Thebeerchaser’s 2014 Annual Report

Posted on January 2, 2015 by Thebeerchaser

Thebeerchaser on one of the three visits to his favorite 2014 bar – Crackerjacks in NW Portland

During the twenty-five years I worked at my favorite law firm (Schwabe Williamson & Wyatt P.C.) the frantic end-of-year financial and compensation activities culminated with preparation for the auditors in the new year. We had good auditors, but this combat analogy seems fitting: “Auditors are those who arrive after the battle and bayonet the wounded.”

The Original Beerchaser Logo

Fortunately, there is no similar pressure in the blogging world. The gurus at WordPress prepared a 2014 Annual report for this blog – replete with graphics and interesting statistics. You can see a summary below which will supplement my own reflections. But first some context:

Thebeerchaser Tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs commenced in August 2011 – about six months after I retired as the COO of the law firm. I had a great career working with lawyers at Schwabe, the Oregon State Bar and in local government, but I was ready for new adventures. And so with great deliberation, I considered many options. Based on stringent criteria, it was narrowed to two:

Public Domain – National Park Service – 9/14/2009 Wikimedia Commons

Either hiking the length of the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) or making a tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs and blogging about them. My due diligence involved reviewing past backpacking trips. Reflecting on these pictures of a hiking trip with my two brothers and brother-in-law on the Eagle Creek Trail in the late ’70’s added perspective.

Cheryl Strayed would be proud!!

I then visited the watering hole that was the inspiration for this hobby – a great dive bar in Dundee named Lumpy’s Landing. There were many similarities to the two options – the 2,663 mile hike or the multi-year bar tour.

Regrouping at Wahtum Lake after a day of backpacking in the ’70’s

First, both require use of a compass or GPS to get to remote and sometimes obscure locations not adequately marked with signs and not generally seen as desirable by others.

Secondly, the subpar menu for each option would not be the diverse and tasty culinary delights one is used to at home. (Example: Kiskie’s powdered eggs on the trail and Hot Mama sausages or pickled hard-boiled eggs – a staple at most dive bars.

: Aged to perfection…. but better than powdered eggs

Darwin’s Theory – A magnificent Anchorage Alaska dive bar – try the free popcorn

Finally, it all “boiled down” to liquid. In order to avoid the gastro-intestinal distress of giardia, purifying all water by filter, tablets or boiling is required on the PCT. However, only a few dive bars would require this step on a Bar Tour.

The Ship Tavern – might want to try PBR instead of the water

And when dive bar potability issues are manifest, there is always PBR – usually cold although at other temperatures still a good option. (This provides a good chance to take umbrage with an Oregonian movie reviewer who used the following inappropriate analogy when panning a 2014 film: “….But it had all the zing of a can of flat Pabst.”)

Good at any temperature!

Necessary admonition in Eastern Oregon bar (Burns, Oregon)

So the bar option was chosen and initiating Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs was a wonderful decision. My initial intent to restrict this journey to just Portland venues was soon discarded.

Thus, followers of this blog have seen reviews of bars in Europe, Alaska, the Oregon Coast, Eastern Oregon, Washington and Colorado (18 visited but not yet posted).

Thebeerchaser enjoying the scenery and a brewski outside the Horner Tavern in laldll Switzerland

Thebeerchaser enjoying the scenery and a brewski outside the Horner Pub in Lauterbrunneen, Switzerland

So three years and five months later, what has been accomplished keeping in mind my forty-years in management were often focused on performance metrics?

In the chart below, the right column is the average number of days between bar reviews for each year although it should be kept in mind that a repeat visit to each bar is generally the case to ensure accurate reporting and not reflected.

Year	Days	Bar Reviews	Avg. Days
2011	146	8	18.3
2012	366	24	15.3
2013	365	29	12.6
2014	365	34	10.7
	1242	95	13.1

Stay tuned in 2015 for the Colorado beer tour details

Thus you can see that intensity has increased each year and while I do not want to regress to GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles), the statistics are not accrual-based i.e. there are 18 bars and micro-breweries we visited in a wonderful fall 2014 trip to Colorado that aren’t included in the count and will be posted in early 2015. This is also a good time to multi-task with both a bar and accountant joke:

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ‘Want to hear an accountant joke? The guy next to him replies, ‘Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and make me living as an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant too. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?’

