall 2014 trip to Colorado that aren’t included in the count and will be posted in early 2015.  This is also a good time to multi-task with both a bar and accountant joke:

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ‘Want to hear an accountant joke?  The guy next to him replies, ‘Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and make me living as an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant too. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?’

The first guy says, ‘No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.’

That said, those who are interested in statistics (like the drunk using a lamppost – more for support than illumination…) may be interested that the standard deviation from the mean during those four years is 3.27 days demonstrating reasonable volatility and thus stability in frequency of visits.

Beerchasing on the Central Oregon Coast

Beerchasing on the Central Oregon Coast at the Tide Pool Inn in Depoe Bay

So before I conclude by briefing you on the venues visited during 2014, take a look at Thebeerchaser’s Annual Report compiled by WordPress.  I am most proud that in December, the blog surpassed the 40,000 views threshold – from those searching the internet in 115 countries – even those where a limb or appendage might be cut off if you are caught drinking my favorite beverage.

The report below also does not mention the distinguished individuals I have tried to recognize with the designation “Beerchaser of the Quarter”  – an eclectic group ranging from war heroes I know personally to authors to academicians to coaches and even the crew of the USS Constitution based on its famous albeit fictitious voyage in 1798.  A summary of these “honorees” for 2014 follows and to see the others, check out the blog.

 

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 18,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

 2014 Establishments Visited and Reveiwed

Beerchasing at Saraveza

Beerchasing at Saraveza

Now remember, the thirty-four venues visited in 2014 do not include the eighteen varied and wonderful bars and micro-breweries we had the privilege of frequenting on our Colorado trip this fall, but here’s the breakdown:

Dive Bars (9) – Club 21 and Sandy Hut in Portland, Nauti Mermaid, Old Oregon Saloon, Sportsman Pub and Grub on the Central Oregon Coast and Lumpy’s Landing in Dundee (a revisit from 2011). 

Club 21 - Would you believe a former Greek Orthodox Church?

Club 21 – Would you believe a former Greek Orthodox Church?

Neighborhood Bars (9) Stamtisch, Lost and Found, Bazi Bier Brasserie, Crackerjacks, Quimbys, Saraveza, Richmond and Nest in Portland and the Mad Dog Tavern in Newport on the coast.     

Outside Stamtisch - a great new NE bar - Laura Williams, Ryan Keen and Kenzie Larson
Outside Stamtisch – a great new NE bar – Laura Williams, Ryan Keen and Kenzie Larson

 

———————

Historic Bars (4) – Skyline Tavern in Portland, Bay Haven Inn and Snug Harbor on the Central Oregon Coast and Red Dog Saloon in Juneau, Alaska.

An Historic Newport  Oregon Bar

An Historic Newport Oregon Bar

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Sports  Bars (2) – Cheerful Bullpen and Marathon Taverna in Portland

—————–

Owner Amy, Denny Ferguson and Jessica at the Cheerful Bullpen

Owner Amy, Denny Ferguson and Jessica at the Cheerful Bullpen

Miscellaneous (4) – Sniff Café and Peda-lounge (not a bar per se’) in Portland, Oar House and Hoover’s on the Central Oregon Coast    

Multiple bars visited on the Pedaloung tour

Multiple bars visited on the Peda-lounge tour

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P1020604                 Brew Pubs (5)Roadhouse 101/Rusty Truck Brewery and the Pelican Brew Pub on the Central Oregon Coast and Haines Brewery, Glacier Brewhouse and Snow Goose Bar/Sleeping Lady Brewery in Alaska.

Bottle Shops (1) – BeerMongers in Portland

The BeerMongers - an excellent bottle shop

The BeerMongers – an excellent bottle shop

————————

Beerchasers of the Quarter – I am pleased to have spent time and chronicled the remarkable careers, contributions and charismatic personalities of the following individuals in 2014:

Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Enterprises
Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Enterprises

 Art Vandelay – Entrepreneur, lawyer, philanthropist and voted “Most Likely” at his high school alma mater.

————————–

Brian Doyle – Award-winning Northwest author and editor of Portland, the University of Portland’s outstanding and lauded quarterly publication.

Author and Editor, Brian Doyle, at The Fulsom Brew Pub

Author and Editor, Brian Doyle, at The Fulton Brew Pub

——————————-

Steve Lawrence – Attorney and now Mayor of The Dalles.  Awarded two bronze stars for service in the Viet Nam conflict.

Two Viet Nam heroes - Beerchaser of the Quarter 2014 Steve Lawrence and 2013 BoQ Jud Blakely
Two Viet Nam heroes – Beerchaser of the Quarter 2014 Steve Lawrence and 2013 BoQ Jud Blakely

 

Jack Faust – Attorney, award-winning Portland media personality and former military intelligence officer during the Korean conflict.

Portland Appellate Lawyer and Media Personality Jack Faust

Portland Appellate Lawyer and Media Personality Jack Faust

——

In a self-critique, I noted that during the last three years there have been no female recipients of Thebeerchaser-of-the-Quarter award.  Along with working on lowering the average days between bar visits, that will be a goal in 2015.  Stay tuned!!

