Don’t Jump When You Can Dive!

Posted on February 2, 2024 by Thebeerchaser

Welcome back to Thebeerchaser. If you are seeing this post through an e-mail, please visit the blog by clicking on the title above to see all of the photos and the video at the end of the post and so the narrative is not clipped or shortened. (External photo attribution # at the end of the post. #1)

Those who follow Thebeerchaser blog know that I have an affinity for all watering holes, but a special fondness for dive bars. And of the 400+ establishments I’ve visited during my now twelve years pursuing this hobby, I’ve gravitated to the less refined rather than the more polished brewery or pub.

That said, I enjoy the atmosphere and camaraderie encountered in both although they are distinctly different.

There’s a distinct difference, but both are good!

Resources

Since I worked in a large Northwest regional law firm (Schwabe Williamson & Wyatt) for twenty-five years, I know both the need and the value of thoroughly researching one’s topic. When commencing my Beerchasing days, I had some outstanding authorities not only to educate me, but direct me to iconic dive bars in Portland, along the Oregon Coast and throughout the US – most notably in Colorado and Montana.

More recently these storehouses of bar erudition included Willamette Week’s “Deep Dive: Our Guide to More Than 40 of Portland’s Oldest, Dankest Dive Bars” and Portland Eater’s “The Ultimate Guide to Portland’s Iconic Dive Bars” – both on-line compendiums published in the last several months.

While I’ve not had a chance to do a “deep dive” in these publications, a cursory look indicates that I’ve been to slightly over 50% of those reviewed So I still have a lot to explore! (#2 – #4)

Photo Dec 28, 8 40 53 PM

The books shown in the photo above, although published years ago, were still wonderful guides in Colorado, but especially in Montana. I had an elucidating phone conversation with author, Joan Melcher, before commencing my solo road trip in Montana for six days in 2019.

During that span, I hit thirty bars and breweries, including my Beerchasing all-time favorite – The Dirty Shame Saloon in Yaak Montana.

Before moving on, I have to give special credit to my friend and prolific author, Matt Love, owner of the Nestucca Spit Press – a small publishing house on the Oregon Coast. Matt’s former blog Letitpour.net and his publication Oregon Tavern Age were both primary motivations for my Beerchasing hobby. (#5)

Matt Love (left) enjoying a beer with Jim Westwood and me at Falls View Tavern in 2021

Dive Bar Descriptions

One has to be careful in stereotyping what constitutes a dive bar. There may be a few adjectives or characteristics that typically apply, but in my exploits, I’ve found each one had its own ambiance, idiosyncrasies and traditions that made them unique.

Take the priceless description by Mike Seely in Seattle’s Best Dive Bars – Drinking and Diving in the Emerald City)

” “Some dives have vomit-caked toilet seats in the bathroom; others have cracked vinyl booths in the barroom. Some have nicotine-stained murals dating back to the Depression; others have drink prices that seemingly haven’t wavered since then…

…But really, no collection of characteristics can be melded to truly define what makes a bar a dive…..The term ‘dive’ is bestowed with a spoonful of love….What they have in common aren’t so much attributes, but a state of mind — you just know one when you see one.” (Seattle’s Best Dive Bars by Mike Seely – pages 9-10)

I save what I consider to be the quintessential descriptions of dives for ongoing reference. For example, one of my favorite Portland dive bars is Joe’s Cellar – I reviewed this watering hole in 2012, only one month after I started Thebeerchaser.com.

It helped set the standard. I loved this Yelp review:

“Dive bars can be a wonderful thing–I’m not talking about the type of place where you’re afraid of getting a shiv in the bathroom, but a comfortable, neighborhood establishment where locals go to enjoy each other’s company and a drink or five. Joe’s Cellar, thankfully, belongs in the latter category.” (#6)

A New Depiction

I came across a wonderful new portrayal of both a dive bar and a trendy brewery in a novel by Harlan Coban that I just finished.

I’ll add them to my collection and share them with you in Part II of this post.

However, since I’ve plunged into the topic, I thought I should first regale you with my favorite dive bars – not only in Portland, but throughout Oregon – especially the Coast and then some from other parts of the US.

But first, my choice for the most literal dive bar I’ve visited. This one is in Sacramento, California and we stopped there on a 2016 road trip to Yosemite National Park:

I asked Jason, the bartender how the title of the bar was derived. He immediately responded:

“Take a glance upward. You see that 7,800-gallon aquarium. (To put in perspective, that would be about 1,006 kegs of beer!) A few nights each week, we also have ‘mermaids’ swimming in that tank. Now do you understand how we got our name?”

Portland Favorites

In 2019, I listed my four most iconic dives in Portland. I’ll simply list them below in no ranking and you can read a summary of each one at this link or if you want the details, at the link over the title of the bar.

https://thebeerchaser.com/2019/02/09/thebeerchasers-best-portland-dive-bars/

The Ship Tavern 2012

The Mock Crest Tavern 2012

The Standard 2018

Gil’s Speakeasy 2017

I’ve added two more to this list. I shouldn’t have left Renner’s off the original post. According to Willamette Week, “The Epitome of a Dive Bar with None of the Pretension.”

I discovered Yur’s in 2020, which Willamette Week accurately described as a “Perfect Dive for Daytime Drinking”. And Yurs – owned by a former NFL lineman – is!

Renner’s Grill 2017

Yurs 2020

I would also strongly disagree with one reviewer on the subject opining on Portland dives. If you check out my reviews of those above, you will understand why:

“I’m beginning to understand the formula for what constitutes a popular dive in Portland….Make it dark, create some reason for the service to suck and make PBR cheaper than soda….”