The first guy says, ‘No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.’

That said, those who are interested in statistics (like the drunk using a lamppost – more for support than illumination…) may be interested that the standard deviation from the mean during those four years is 3.27 days demonstrating reasonable volatility and thus stability in frequency of visits.

Beerchasing on the Central Oregon Coast at the Tide Pool Inn in Depoe Bay

So before I conclude by briefing you on the venues visited during 2014, take a look at Thebeerchaser’s Annual Report compiled by WordPress. I am most proud that in December, the blog surpassed the 40,000 views threshold – from those searching the internet in 115 countries – even those where a limb or appendage might be cut off if you are caught drinking my favorite beverage.

The report below also does not mention the distinguished individuals I have tried to recognize with the designation “Beerchaser of the Quarter” – an eclectic group ranging from war heroes I know personally to authors to academicians to coaches and even the crew of the USS Constitution based on its famous albeit fictitious voyage in 1798. A summary of these “honorees” for 2014 follows and to see the others, check out the blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 18,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

2014 Establishments Visited and Reveiwed

Beerchasing at Saraveza

Now remember, the thirty-four venues visited in 2014 do not include the eighteen varied and wonderful bars and micro-breweries we had the privilege of frequenting on our Colorado trip this fall, but here’s the breakdown:

Dive Bars (9) – Club 21 and Sandy Hut in Portland, Nauti Mermaid, Old Oregon Saloon, Sportsman Pub and Grub on the Central Oregon Coast and Lumpy’s Landing in Dundee (a revisit from 2011).

Club 21 – Would you believe a former Greek Orthodox Church?

Neighborhood Bars (9) – Stamtisch, Lost and Found, Bazi Bier Brasserie, Crackerjacks, Quimbys, Saraveza, Richmond and Nest in Portland and the Mad Dog Tavern in Newport on the coast.

: Outside Stamtisch – a great new NE bar – Laura Williams, Ryan Keen and Kenzie Larson

———————

Historic Bars (4) – Skyline Tavern in Portland, Bay Haven Inn and Snug Harbor on the Central Oregon Coast and Red Dog Saloon in Juneau, Alaska.

An Historic Newport Oregon Bar

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Sports Bars (2) – Cheerful Bullpen and Marathon Taverna in Portland

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Owner Amy, Denny Ferguson and Jessica at the Cheerful Bullpen

Miscellaneous (4) – Sniff Café and Peda-lounge (not a bar per se’) in Portland, Oar House and Hoover’s on the Central Oregon Coast

Multiple bars visited on the Pedaloung tour

Multiple bars visited on the Peda-lounge tour

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Brew Pubs (5) – Roadhouse 101/Rusty Truck Brewery and the Pelican Brew Pub on the Central Oregon Coast and Haines Brewery, Glacier Brewhouse and Snow Goose Bar/Sleeping Lady Brewery in Alaska.

Bottle Shops (1) – BeerMongers in Portland

The BeerMongers – an excellent bottle shop

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Beerchasers of the Quarter – I am pleased to have spent time and chronicled the remarkable careers, contributions and charismatic personalities of the following individuals in 2014:

: Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Enterprises

Art Vandelay – Entrepreneur, lawyer, philanthropist and voted “Most Likely” at his high school alma mater.

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Brian Doyle – Award-winning Northwest author and editor of Portland, the University of Portland’s outstanding and lauded quarterly publication.

Author and Editor, Brian Doyle, at The Fulsom Brew Pub

Author and Editor, Brian Doyle, at The Fulton Brew Pub

——————————-

Steve Lawrence – Attorney and now Mayor of The Dalles. Awarded two bronze stars for service in the Viet Nam conflict.

: Two Viet Nam heroes – Beerchaser of the Quarter 2014 Steve Lawrence and 2013 BoQ Jud Blakely

Jack Faust – Attorney, award-winning Portland media personality and former military intelligence officer during the Korean conflict.

Portland Appellate Lawyer and Media Personality Jack Faust

——

In a self-critique, I noted that during the last three years there have been no female recipients of Thebeerchaser-of-the-Quarter award. Along with working on lowering the average days between bar visits, that will be a goal in 2015. Stay tuned!!