While it’s not the Pacific Crest Trail, we will continue to blaze trails in the bar scene.  And for those who have discovered and frequent their own favorite Portland bars – ones that are not included in the 57 reviewed so far by Thebeerchaser, please let me know.  With some perseverance and effort, it may not take 10.7 days for me to get there.

Happy New Year

Lumpy's Landing on Highway 18 in Dundee - an inspiration!

Lumpy’s Landing on Highway 18 in Dundee – an inspiration!

Newport and Depoe Bay – Thebeerchaser Does the Central Oregon Coast – Part III

An Historic Newport Bar

An Historic Newport Bar

The third day of our Beerchasing sojourn on the Central Oregon Coast, we headed south from Lincoln City to Newport along beautiful Highway 101.  Dave, seeing the boiling foam from the surf stated, “That reminds me of the suds on a brewski and I’m looking forward to a beer.”

P1020630Our first stop was the historic Bay Haven Inn in Newport – a sanctuary over the years to many fishermen and loggers and also the set for the Snag Saloon in the Ken Kesey movie, “Sometimes a Great Notion,” filmed in Newport in the early ’70’s.  The establishment originally had an inn on the second floor – long gone, but the name of the bar has never changed.

Steve, the bartender who has worked there for three years after moving from Montana,  was friendly and helpful in telling us about this classic watering hole – he also shared some scrumptious smoked salmon – worth the trip to Newport alone.

Bartender Steve, Thebeerchaser and my favorite logo

Bartender Steve, Thebeerchaser and my favorite logo

We viewed the varied artifacts in the bar and absorbed the ambiance artfully described by Matt Love in his Letitpour Blog review from the 1990’s:

….beaten-to-a-pulp hardwood floors, fog-light lanterns, sea captain sculptures, deer trophies, a property seizure receipt from the National Marine Fisheries Service, a mounted octopus, an ancient outboard motor, plaques commemorating fisherman perished on the water and lots of wool-wearing, bearded drinkers at 1:00 P.M. on a weekday.” 

Eclectic interior design material.....

Eclectic interior design material…..

We also admired the sign which said, “I’ve been fishing so long, my worm is getting Social Security.” 

The Bay Haven is also the only bar I have visited in almost 100 venues, that had a horseshoe pit in the back – and there was an intense game in progress at 11:00 in the morning.  No corn-hole contests for these patrons!

 Steve told us that during rowdier times, the pit is closed as the horseshoes can become lethal weapons with some inebriated patrons – something that could happen if one guzzled a few of the featured Bay Haven cocktails including the Dead Nazi – (1 oz. Jagermeister + 1 oz. Peppermint Schnapps) a bargain at $6.

Prior to three years ago, they did not serve hard liquor – evidenced by the sign captioned, “Soup of the Day — Whiskey.”  They also have a full menu.

 

Potential lethal weapons for those with blurred vision

Horse-shoes – Potential lethal weapons for those with blurred vision

A final story (“The best drinking hole story on the Oregon Coast for all time…”) from Matt’s blog that should be told, relates to Paul Newman, who directed and was the star of the aforementioned movie:

“….with the cast and crew of the movie staying in Newport, the man (who told Matt the story) drank in a dive tavern in the rugged timber town of Toledo, eight miles east……Enter Paul Newman carrying a chainsaw, exactly like the hard-ass logger character, Hank Stamper, he happened to be portraying…….

Wordless, alone, Newman, who according to various biographies……has at times drank to considerable excess, fired up his chainsaw.  He sawed the legs off the pool table.  It crashed to the floor.  Stunned logging locals looked on.  They did nothing.  Newman left, perhaps later sending a check to cover the damage. Perhaps not.”

What's in a name??

What’s in a name??

We traveled a few miles up the road along Yaquina Bay to Sawyers’s Landing and a delightful and idiosyncratic venue with a name that belies its history.  On the way, Steve saw a fishing boat and said, “Fishing reminds me of hoisting a brewski with friends, I’m looking forward to a beer.” 

And when we sat down at the bar in the Mad Dog Country Tavern, Steve immediately ordered a Sessions – which he fondly described as, “Like Coors Light – only with body.”   

Pauline - a good storyteller

Pauline – a good storyteller

Pauline, another of many cordial bartenders we met on the coastal journey, has worked at the tavern for 3.5 years.  She told us that her “regulars” are people from the adjoining RV Park, summer tourists and Newport residents.

Pauline’s story on the origin of the name of the bar – about 50 years ago –  was similar to Matt’s, but given his diligence with historical details, we will defer to the Letitpour.net blog account:

Historical significance.....

Historical significance……

“….Years ago, a large log rested in front of the tavern.  It has seatbelts attached to it.  In some sort of contest, certain patrons would strap themselves in and then proceed to consume a bottle(s) of a particular brand of fortified wine.  The “winner” remained sitting upright.  Thus Mad Dog Tavern.”  

Aged to perfection....

Aged to perfection….