(Photos clockwise: The Ship, Mock Crest, The Standard, Renner’s, Yur’s and Gil’s Speakeasy)

The Oregon Coast

Four of the following gems were visited in a three-day trip with my brother-in-law, Dave Booher and another friend, Steve Larson, in the summer of 2014.

The Desdemona Club, better known by locals as “The Dirty D,” was a 2012 trip – again with Dave – he also feels a kinship with dives.

The Desdemona Club (“The Dirty D”) Astoria

The Sportsman Pub and Grub Pacific City

The Old Oregon Saloon (“The Old O”) Lincoln City

The Tide Pool Pub and Pool Depot Bay

Mad Dog Country Tavern Newport

(Photos clockwise: Desdemona, Sportsman, Tide Pool, Mad Dog and The Old O) (#7)

What About the Rest of Oregon?

Central and Eastern Oregon are two regions which still need Beerchasing exploits based on what we discovered on another three-day road trip in 2013.

And the iconic Lumpy’s Landing was one of the two bars that I visited before I retired which gave me the idea to make a bar tour when I retired. (The other was the Rod and Gun Saloon in Stanley, Idaho. (By the way, you missed the ice-fishing contest this year).

Central Pastime Tavern Burns 2013

Long Branch Saloon LaGrande 2013

Hideout Saloon LaGrande 2013

Horseshoe Tavern Prineville 2013

Lumpy’s Landing Dundee 2014

(Photos clockwise: Central Pastime, Horseshoe, Hideout, Lumpy’s, Buffalo Bills)

Stay tuned for Part II on dive bars – this time for my favorites in Montana and Colorado – rich in iconic dives and then a few from our travels around the rest of the US.

In my effort to further educate on the topic, take a look at this interesting Thrillist article about fake dive bars:

Signs You Are in a Fake Dive Bar – Thrillist

“If a place is actually calling itself a dive by name, that’s a surefire sign that some hipster who’s never been in a real hole wanted to open a bar but didn’t want to invest in a vacuum or nice lights. Lots of ferns, though.

There’s always money for ferns. Most light should be provided by slightly broken neon signs, not something weird like an Edison bulb or, ugh, a window.”

Cheers

External Photo Attribution

#1. Wikimedia Commons (ttps://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Diving-board,_feat,_bathing_suit,_springboard_Fortepan_25241.jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Author: FOTO:Fortepan — ID 25241: Adományozó/Donor: Tari Örs. 1937.

#2. Willamette Week “Deep Dive” (Deep Dive: Our Guide to More Than 40 of Portland’s Oldest, Dankest Dive Bars (wweek.com).

#3. Portland Eater “Dive Bar Guide” (The Ultimate Guide to Portland’s Iconic Dive Bars (eater.com).

#4. Willamette Week Annual Bar Guide (Willamette Week Guides (wweek.com))

#5. Nestucca Spit Press (Oregon Tavern Age – Nestucca Spit Press)

#6. Joe’s Cellar Facebook Page ((1) Joe’s Cellar | Facebook

#7. Desdemona Club Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=275454077925770&set=pb.100063835381277.-2207520000&type=3.

The Helvetia Tavern

Posted on September 10, 2022 by Thebeerchaser

(Welcome back to Thebeerchaser. If you are seeing this post through an e-mail, please visit the blog by clicking on the title above to see all of the photos and so the narrative is not clipped or shortened.)

Visitors from out-of-state often inquire, “What classic watering hole should we check out?” In Oregon, one will often hear the response, “The Helvetia Tavern.” This quaint rural bar was established in 1946 and has been a favorite of both locals and tourists ever since.

Whether one is from out-of-state, on a country ride by auto or cycling or just making a short stop off Highway 26 on the way to the Oregon Coast, it’s a destination with a reputation that draws robust crowds especially in Oregon’s good weather months.

So when our friends, John and Barb Senger, from Boulder, Colorado came to town recently for Barb’s and my wife, Janet’s 50th McMinnville High School Class Reunion, they asked for a Beerchasing recommendation. The Sengers immediately agreed that we should try the Helvetia Tavern although they’d been there before. Janet hadn’t been there since shortly after college.

I’m a bit embarrassed to say that although it’s been many years since I became eligible to raise a mug in its legendary quarters, I’d never been there.

The Sengers both had outstanding careers in educational administration and in retirement, we have visited them both in Boulder and Pueblo Colorado where John has relatives. His daughter, Cassy, is married to Kirk Taylor, the Sheriff of Pueblo County and they were wonderful Beerchasing companions in a pre-pandemic trip..

And besides the highlight of seeing the Oregon State Beavers beat the Colorado Buffaloes in Boulder in a thrilling overtime victory for the Beavs on a perfect autumn day in 2018, we’ve visited some memorable bars and bistros together. (John is also known to make a great martini……)

Our favorite was The Sink, a famous, historic dive just off the University of Colorado campus, once visited by President Obama. His unannounced visit on a 2012 campaign trip resulted in a new pizza – The POTUS Pie. Although I digress, some info about this and some of the other bars is context for my comments on The Helvetia below.

Helvetia is a small unincorporated community in Washington County, Oregon along Highway 26 about forty-five minutes from Portland. According to Wikipedia:

“It was named by Swiss immigrants to Oregon in the 19th century. Notable features are the church, cemetery, the Rice Rocks and Minerals Museum, Helvetia Vineyards and Winery, Roloff Farms, and the Helvetia Tavern.”

When a cemetery and a church are enumerated as “notable features,” in a community, it makes one pause and I have to admit that the “prospect” of a mineral museum did not seem that exciting. The Rice Museum, however, is affiliated with the Smithsonian and after I investigated, it’s worth checking out (on a future trip……):

“The Rice Museum of Rocks and Minerals houses a world-class collection recognized as the finest in the Pacific Northwest and one of the best in the nation….The Museum showcases not only fine rocks and minerals, but also fossils, meteorites, lapidary art, and gemstones from both the Pacific Northwest and all around the world.”