While it’s not the Pacific Crest Trail, we will continue to blaze trails in the bar scene. And for those who have discovered and frequent their own favorite Portland bars – ones that are not included in the 57 reviewed so far by Thebeerchaser, please let me know. With some perseverance and effort, it may not take 10.7 days for me to get there.

Happy New Year

Lumpy’s Landing on Highway 18 in Dundee – an inspiration!

Thebeerchaser Does the Central Oregon Coast – Part I

Posted on September 23, 2014 by Thebeerchaser

Last year, Thebeerchaser, joined by friends Dave Booher and Steve Larson, toured Eastern Oregon for four days visiting bars, taverns and pubs from Madras and Prineville to Baker City, LaGrande to Burns – our favorite on the trip was the Central Pastime Tavern in Burns. (the link is to the review in 2013)

2013 – The Central Pastime in Burns

Although Thebeerchaser Tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs was originally confined to just the City of Roses, it has evolved — there have been posts on venues in Alaska, Europe and Eastern Oregon. We decided to tour the Central Oregon Coast (Pacific City to Newport) where we visited thirteen wonderful watering holes in 3.5 days.

Note: To digress slightly, I am pleased to report that Thebeerchaser Blog on September 19th surpassed 35,000 views since its inception in August 2011. Views in the last several months have averaged 1,500 and twice exceeded 2,000 and those interested in bars visit this site from countries all over the world.

For example, stats for the last two days show visitors from ten countries outside of the US including Brazil, the Russian Federation, New Zealand, Columbia, the United Kingdom, Sweden, Lebanon, etc. Perhaps future Beerchaser visits will hit watering holes in all of those countries! These are not spam, but people doing Google searches about bars, Bad Frog Beer, Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter such as author Brian Doyle, Mayor of the Dalles, Steve Lawrence and appellate lawyer, Jack Faust, etc.

Revisiting the venue where Thebeerchaser idea originated

On the way to the coast, we stopped for lunch and a brewski at Lumpy’s Landing in Dundee – the bar that spurred the idea for Thebeerchaser Tour four years ago when I decided to have nachos and a PBR with the locals.

I left pondering the premise — each bar has its own ambiance, history and regulars that deserve narration. Lumpy’s – known for its clever signs (see below), its burgers, live weekend music and colorful locals as evidenced by the dialogue we heard from two of them while we drank our $2.50 PBR Tall-boys and chowed down delicious burgers and hot dogs (they ran out of sauerkraut..).

Lumpy’s Philosophy

Local No. 1: “I’m really dragging today – just worn out.”

Local No. 2 – “You can’t stay here all day – you need some exercise. You need to get up and go to another bar.”

An engineering marvel – The Spruce Goose

———-

We added another stop on the way to Lincoln City – the Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum in McMinnville – and if you have never visited that incredible display of aviation history – you should do so before the bankruptcy of Evergreen International Inc. results in changes.

Which one is Tom Cruise???

Oh wait – that’s the Spirit of St. Louis made of Coors Light cans in the Sportsman Pub in Pacific City – not the Evergreen Museum.

Our three hours there were magnificent, including an iMax screening of a D-Day movie. Hundreds of planes from early gliders to a B-17 Flying Fortress, to jets, to a Titan II booster rocket and historical exhibits which will enthrall you.

The Old O

We hit Lincoln City in the early evening and our first visit was right in Lincoln City on Highway 101 – the Old Oregon Tavern. Now before we start relating our adventures in this pub, Thebeerchaser needs to give credit to a comrade-in-arms, of sorts.

That would be Matt Love, a former Lincoln City teacher, who for a number of years had a wonderful blog about bars on the Oregon coast – a Beerchaser-on-the-Shore. He now lives in Astoria and discontinued his blog in 2004, but has written several books. You should check out “Let it Pour” with the link since a number of venues are still active and he has great reviews.

The Old Oregon – Let the Good Times Roll

I came across his blog when researching our trip and his descriptions of many of the places we hit are wonderful and compelling. For example, this excerpt from his post on The Old Oregon Tavern:

“(It’s) a damn fine gritty place to drink beer – a lot of beer….The regulars call it The Old O and after spending time there over the years, I feel it is not too outrageous to suggest the nickname stands not only for The Old Oregon Tavern in Lincoln City — which it does — but really some of the patrons’ last long ago orgasm. Maybe the Johnson Administration.