———————

While we drank our beers and considered how long the pickled eggs and Hot Mama sausages in the jars had been fermenting, Pauline told us other stories.  One was about the wake for one of the regulars named Brenda.  Based on septic tank issues, all of the toilets in the bar backed up the day before the gathering, so they ordered 3 porta-potties, which “accommodated” the mourners that afternoon.

We sat stunned as a resident from the RV park next door came in, ordered a beer and asked Pauline for his “envelope” which she retrieved from the safe and counted out $125 in cash.  He sat down at a video poker machine and about 30 minutes later came back and said he needed the envelope again!

Aside from this one negative, Matt Love’s description stands, “The Mad Dog is so perfect and perfectly American..maybe not for the Drys, but definitely for us wets.”

After a good lunch at Ocean Bleu Seafoods and a walk along the Newport Bay, we made our last Newport stop – an innocuous little bar named Hoovers Bar and Grill – just south of the Yaquina Bay Bridge on Highway 101.  P1020652

We noticed an interesting portrait of a women with a semi-exposed breast – allegedly given to the owner by Gracie, the founder of the Sea Hag Restaurant in Depoe Bay and a sign promoting their jello-shots stating, Jello isn’t just for kids…,” , We then were fortunate to hear the history of the bar related by Amy, the granddaughter of the owner.  

A one-time petting zoo -- oh wait.....!

A one-time petting zoo — oh wait…..!

Evidently, the building became Alice’s Tavern in 1978, but that was after the mini-mart, gas station and petting zoo with a live alligator and black bear was decommissioned.

We listened in fascination to a fellow sitting next to us at the bar from Minnesota arguing in a heated cell-phone conversation that he had been promised a gig on a NOAA ship out of Newport as first mate.  We also sat appalled as a kid who couldn’t have been more than 18 or 19 sitting right behind us, burned through $70 on a video poker machine in no more than 15 minutes.

Oh yes, another intriguing sign appeared to be a dated – but authentic – advertising Caroline’s Topless Charter Service,  – a former Newport “sport-fishing” option that offered three-hour expeditions for $75 and all-day trips for $100.  Perhaps this approach to “bosom fishing” ran its course, because the bartender told us they were no longer in business.

P1020655We headed north, and since to that point I had been the designated driver, I said after seeing a pool of stagnant water along the road, “That reminds me of PBR and I’m looking forward to drinking a beer in Depoe Bay.”

We decided to pass on an option to stop at O’Downey’s Irish Pub in Depoe Bay based on the premise that Sheperd’s Pie and Irish Stew might be not be a coastal culinary special, but found our way to a wonderful, albeit dilapidated building just north of Depoe Bay housing The Tide Pool – a former video store and laundromat – now a great dive bar.

Maybe in Dublin, but not in Depoe Bay....

Maybe in Dublin, but not in Depoe Bay….

Our bartender was Vicki – also the owner – and she was emphatic about her pizza being the best on the Oregon coast.  Dave and Steve agreed and their order was faster than the sign posted by the kitchen i.e. “Same day service on most food orders…”

Both of them got into the spirit by purchasing Tide Pool t-shirts.  Vicki told us about going to “Take Your Kid to Work Day,” when she lived in Iowa as a child and her dad worked in a slaughter house……

 P1020662

P1020668

The girls resting after a day of charter fishing and conversing with Steve

The mementos and brick-a-brack in the bar was superb ranging from artifacts such as a huge dead lobster from the former Depoe Bay Aquarium to a life raft recovered from the New Carissa, to a picture of three bare-breasted nymphs – a recurring theme in the bars along the coast although perhaps these had been employees of the now defunct Carloline’s Topless Charters.

As Matt Love opined in his blog post, “What a joint!  For starters it was practically a labyrinth with all sorts of weird angles, alcoves and passages.” 

Standing guard

Standing guard

 

 

 

 

 

This included a narrow passage into the video poker and pool room – in which there was a second bar and a battered, legless, facially tattooed, mustached mannequin in a bright red shirt stood guard.

P1020666

But perhaps the highlight was what Matt described as “a salt-water glass coffin called the Tank of Death.  It is packed with all manner of marine creatures caught by local fishermen who bucket in their curious finds and dump them in.  Eels, crabs, sea bass, perch, Dick Cheney, octipi and urchins all end up in the mix……….

P1020670

Beware — The Tank of Death!

  

According to the bartender, aquatic creatures regularly stage a battle royal to the death and the tank serves as a Roman arena of savagery and merciless predation  – with bets slapped down and accelerated drinking when the water turns a creamy, cloudy red.”   

 

The Tide Pool was one of our favorite watering holes and one to which we will return.  And thanks to Matt Love’s outstanding blog – Letitpour.net – which has not lost its value even though not active anymore.

P1020664Filled with a strong appreciation for the tales and history of the Oregon Coast, we headed north to Lincoln City for dinner – it was Senior Night at the buffet at Chinook Winds Casino….   P1020673

 

Steve, Vicki and Dave with Thebeerchaser logo

Steve, Vicki and Dave with Thebeerchaser logo

 

Buying into the program…..