(# External photos attributed at the end of the post. #1 below)

And of definite historical interest – the Holcomb Creek Trestle, purportedly the highest (90 feet) and longest wooden railroad bridge currently in use in the United States, located only about a minute or two from in the Helvetia Tavern.

“This 110 year old beauty was used by the Portland Western Railroad! If you like railroad trestles, you’ll love this one! Built back in 1905 for the Oregon Electric Railway by United Railways, the timber stringer type bridge is a classic wooden trestle.

Since fire is always a danger with wooden trestles and bridges, this one was constructed with well spaced concrete partitions to prevent the uncontrollable spread of a fire, should one occur. No one really knows how many board feet of lumber is included in the 1168 foot long span of the bridge.” (https://trainfanatics.com/holcomb-creek-wooden-train-trestle-still-standing/) (#2)

One can’t help wonder if any inebriated patrons of the Helvetia Tavern have ever tried to scale the structure or walk across it – that’s almost four football fields. Obviously, it’s not one that you could make a fast exit over the side if a train appears like the classic scene in movies!

Okay, but let’s get back to the Tavern……

While we enjoyed our visit and the company was outstanding, based on my visits over the last eleven years – to almost 400 watering holes in Oregon, throughout the US and a few in Europe – I would not rate the Helvetia Tavern as a “classic” or one of the more memorable.

Now I will admit this assertion is based on only one visit – and that one shortly after a global pandemic, but hear me out…..This may shock some of its fans, but I’ll set forth my reasons below:

The Ambiance and Character – The inside is clean and spacious and has a long, attractive bars and numerous booths and a pool table. There are also some old beer signs and memorabilia. It reminded me of a typical sports bar without as many televisions. (#3 – right)

The main element of character is the ceiling which is bedecked with numerous colored baseball hats – obviously left by patrons over the years.

I asked a waiter about the origin and he thought it was because years ago, they had unmatched sections of the ceiling and decided that the headgear would “hide” the discrepancy.

There was nothing on the website which provided any insight and while it was an attractive and interesting touch, it doesn’t compare with the effect and the stories of some others I’ve seen in my journey – at least from the information available.

I would suggest that a number of other “ceiling accoutrements” I’ve seen overshadow the hats. Two examples are the bras that adorn the ceiling of the Dixie Tavern in Portland’s Old Town and the Bacaro Jazz – just over the Rialto Bridge in Venice. From my Beerchaser reviews:

At Bacaro Jazz:

“The tradition is all the women walking in who donate their bra to the collection tend to get a free drink and a rise from the crowd. The Bar has every drink you can think so if your intent is to walk in sober and leave the same way, forget about it.”

At Dixie:

“Evidently, when female patrons dance on the bar – a tradition at The Dixie – they inconspicuously remove their bras and attempt to throw them on the antlers of the large moose-head hanging on the wall. Then each year, Dixie’s donates $5 for each bra on the ceiling to the Susan Komen Race for the Cure – a great cause.

(There were also about an equal number of baseball caps on the ceiling which I assume were worn by the male patrons chose not to wear a bra, but didn’t want to feel left out.”)

And it doesn’t have to be apparel – for example, the traditional Christmas lights – which have never gone out on the ceiling along with University of Portland students’ signatures throughout the years at the Twilight Room or the signatures, graphics and comments on the ceiling at Gil’s Speakeasy in SE Portland

The Deck and Patio – One of the best aspects of the Helvetia is both a covered patio and an adjacent deck area with large umbrellas which drew most people the night we were there. Although it was hot, the shrubs and trees around the deck provided some respite. On it’s website, it states “voted best patio” but it doesn’t quote the source. (#4 – left)

That said, given the weather during much of the year in Oregon, in my opinion, one can’t rely on the outside seating areas to provide the ambiance one needs to be considered a “classic” bar.

The Food – The menu is pretty much pub food and the prices are very reasonable. On its website, Helvetia prominently displays “Home of the Jumbo Burger,” and the burger has a reputation for excellence, as do the fries and onion rings. For example, this Yelp review:

“Old school tavern that my family has been visiting since the 50’s – when Fred and Boots owned it. Then it was a tavern, grocery, and gas station. The burgers are old school, fresh, simple, wonderful. The 1/2 & 1/2 fries and onion rings are simply a must.”

Willamette Week in its March Burger Madness in 2017 which evaluated 100 burgers from Portland bars and bistros, wrote of Helvetia’s offering (It lost to Mike’s Drive-in‘s burger in the first round):

“The famous Jumbo Burger – with two thin beef patties, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle and mayo stacked inside a giant bun – the whole thing is like a Big Mac the size of your face…if your face were maybe a little bigger.” (#5 – 6)

I’ve eaten at quite a few of the places in the competition such as Slow Bar, Interurban, Ecliptic, McMenamins, Grain and Gristle and Expatriate and a few not on the list such as Stanich’s which one reviewer called “a national treasure” and Thrilllist rated in 2018 as the “Best Burger in America.” And don’t forget The Sink Burger from Boulder. Helvetia’s Jumbo does not compare favorably

Most of the food reviews’ however, are good and the onion rings and fries were excellent with plentiful servings; however, my assessment of the burger was similar to the two below – (Yelp on 8/6/22):

“The food was ok and the service was excellent. Had the jumbo cheeseburger and it was OK. Don’t really understand the hype.”

Or from 12/27/20:

“Interesting concept of the larger burger. The burger was simple and good. It’s because there was no ‘wow’ in burger I got, seemed pretty basic.”