Well maybe Carter or Reagan….but not Johnson..!

The interior of the Old O reflects the taste of the owners and its rich history as a tavern. According to one patron who smoked cigarettes (Matt wrote this before the 2009 law banning smoking) and drank beer while attached to a portable oxygen tank, the joint dates to World War II, but maybe earlier.”

Nancy, the bartender who has worked there for two years, told us that they had thirteen beers on tap. She also said the building was once Johnson’s Ice Cream Parlor. It has regulars playing pool, all of the great signs and mementoes that make a great old bar including some old peace signs – also from the Johnson era – and if you visit, make it on Tye Dye Tuesday.

Not to be taken literally….

And we noticed the planned wake for one of the regulars, Rod Dollar, who Nancy said had died suddenly of a heart attack. The sign beckoned his friends to “Come in and have a drink on Ron,” which we assumed was not to be taken literally since he had been buried the week before.

——————-

We met our first regular when a burly old guy with a white beard limped in and sat in the back. Nancy told us he was “Irish Mike McKenna,” and he was the “Local Ambassador,” for the Old O.

Irish Mike ordered a beer and just sat back and observed. I was wandering around and taking a bunch of pictures after we ordered our Rusty Truck IPA (very good – see below).

I looked back and Irish Mike was motioning for me to come see him which made me very nervous since I thought he was going to either yell at me or kick me out for taking pictures

however

As I headed back, he took a few bucks out of his wallet and handed me $2 when I got to him. He smiled and said, “It’s your turn to pick the song on the juke-box — Don’t screw it up!”

Irish Mike and Thebeerchaser at the Old O

Now a number of the bars we would visit in the next few days would have music collections that made one cringe.

As one crime novelist wrote, “You could chose between bad songs and terrible songs on the jukebox – a breathtaking array of pop hits, from the seventies, such as ‘Muskrat Love,’ that burrowed into you like a tick…” And selecting a Captain and Tenille song at the Old O might have caused a ruckus.

But the Old O’s music locker rocked…..My first pick was Tom Petty’s “American Girl,” followed by the Eagles, “Take it Easy.” Irish Mike seemed to approve (which pleased me a lot) and we left The Old O and its appropriate motto – “Where friends and family meet,” and headed south on 101.

Where Friends and Family Meet.

Tune in to Part II of the coastal journey as we hit Road House 101 – also in Lincoln City and home to the Rusty Truck Brewery which makes some good beers and a pub that has some great grub.

—————

Lumpy’s Landing 975 N Highway 99W Dundee

The Old Oregon Saloon 1604 NE Highway 101 Lincoln City

Crackerjack’s Pub – Open the Door and There’s a Prize Inside

Posted on April 14, 2014 by Thebeerchaser

Thebeerchaser at Crackerjack’s Pub in NW Portland

One of the joys of Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs, which commenced in 2011 and has resulted in review of over 60 establishments, is that it motivates one to discover hidden gems. While I have visited some classic venues such as The Goose Hollow, The Lutz, The Mockcrest Tavern, et. al., many have been neighborhood bars I never would have otherwise discovered. And some of them are the most memorable.

The Willamette Week annual "Bar Guide" - a great resource for Beerchasers.....

The Willamette Week 2014 “Bar Guide” – a great resource for Beerchasers…..

As evidence, consider one of my favorite resources, Willamette Week’s Annual Bar Guide. The just-published edition has 150 of the paper’s favorite bars (this included six strip clubs which Thebeerchaser does not review on this blog….). And only twenty-one of those visited by Beerchaser’s to this point, were in the 2014 listing. For context, remember that Portland has about 750 taverns!

Crackerjacks Pub and Eatery is a perfect example. Although it has been a gathering place at 28th and NW Thurman for fifteen years, it has never made the Willamette Week list.

While I don’t rank the bars I review, I can say that my two visits to Crackerjacks were among the most enjoyable of any since this journey commenced.

A Cheers-type Ambiance

A small-curved bar…

—–

It has a Cheers type of ambiance and Sam, the wonderful female bartender who made us feel like we were regulars on our initial trip, kidded me about my nickname – “Dirt,” which you can see on the logo above and the caricature below.

I don’t have enough space to explain how that moniker was bestowed my freshman year at the Oregon State SAE house. Suffice to say it was when I weighed 120 pounds and spent Saturday mornings running obstacle courses in an ROTC counter-guerilla training group called “Raiders.”

When I walked in a week later on my follow-up visit, Sam yelled so every patron could hear, “Dirt Williams is back!” It reminded me of the shouts of “Norm!” at the famous TV bar in Boston when he entered Cheers.

: The birth of “Dirt”

The following reviews – the first by The Portland Mercury and the other from City Search sum it up well:

“This longtime neighborhood pub sports everything a dive-bar aficionado requires: strong drinks, cheap happy hour specials, an easy balance of hipsters and old-timers, “sports” on the big screen—when I was there, MMA was being featured instead of the Winter Olympics… priorities and all—satisfying pub grub and pizza slices, ’80s music on the jukebox…

You can either plop down alongside the curved bar, or cram your pals into any of the spacious booths that sprawl throughout the establishment. Don’t forget to drink and laugh heartily. Crackerjack’s was dropped from the heavens for exactly this.” (Steven Humphrey)”

Memorabilia to enhance the environment

Or take this review from City Search:

“Neighborhood Pub the way it should be – Man, I love this place. I love the atmosphere, the owner, the servers and the food. I always feel like I’m at home. At a home with free pool and tasty little corndogs, mind you……I don’t know a better place to get a salad in a bar. And the patio is great for an afternoon beer.”

: Free Pool….

While Thebeerchaser is certainly no gourmet, one of the best parts of this bar was the food – excellent on both visits. My good friend and Beerchaser, San Francisco consultant, Dave Hicks, (see prior reviews of The Horse Brass Pub and The Belmont Station) and I watched two simultaneous NCAA Elite 8 games on the big screens.

Dave had an excellent hamburger and I had four pieces of delicious friend chicken and French fries for only $11.50. While they have twelve beers on tap, I opted for the LLL Pilsner in a bottle and Dave had a Dead Guy Ale.

: A hamburger rivaling anything at Princeton, NJ

: Scrumptious fried chicken

Dave went to undergraduate school at Princeton (his nickname was “Lucky”) and then to law school at the University of San Diego including a semester studying law in Paris. He honed his musical talents singing bass at Princeton in the famous a capella group The Nassoons.

One of the treats during our visit was the great line-up of ’70’s tunes being played on satellite radio – the line-up ranged from Steely Dan and Fleetwood Mac to Hall and Oates and the Eagles. Dave talked about his thrill of seeing them live at the LA Forum in January this year and meeting lead guitarist, Joe Walsh and his wife, Marjorie, back stage.

On my second visit, after a bowl of fantastic Portuguese bean soup, I had an amazing Southwest Chicken Salad – huge pieces of chicken and very little lettuce unlike the converse in most pubs’ version of this dish. According to Sam, they recently overhauled their menu and serve nothing that has been frozen. We asked to meet the cook and had the pleasure of greeting Jimmy, who has held the position for the last eight years.

Sam and Jimmy – Crackerjack’s ace cook.

——

About the only negative comments I could find were from a 2007 Yelp review, “..The fries are decent. The only problem is that the clientele’s average age is about 38. Kinda like ‘Cheers.’ I guess I should have picked a better fantasy.”

Okay – since a lot of this bar’s clientele are regulars and the above review was 7 years ago, logic dictates that the mean age has now risen to 45 – and I was a significant deviation from the mean! That maturity opens the door to reminisce just a bit about the original Cracker Jacks….

Still tasty, but instead of a decoder ring, a tiny decal…..

This delicious concoction of caramel popcorn and peanuts with Sailor Jack and his dog Bingo on the box were first sold at baseball games. Anyone attending a Major League game has mentioned the treat in the seventh inning stretch when singing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game“. On June 16, 1993, the 100th anniversary of Cracker Jack was celebrated at Wrigley Field.

Baby Boomer’s can remember the neat “prizes” in every box such as puzzles, baseball cards or decoder rings – now they are cheap decals. And speaking of decoder rings, this raised another great memory – Captain Midnight and his decoder rings a Saturday morning TV favorite…..