Our servers were courteous and efficient. By the way, Helvetia only takes cash or checks although there is an ATM located on site.

The Story – Perhaps the most disappointing (and lacking) element for an establishment that has been a community fixture since 1946, is any meaningful attempt to convey its history. The website is woefully deficient and in the “About” section has a scant paragraph – only revealing the 1946 inception date.

The last entry on the Facebook site is dated December 26, 2021 and states:

“Due to the snow..We will be closed today.”

The element may not be a priority of the owners or important to most patrons; however, to be considered a watering hole icon, the story needs to be conveyed. Regardless of whether the bar or brewery is relatively new or has a rich history (I assume) from having been around for almost eighty years like Helvetia, the legacy should be communicated on site and through social media. And the staff should be oriented on it when they commence employment.

Earlier, I mentioned our visit with the Sengers in Pueblo, Colorado for an outstanding weekend of Beerchasing. One of the highlights in visiting Gus’ Place, Eilers’ Place, Walter’s Brewery, the Greenlight Tavern, Shamrock Brewery and the Star Bar was that all of them emphasized the tradition and legends which preserve the sagas though narrative, photos or memorabilia.

One of my favorites from the eleven years of Beerchasing was from Eilers’ Pace (above) where after I mentioned my Beerchasing hobby to the bartender, she came back with the old photo below taken in the late 1940’s. The bar was a family place and mom’s often brought their infants for a visit.

She then said, “See that guy over there?” pointing to one of the guys in the booth by the door. “He’s the second baby from the end on his mom’s lap in the photo.” I went over to meet him and He stuck out his hand and said:

“I’m James “Horse” Mohorcich. But you should just call me ‘Horse.’ I live across the street and I’ve been coming here for at least forty years.”

Later when we joined the Sheriff and his family, I told them the story and showed the picture and Sheriff Taylor said, “Oh yeah, that’s Horse. I know Horse!”

So in Closing

I hope to return to the Helvetia Tavern at some point and the Lampros family who own it should be commended for maintaining a thriving small business through the years including during a pandemic.

They have a loyal following in the community and the region. I just hope they make some additional efforts so the full story is not lost in the future.

Cheers

External Photo Attribution

#1. (https://ricenorthwestmuseum.org/)

#2. Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Holcomb_Creek_Trestle_(15448696156).jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic license. Bob from USA 4 October 2014.

#3 – 4. (https://therealhelvetiatavern.com/)

#5 – 7. (http://(1) Helvetia Tavern | Facebook)

Thebeerchasers’ Best Portland Dive Bars

Posted on February 9, 2019 by Thebeerchaser

As I mentioned in my 2018 Annual Report, after pursuing this somewhat unusual hobby for a little over seven years, some might wonder which bars of various types or which breweries are my favorites. Conversely, which would I not recommend although there are not many in the latter category.

So over the next few months, while still doing blog posts about bars I visit in 2019, I will try to identify my favorites to this point by category i.e. dive bar, neighborhood establishment, sports bar, brew-pub, etc. – without paying undue attention to defining the criteria for the categories.

As one can see by the first logo pictured above, I was originally going to confine my journey to just Portland watering holes; however, given our robust retirement travel, it has expanded to cover bars in Europe, Alaska, Hawaii, a number of regions in the continental US and throughout Oregon from the High Desert to the wonderful and scenic Oregon coast.

I’ll divide each category into separate posts covering Portland establishments and those outside the Rose City. For each bar, I will provide a brief narrative on my rationale for it being on my “all-star” list.

I might add that one of the joys of this undertaking – especially on our trips, has been sharing the experience with my wife of 39 years.

Janet has transitioned from almost exclusively drinking wine, to enjoying IPAs – especially the hoppy ones. That said, she demurs when I suggest hitting a dive bar — there have been one or two exceptions when we have been traveling.

I welcome your comments and opinions. It should be also noted that I am not ranking these within the all-star categories, although I might feel inclined to indicate one that supersedes the others in each specific group. Most of the narrative about each bar was applicable when I reviewed them. Things may have changed since then, but hey – with 286 bars down and a lot more to go, I don’t have time to go back and update!

If you want to see the original post for the four I highlight below, you can click on the purple link in the name of the bar which precedes its story.

Cheers and Go Beavs!

Best Portland Area Dive Bars

The Ship Tavern – December 10, 2012

The Ship, located in nearby Multnomah Village, could make the all-star list just from its unique mural on the exterior front wall, but this bar is a “must visit” for those who appreciate the ambiance of a good dive.

One could assert that it gets some competition as an iconic watering hole from Renners’ Bar and Grill, another great dive just around the corner and reviewed by Thebeerchaser in August, 2017 – unfortunately, now closed because of a disastrous fire. However, even when both were operating The Ship clearly anchored the exceptional bars in the Village.

It’s aptly described by this Yelp reviewer who wrote: “The ship isn’t anything to write home to Mom about…..heck it probably isn’t even a place I would tell my Mom I went….but it knows what/who it is.” (Yelp 9/1/17)

The Ship has been in the same location since 1946 and this site of a former garage has big-time history and character. If you go on Thursday, your table will have free peanuts in the shell – the shells go on the floor when you are done.

There’s also a great juke box with the favorite plays when I visited in 2012 as follows:

Neil Young and Crazy Horse – “Get a Job”

Bad Company – “Bad Company”

The Raconteurs – “Steady as She Goes”

Waylon Jennings – “Good-Hearted Woman”

When you want to play a song in the juke, you tell the bartender who turns off the stereo. The old-time pinball machine is also great.

Da Bears, Da Cubs and Da Sox! – Now there are several bars in Portland which purport to be Chicago Bears’ bars – these include the Buffalo Gap and the Hob Nob Grill, but The Ship Tavern is very passionate about their favorite NFL Team. They also like the Cubbies and White Sox.