: Captain Midnight and the amazing decoder ring (Thanks to Jerome Holst and TVacres.com)

But if you want a prize inside that has not diminished in value, make a visit to Crackerjacks Pub. Open the door, walk in and tell Sam and Jimmy, “Dirt and Lucky sent us!”

Crackerjacks Pub and Eatery 2788 NW Thurman

(To view the map with all the bars reviewed by Thebeerchaser, click on the “View Larger Map” link at the bottom of the map below)

Beerchaser Miscellany – April 2014

Posted on April 7, 2014 by Thebeerchaser

: Beerchaser regular, John Mansfield in a margarita toast to the 95 Theses at Church Bar

Thebeerchaser.com

Views of this blog have now exceeded 26,000 since its commencement in August 2011. Average views per month during the last year are about 1,200 and there are now 53 Followers – folks who get an e-mail automatically every time there’s a new post. If you want to be in this esteemed group, click on the little black box in the bottom right of the screen and put in your e-mail address.

And one reason for getting more views – amazingly from all over the world (today there were hits from Canada, United Kingdom, Belgium, The Netherlands and Greece) – is the “tagging” in each post. For example, I tagged “Portland lawyer John Mansfield,” in my last post and several persons searching for him on Google came across his name and clicked on Thebeerchaser.com – something I’m sure that John appreciates as a marketing opportunity for his intellectual property law practice!

And since the blog’s statistics page showed that someone had searched on “Don Williams Drinks Beer,” I tried it myself and the screen came back with 3,260,000 potential hits – and “Don Williams Thebeerchaser” was first on the list. A lot of them were links to the country-western singer by the same name, who is also referred to as “The Gentle Giant.”

Not the Beerchaser, but The Gentle Giant probably also likes beer….

Some of these links were kind of interesting – like the one on page 10: “Confessions of an Ivy League Frat Boy.” It was about hazing at Dartmouth and Williams College. (To clarify, I was an Ag College Frat Boy.) Another hit was entitled, “Hops in Beer and Estrogen Level…..”

Lists…..Who cares!!???

I’ve always wondered about awards naming “the best” or lists with rankings – they are very questionable. Part of the skepticism is Thebeerchaser’s own example – named as “Wittiest” in 9th grade and “Most Likely to Succeed in High School” – no further evidence needed to affirm this theory….

The Bar at North Portland’s Saraveza

For example, this blog, while making very positive comments about Saraveza (reviewed in March 2014) – one of the five Portland bars again making Draft Magazine’s Top 100 Beer Bars in the USA, questioned the criteria and the same issue was raised by another repeat 100 Best Bar – Portland’s Bailey’s Taproom.

My recent visit impressed me with Bailey’s outstanding selection of beer and the expertise of the staff; however, the only food available had to be ordered from the restaurant across the street.

Bailey’s Taproom – another one of the five Portland beer bars in Draft Magazine’s Top 100

That same day, I went back to Crackerjack’s Pub, a quaint neighborhood dive bar in NW Portland, which is one of my all-time favorites since Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Portland Bars, Taverns and Pubs commenced.

Could it ever be a Top 100 venue? Stay tuned for reviews of both of these establishments.

Not in the Top 100, but an outstanding bar (review coming soon)

While lists may not be valid for some purposes, they are interesting. For example, as reported in an October, 2013 edition of The Week magazine, residents of North Dakota consume more beer than any other state – an average of 46 gallons last year, which is an increase of 9.5% and exceeding the 44 gallons of New Hampshire residents – No. 2 on the list.

West Linn – One of America’s Safest Cities

Not to belabor the point, but The City of West Linn, where I reside, was recently voted the 31st safest city in the US and according to Neighborhood Scout – a real estate service (which obviously is a credible source….) the safest city in Oregon.

Again, it raised question as to how this ranking was determined. Any doubt was laid to rest, however, when I read a few actual excerpts from past West Linn Police Reports in the West Linn Tidings. See below and you may also agree that “safest” may be synonymous with “boring” or perhaps in a few cases “crazy:”

City of West Linn logo

1/10 – Someone wrote “vulgar” in the dirt on a vehicle in the 1700 Block of Willamette Drive.

11/29 – A caller was frightened by a “round, bright, white light shining through the trees.” It was the moon.

11/29 – A suspicious man with a gas can asking for gas in the 4600 block of Elmran Drive really was out of gas.

8/26 – A man eating a bowl of cereal while driving ran a stop sign in 22900 block of Willamette Drive

8/26 Two suspicious men with a basketball were seen entering Midhill Park. Officers found them playing basketball.

10/26 – What appeared to be a severed leg in a driveway in the 19200 block of View Drive was really a Halloween decoration.

12/31 – A man walking out of tall grass near northbound I-205 at 10th Street seemed “odd.” In reality, he had run out of gas and was retrieving some.

At least one word of advice – “Keep a full tank of gas when you are in Oregon’s safest city!”

And for the curious, the safest city was Franklin, Massachusetts and the most dangerous, East St. Louis. Lake Oswego ranked number 84.

And speaking of weird headlines, I found the following in my collection:

“West Linn Man Cited for Hanging Dead Squirrel” – The Oregonian

“Death of 105-year old Milwaukie Man Investigated as Suspicious” – The Oregonian

Resourcefulness and Beer

: A liquid with multiple vocations….

The off-duty Houston firefighter was returning with his wife from a car trip when they spotted a large truck on fire – not a big fire but one that could spread. The truck was hauling beer.

The small fire extinguisher on the truck was not enough so they started “shaking and spraying cans of beer on the blaze and the fire went out.” This refutes the quote by the 19th century German who opined, “Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation.”

The Plover by Brian Doyle

The recent Beerchaser of the Quarter, Portland author, Brian Doyle – also the editor of the wonderful University of Portland’s Portland Magazine, with whom I recently had the pleasure of raising a mug at his favorite pub – The Fulsom Brew Pub, just had his most recent novel published.

Brian Doyle at The Fulsom Brew Pub

The Plover, is a nautical tale and the following reviews indicate that those who enjoyed Mink River or his wonderful short stories and essays, will be in for a good read:

“A rare and unusual book and a brilliant, mystical exploration of the human spirit.” Kirkus Reviews

“Doyle has written a novel in the adventurous style of Jack London and Robert Louis Stevenson but with a gentle mocking of their valorization of the individual as absolute. Readers will enjoy this bracing and euphoric ode to the vastness of the ocean and the unexpectedness of life.” Library Journal

Wait — Did you say “Handy Slut…..?”

Posted on February 7, 2014 by Thebeerchaser

The Sandy Hut – A great neighborhood/dive bar – not a restaurant

The outlandish and long purple building known as The Sandy Hut, looked intriguing when I passed it several months ago on the way to review another great Portland dive bar on Sandy Blvd. – The Slammer.

I was also surprised to learn the Voodoo Donuts has a second Portland location – Voodoo Too right across the street.

While the “Handy Slut,” as it is known to regulars and operating since 1923, has been missing for several years from my favorite bar reference guide – The Annual Willamette Drink Guide, the descriptions from these 2008-9 excerpts were still spot on:

2009 – “When people from outside the area—say, writers for The New York Times—think of Portland, they imagine we all look like the eclectic mix of customers at the Sandy Hut. Even post-smoking ban, if you look at the Sandy Hut in the right light, you can still feel the nicotine fog filling every cubic inch of the air.

It’s the sort of place you can wear a leather choke collar and no one will bat an eye, but a full suit and tie will lead to exclusion from the bar’s spontaneous bouts of insanity.”

A great group of “regulars”

2008 – “The Handy Slut, as regulars and the bar’s merchandise call it, is a lurid, windowless utopia. It looks like it once housed the Rat Pack—and hasn’t cleaned since the party ended.

The drinks pack enough alcohol to fuel a racecar, and often mere eye contact constitutes consent. The east side loves you, Sandy—you dirty little slut.”

Mansfield admiring the poster by on an exterior wall and wondering if it is copyrighted.

Mansfield admiring the Jackie Danger mural on an exterior wall and wondering if it is copyrighted.

———

One of Thebeerchaser’s most frequent and entertaining regulars, Portland lawyer, John Mansfield, (His firm’s slogan is “Smart Law – Smart Clients!”) accompanied me He was also present at The Slammer, Church, The Ship Tavern and Mock
Crest Tavern).