The Ship can be considered a Chicago hangout as evidenced by the fact that any time the Bears, Cubs or the Sox play, Pabst Old Style Beer – A Chicago favorite – is $1.50 per can and margaritas and Bloody Mary’s are $3.50.

Debbie, the friendly bartender, emphasized, “This doesn’t apply to Blackhawk games – we’re not big on hockey.”

Furthermore, every Sunday during football season they “offer meals that are themed after the opposing team.” The Sunday after my first visit, they played the Minnesota Vikings. The special was Tator-tot-Hotdish and Caesar salad for $5.50.

According to Wikipedia, “Hotdish is a variety of baked casserole that typically contains a starch, a meat or other protein, and a canned and/ or frozen vegetable mixed with canned soup. The dish is popular in Minnesota and North Dakota.”

Part of the lore was also supplied by former Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter, Jay Waldron. The bar was a hangout for the Portland Rugby Club (of which Waldron is a charter member) and they had their Book-and-Brew discussions at The Ship. (I didn’t ask what percentage was brew and the allocation of book, nor the nature of the literature purportedly dissected.)

The overall character and décor make this bar the epitome of a good dive bar including the pictures and memorabilia – and the stories surrounding each one of them. In the words of one patron:

“The Ship is simply your quintessential dive bar……It’s an ultra local joint with good history…….that dark and dank local bar with a handful of guys in trucker hats and grey mustache’s…..”(Yelp 2/29/12)

Candace, the friendly bartender

The Ship Tavern 7827 SW 35th Ave. Portland (Multnomah Village)

Gil’s Speakeasy – May 9, 2017

When they named it a speakeasy, they weren’t kidding. There is no sign with the name and other than a few innocuous beer signs in the front windows, no indication that this is actually a bar.

It’s on the ground floor of a multi-story apartment building and based on the surrounding structures, you could walk right by it if you didn’t know it was there. Perhaps that’s why PDXbars.com described it as, “Small, hard to find bar, with a huge personality.”

A viewing slot like a traditional speakeasy

And this is okay with Brett Gilhuly, who bought and renamed the bar in 2004 – it’s been around since 1939. He stated in a media interview, “If you could find it, you were more than welcome. And if you couldn’t, – find something else.”

Brett also originated their advertising slogan, “The nicest assholes in town!.” Gil’s wife, Katie is the co-owner and bartender and a very nice person….The dingy, although spacious bar, is also distinguished by its collections of signs, old bottles, photos and memorabilia.

Katie and bartender, Judd – “the best bartender in town!”

It features one of the few full-length shuffleboard tables remaining in Portland bars and has a great juke-box with a slew of albums ranging from Otis Redding and Sam Cooke to Pearl Jam and Guns ‘N Roses.

Although possibly a little inconsistent with the preferences of the typical dive bar regular, they even have “Teenager in Love,” by Dion and the Belmonts – it hit #5 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1959.

Dion and the Belmonts!!

But the best feature is their daily food special – you’ll have to go to my original blog post to see all of them, but to give you an idea, on Monday – which is also Dirty Bingo Night, you can get three tacos for a buck and on Friday (when I ate there) – a Sloppy Joe with chips – also for $1.

The Friday special for $1

The large pool table with red felt is a nice touch and is in a comfortable adjacent room. They have a good tap list and beer is cheap.

Even the coin-operated breathalyzer is a nice feature and one which is not found often in Portland Bars.

Summed up in a dated, but still very accurate Yelp review on 4/17/14:

“In my top 5 dives in Portland. this place is great. drinks are reasonable, strong pours, and the food is great and affordable. check out their turkey dinner. delicious, home made, cant be missed. place is cozy.”

Gil’s Speakeasy 609 1/2 SE Taylor

Mock Crest Tavern – May 23, 2012

The Mock Crest is definitely a classic and borders on being a neighborhood establishment rather than classified as a dive; however, although it has some great features, it’s characterized by the wonderful environment of a dive bar. Perhaps, this Yelp comment summed it up best although the reviewer equivocates to some extent:

“Hmmmm…I cannot classity this as a Dive Bar. I’ve been to a generous handful in my day, and this is upscale divey, if not a classy dive bar. It is a gem.”

Yep. It’s a dive albeit a classy one…..

So what are some of the distinguishing factors of this historic establishment which has operated for about 70 years and was named after North Portland entrepreneur and philanthropist, John Mock.

North Portland icon

A pharmacy and butcher shop/meat market occupied the building before the bar. A picture of Mock hangs on the wall as you go out to the bar’s outside patio – not fancy, but a great place to contemplate the God’s gift of beer!

Mock Crest has eight rotating draft beers and about 21 bottled and cans. Happy Hour is twice each day – from 3 to 6 P.M.and 11 PM to close.

Good food can be an exception to the rule at dive bars, but the bar has a good menu (including fried pickles) and gets favorable comments about its food including breakfast.

When we were there six years ago, the menu stated, “Breakfast served – any time.” My colleague, Intellectual Property lawyer, John Mansfield, decided to be coy and stated, “Okay, I’ll take French Toast from the Renaissance Era.” I see that they now serve it only until noon on weekdays – probably so they never have to listen to that comment ever again…..

Mansfield – he’s welcome back provided someone else orders the food!

Live Music – Although the size of the bar is pretty limited, it is well known for its long history of good live music. Their website states:

“(We) play host to NoPo’s best live music every Thursday thru Saturday. From Rock ‘Roll and Country, to Jazz, Pop, Blues and R&B, you’ll enjoy local legends, touring artists, as well as up and coming stars. Best of all there never a cover charge – ever.”