John, who focuses on Intellectual Property law and litigation, and I always have interesting conversations while raising our mugs, and the Sandy Hut was no exception, to wit:

He expressed concern about the proliferation of “patent trolls,” i.e. individuals or groups which buy obscure patents and then threaten lawsuits against hundreds or even thousands of people and businesses to coerce them to pay cash to make what is a specious lawsuit, go away.

: These patent trolls may have good costumes but did not graduate from accredited law schools

While John deplored the tactics, he did think it would be a kick to attend his next Halloween Party in a patent troll costume.

We also talked about innovative, but ill thought out patents, and as evidence, I showed him a news article to demonstrate:

“Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A & M, invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric during cold weather.”

The article goes on to state that, “At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the crap out of him.”

Four beers on tap and bottled and canned brews besides wine and cider

Four beers on tap and twelve bottled and canned brews besides wine and cider

We toasted these gents – me with a $2.00 PBR Tall boy (available all day) and John with a Lagunitas IPA, one of the four beers and one cider on tap at the Sandy Hut – they also have twelve canned and bottled beers. And don’t forget about the Jell-O Shots for a buck!

Christopher, our friendly and very well-informed bartender, explained their menu, which includes breakfast, a focus on Mexican food and the old pub standards such as burgers, pulled pork, fish and chips, etc. They also have a “lighter” menu that starts at 5:00.

: Christopher the bartender – helpful and competent

: “Breakfast” Burrito – gigantic and delicious…

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I had a very large and delicious Breakfast Burrito and John, thinking he was going to have to lose some weight to make it into a troll costume, chose the Mexican Wedge Salad – a two-thumbs up option.

Christopher also introduced us to the weekend cook, and touted the guy’s original tamale recipe – which is so popular, they have a brisk “to go” business.

One of the highlights of many dive bars – and The Sandy Hut was no exception – is the patrons and this old, but still accurate, Google Review by Andrew summed it up well:

Free shuffleboard and a number of video games

“Is it the dark, windowless dim lighted bar? Is it the jello shots? Is it the shuffle board? Is it the diverse group of people, from hipsters to old locals? (emphasis added) It has to be a mix of all of those factors because this is a great dive bar with a great bar staff and an amazing jukebox. The sum of the parts? A great, great time.”

Kevin – a friendly regular we sat next to at the bar epitomized this. He welcomed us and stated he has frequented the bar since 1979 when he moved from Phoenix. He said the bar is filled with people who work nearby or who live in the neighborhood. “These people take care of you,” Kevin stated – which seemed to include both the staff and the twelve to fifteen people sitting at the bar, including Kevin’s wife. He said there is a younger group who frequent the bar at night – we were there at about 5:30.

Kevin, John and Thebeerchaser Logo

I inquired what the NHRA logo (National Hot Rod Association) was on his coveralls and learned that he is a master mechanic at Gibson Auto and Electric (an independently family owned & operated business since 1983).

It’s a full-service shop but Kevin focuses on Porsches and the computer and electrical systems of other autos. John and I talked about buying Porsches just so we could attest to Kevin’s good work…..

The Sandy Hut makes good use of its roomy, long rectangular environ and has a pool table, free shuffle-board, a number of video games – including an imposing Golden Tee golf game by Incredible Technologies with a 47 inch flat screen.

Not a shirt – but you can test your iron play

Blazers 40 - Houston 55 in Third Quarter - it didn't get better

Blazers 41 – Houston 55 in Second Quarter – it didn’t get better

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You will also find four TVs including a 100-inch projector screen – which unfortunately amplified the poor play of the Blazers against the Houston Rockets (Lost 101 to 116) when we were there.

And don’t forget their juke box which, “….is internet based, so you can choose nearly any song you want to hear.”

The Juke Box is Internet-based so how about some Count Basie or Benny Goodman??

Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Portland bars, tavern and pubs which started in August of 2011, has visited some great dive bars and the Sandy Hut ranks up there with all of them.

And don’t forget to check out the interesting mural on the outside (see picture above) by California artist Jackie Danger. It reflects her “edgy and rebellious presence.”

The Sandy Hut 1430 Northeast Sandy Blvd (503) 235 7972

Thebeerchaser

Bars, Breweries and Watering Holes – An Exploration

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