The evening we were there we got to hear the Eagle Ridin’ Papas featuring legendary musician, Johnnie Ward, who was described as “a living study of Northwest Roots and Blues Movement with nearly 40 years of performance art to his credit.” You are close up to the musicians and they like to interact.

At least one reviewer (Yelp 10/7/16) objects to the space constraints although most patrons (including John and I) like this intimate set-up:

“Want to have a conversation with some friends? Forget it. Want to use the bathroom? Forget it, unless you don’t mind making direct eye contact with the lead singer while you squeeze through the drummer’s floor tom and the bass amp.” (I guess Johnnie Ward realized how old I was because he smiled and nodded empathetically when I made the trip…..)

Johnnie Ward – up close and personal..

Mock Crest describes itself with several nice slogans – all of which are apt:

Home of the North Portland Blues

Easy to Find – Hard to Leave

Where Friends Meet

And in far North Portland, it’s a bit out of the way, but well worth a visit – one of the classics to which I will look forward to returning. The character is best described by this one succinct review.

“Small, hard to find bar with a huge personality.”

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard Street Portland

The Standard – June 26, 2018

While with the Mock Crest Tavern, one can make an argument that it is not a traditional dive bar, that is not the case with The Standard. The entrance, shown above, confirms before you enter, that you are arriving at a true dive – and this is affirmed when you see the interior.

You walk in through the covered patio, which is vaguely reminiscent of the days before Oregon’s smoke-free legislation passed in 2008 and the interior of every dive bar had a hazy, smoke filled environment, which would be hazardous for anyone without pristine lungs. (The second-hand smoke during the times I was there was pretty minimal, however.)
Individuals and groups sit at the picnic tables chatting, smoking and working on computers – often accompanied by their pets. And they drink cheap beer.

It’s a bar, which even with a great reputation, has been below the radar in an inconspicuous location on NE 22^nd Avenue – just off Burnside. And some might assert that with the dark wooden fence with a dumpster in the middle, fronting the bar, it looks like a recycling center. Opened in 2007, it doesn’t have the long history of some other classic bars, but demands recognition.

It’s replete with old-style pinball machines and games, a pool table and even a photo-booth.

There’s also a curiously-short shuffleboard – with empty kegs underneath, old beers signs, tacky art, an idiosyncratic (or bizarre) cracked mirror – the full length of the bar – and well, a lot of stuff that just makes you feel welcome.

Another distinguishing characteristic is a noticeable affinity for Hamm’s Beer. It’s manifested by its Wednesday all-day $1 Hamm’s pints, numerous logos and a notable stuffed Hamm’s Bear over the bar wearing a Portland Trailblazer jersey. The Standard, like a lot of dives, is not the go-to place for quality pub food. Its line-up is confined to items such as chips and salsa, a few sandwiches (micro-waved), mini-corndogs and fried ravioli(?)

They also have a drink special each day which includes the aforementioned Hamm’s special on Wednesday.

I don’t know why I loved this watering hole so much. Was it the overall environment, the sense of community – reflected by such features as their Crappy Book Club – “Bring your crappy books and trade them for other crappy books,” the annual chili cooking contest, the Christmas decorations and showing of Santa Horror Movies?

Or was it just the people with whom I experienced the bar – a group of some of my favorites Beerchasing regulars.

But The Standard ranks as my favorite dive bar to this point in the seven and one-half years of this pursuit. Perhaps it’s best conveyed by former Willamette Week Project Editor, Matthew Korfhage.

In 2017, he garnered first place for his columns on food writing in the American Association of Alternative Newspapers. Matthew has reviewed establishments while living in St. Louis, Chicago, Munich and Bordeaux. He wrote the following in the annual Willamette Week Best Bars Guide.

2016 – “It’s the best little bar in Portland, and I won’t hear otherwise.”

2017: “The bar is cheap, no-nonsense fun in a way that takes all comers and yet is loving towards its long-time regulars. These days in Portland that makes The Standard not very standard at all. It makes it a GD treasure.”

So take in The Standard experience. And while they have some good craft beer on tap, in the interest of honoring the character of this establishment, belly up to the bar and ask bartender, Tyler, for a draft Hamm’s.

The Standard 14 NE 22nd Ave. Portland

Well that’s it folks and stay tuned in the coming weeks for a similar all-star list of dive bars outside of Portland. And remember when you are contemplating this topic, the wisdom of Seattle author, Mike Seeley in his book Seattle’s Best Dive Bars:

“But really, no collection of characteristics can be melded to truly define what makes a bar a dive…..The term ‘dive’ is bestowed with a spoonful of love….What they have in common aren’t so much attributes, but a state of mind — you just know one when you see one.” (Pages 9-10)

Gil’s Speakeasy – “We’re the nicest a-holes in town……”

Posted on May 9, 2017 by Thebeerchaser

Gil’s Speakeasy – A classic dive at the bottom of an apartment building with no sign…..

Since January 1, 2017, Thebeerchaser’s Tour of Bars, Taverns and Pubs has featured nine venues consisting of two breweries or brew pubs, four neighborhood bars, a sports bar and the Multnomah Whisky Library which really defies classification. You may have noticed that there are no dive bars in this categorization..

This is typical of a “sparkling” new brew pub. Breakside in the Pearl

The above does not count six additional brewpubs/breweries visited, but not yet posted including the relatively new digs at Breakside’s and Ten Barrel’s Pearl District facilities and Flyboy’s new location in Tigard.

Also included is our visit to three enjoyable and classy breweries on the North Oregon Coast – Astoria’s Fort George and Buoy and the Seaside Brewery in late April. Stay tuned in the next few months for narratives on all of these.

This (Club 21) is typical of a dive bar

One of Thebeerchasers favorite (former) dive bars – RIP Club 21

So it is fitting, and possibly imperative, to return to my favorite type of watering hole – the classic dive bar. And the latest bar visited needs no rationalization why it fits that description. Gil’s Speakeasy has been around since 1939 and derives its moniker from the Prohibition saloons which weren’t identified by signs or external labels.

These places that served alcohol had to stay hidden. The regulars (and usually the cops) knew where they were, but admission was selective.

The current status of the Club 21 building – yes, that’s graffiti….

Note: This blog has previously shared the concern about the disappearance of some of Portland’s most sacrosanct dive bars. In this case, take a look at both a past and a more recent photo of the iconic Club 21 as the historic structure awaits demolition. With development in SE Portland, Gil’s Speakeasy could see the same future.

Former City Club of Portland’s Interim Executive Director and now consultant, Greg Wallinger, and I visited Gil’s on my first trip to the saloon. Greg was also on a previous successful Beerchasing event at The Rambler – one of my favorite neighborhood bars.

Our plan was to meet for a brewski at the Charlie Horse Saloon – also a dive bar which is on SE Morrison, but we were greeted with a locked door and a sign stating, “Closed for Remodeling.”

Closed for remodeling

Parking in that vicinity is a challenge and based on the picture below, which is typical of ongoing development, it’s not going to get better.

As I walked the three and one-half blocks to the Charlie Horse from my car, I remembered seeing what looked like it might be a bar on the ground floor of a large, three-story apartment building on SE Taylor.

How many parking spaces do you think will accrue to this SE PDX apartment building???

We made the return trip and I was correct. Though it had no sign with the name of the place and only a slit-type peephole in the door, a classic neon Pabst and a Sailor Jerry’s Spiced Rum sign indicated that this wasn’t a coffee shop and we walked into what PDXbars.com’s “Best Bars” succinctly (and accurately described) as, “Small, hard to find bar with a huge personality.”

“Small, hard to find, with a huge personality.”

Followers of this blog understand how a dive bar earns the label (and can be reminded by examining the following post) https://thebeerchaser.com/2011/09/18/analyzing-dive-bars-head-first/— but one characteristic of which I’m fond are the signs and bric-a-brac lining the shelves and much of the interior of dive bars.

In Gils’ case our favorite was, “The consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.”

As you walk in, you’re greeted to a spacious, albeit appropriately dingy, space divided by the large bar into two sections. The bar has a wonderful and very typical collection of signs, old bottles, photos and memorabilia throughout.

On the right side is an old pool table with red felt and what is a pretty good juke box, a Big Buck Hunter video game and a classic pinball. (The Sopranos)

Big Buck Hunter included

Albums ranging from Otis Redding to Dion and the Belmonts…..

And I might add, that while dive bars have their faults, one item which seems to fit in well in most, is a good juke box. In this case, it had a slew of albums ranging from those by Otis Redding and Sam Cooke, to Pearl Jam, Guns N Roses and even the popular vocal group from the ’50’s, Dion and the Belmonts. (The last one seems a little counterintuitive as I don’t think any of the regulars would appreciate hearing the group’s main hit, Teenager in Love even though it hit #5 on the Billboard Hot 100 in March,1959.)

The focus on the bar’s left side is a large shuffleboard game described by Willamette Week in its “2015 Best of Portland” issue:

“Shuffleboard is no longer only the sport of septuagenarians on cruise ships. With its crowded floors, greasy snacks and affordable beer, Gil’s Speakeasy has all the necessary components for a great shuffleboard experience.”

One of Portlands best shuffleboards

Another distinguishing factor is the ceiling at Gil’s which is filled with chalked comments, drawings and signatures (reminiscent of The Twilight Room visited back in 2011 – a month after I started this journey).

The ceiling at Gil’s

I asked the bartender, who was a nice woman named Katie, (or it might be KT) “Who’s Gil?” and she replied that he is the co-owner of the bar (since 2004) and her husband – Brett Gilhuly. The couple also own the Twilight Cafe and Bar at 14th and Powell, which is a bar that hosts rock groups most evenings.

Bartender and wife of the owner, Katie, with Judd, who in one review was called, “The best bartender in town.”

When interviewed by the Portland Tribune in August 2012, about the historical lack of signage, Gil stated:

The door at Gil’s – You won’t see a sign…..

“If you could ﬁnd it, you were more than welcome to come in, and if you couldn’t, find something else.”

He followed by asserting that when he took over the bar he never gave a thought to the lack of a sign.

Unless it was in the woman’s bathroom, I could not find the old foosball table that was referenced in some reviews. (Katie told me in a subsequent phone call that it broke down and they took it out about a month ago).

The Men’s Head at Gil’s

But speaking of toilet facilities, the men’s head was a tribute to dive bar “climate” (although not comparable to that found at the Yamhill Pub which should have been declared an environmental hazard.)

Yamhill Pub – envir. hazard?

We ordered two beers after reviewing the twelve on tap which, of course, included PBR and Rainier, and Greg opted for Santiam Brewing’s Pirate Stout, while I had a Seaside Brewing ESB – my first of a number of future encounters with this excellent pale ale.

The beer list is certainly adequate and like most dives, at a very reasonable price. For example, you can get a pint of PBR or Rainier for $2 or $1.50 if its Happy Hour (small pitchers are $3!) The most expensive pint if it’s not at HH is $4.50 for quality beers such as Boneyard, Lagunitas or Oakshire.

Now the regular menu at Gil’s is what you might expect at a dive bar – a few salads, chili and nine different sandwiches ranging from $7 to $9, but the really distinguishing factor is their daily specials, which are notable enough to require itemization:

The Sloppy Joe and chips – What a bargain for $1.50 on Fridays

Saturday – Chili Dog – $3

Monday – Three Tacos $1 – also Dirty Bingo night…

Tuesday – Turkey and Mashers with Salad – $6.50 or Turkey sandwich – $5

Wednesday – Pork sliders – $1.50

Thursday – Prime Rib – $10 from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM (See note below) or French Dip – $5 all day

Friday – Sloppy Joes – $1

Tell me where you can score a better deal and the past reviews are good. For example, this one from Yelp on 4/17/14, “In my top 5 dives in Portland. this place is great. drinks are reasonable, strong pours, and the food is great and affordable. check out their turkey dinner. delicious, home made, cant be missed. place is cozy.”

As we look at the prime rib special, take a look at this quote on dive bars:

“Some dives have vomit-caked toilet seats in the bathroom; others have cracked vinyl booths in the barroom. Some have nicotine-stained murals dating back to the Depression; others have drink prices that seemingly haven’t wavered since then….” (Seattle’s Best Dive Bars by Mike Seely – pages 9-10)

Now while the price may not be the same as in Depression days in the quote above, look at the price of the prime rib special from this review in 2010:

“Been here 10+ times. Best prime rib in Portland. Thursdays prime rib with salad and bread $10.00.”

Well, if you walk in Gil’s on a Thursday from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM, you can still get a 6 1/2 ounce of prime rib at Gil’s for $10.00 (for which Gil is the personal cook) or up to a 16 ounce slab for $25. (There were no recent reviews commenting on the prime rib.)

From Gil’s Facebook page

And to conclude, I asked Katie if she knew who had originated their motto, since Gil’s slogan asserts that they are “the nicest a%$ holes in town.” She didn’t know and I thought the people I met at Gil’s were quality individuals, but to digress for a moment on a more scholarly note on what is becoming a more compelling, contemporary issue, you might want to check out a recent New York Times best seller by philosopher, Aaron James, entitled “Assholes – A Theory.”.

“James presents a theory of the asshole that is both intellectually provocative and existentially necessary. What does it mean for someone to be an asshole? The answer is not obvious, despite the fact that we are often personally stuck dealing with people for whom there is no better name.

Gil’s – great dive bar ambiance

Try as we might to avoid them, assholes are found everywhere and in multiple iterations: smug assholes, royal assholes, the presidential asshole, corporate assholes, reckless assholes. The list goes on. Asshole management begins with asshole understanding. Much as Machiavelli illuminated political strategy for princes, this book finally gives us the concepts to think or say why assholes disturb us so….”

The above could be an absorbing topic of discussion especially while swilling a $2 pitcher of PBR with a friend. And while you’re at it and considering the current political environment, you might want to reflect on a related best-selling tome by former (January, 2012) Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter, Dr. Harry Frankfurt, Princeton Professor Emeritus and author of the brilliant book “On Bullshit.”

Dr. Frankfurt in his 2005 book asserts:

“The realms of advertising and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept.

In consequence, we have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves. And we lack a conscientiously developed appreciation of what it means to us. In other words, we have no theory.”

Dr. Harry Frankfurt – Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter in 2012

To remedy this sad state of affairs, Dr. Frankfurt proposes (and brilliantly succeeds):

“……..to begin the development of a theoretical understanding of bullshit mainly by providing some tentative and exploratory analysis…..My aim is simply to give a rough account of what bullshit is and how it differs from what it is not.”

And in what will remain as one of the treasured pieces of correspondence related to this blog, I offer Dr. Frankfurt’s response when I informed him that he had received the title of Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter:

From: Harry G. Frankfurt

Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012

To: Williams, Donald

Subject: RE: Hello Dr. Frankfurt

Dear Mr. Williams,

First of all, thank you for the honor of naming me the January 12, 2012 Beerchaser of the Quarter. I have looked at the blog in which you announced my receipt of this distinction, and I was impressed by its wit, its charm, and its erudition. Also, I enjoyed the pictures. I intend to follow your blog regularly. Anyhow, thanks very much for writing. Sincerely, Harry Frankfurt

________________________________________

From: Williams, Donald [DWilliams@schwabe.com]

Sent: Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Subject: Hello Dr. Frankfurt

Dr. Frankfurt, during your distinguished career as a professor and an author, you have undoubtedly received many honors and much acclaim. I would like to inform you about one additional plaudit, although it pales with those previously received. You were named the January 12, 2012 Beerchaser of the Month on my blog www.thebeerchaser.com<http://www.thebeerchaser.com

One of my lawyer friends in the firm gave me a copy of your book, On Bullshit a few years ago and I loved it. While I could be described as a purveyor of bullshit at times during my tenure at the firm, I did not often have the opportunity to write creatively. Memos regarding law firm statistics, strategic planning and operational issues tend to be on the dry side. My blog has been a wonderful chance to remedy that and I wanted to share some excerpts from your book with my followers in the context of an essay, which I tried to relate to my bar tour and the presidential election cycle.

I am looking forward to reading the rest of your works now that I am retired and thank you for the hours of enjoyment I got from reading your book and sharing its wisdom with others. Sincerely, Don Williams

“Blow Before You Go”

And if you get too enthused in your discussion and are concerned that you drank too much beer in too little time, there is a breathalyzer right by the door to determine whether you need to catch a cab for the ride home. (“Wait 10 minutes after last drink for best results….”)

Regardless of whether you want to talk about a best seller, mingle with friends, have one of their daily specials or just have a pint of Rainier and reminisce about the good old days, you should drop by Gil’s Speakeasy, one of Portland’s venerable watering holes.

Gil’s Speakeasy 609 1/2 SE Taylor

Thebeerchaser

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Gil’s Speakeasy – “We’re the nicest a-holes in town……”