March Gladness

Posted on March 27, 2024 by Thebeerchaser

Welcome back to Thebeerchaser. If you are seeing this post through an e-mail, please visit the blog by clicking on the title above to see all of the photos at the end of the post and so the narrative isn’t clipped or shortened. External photo attribution at the end of the post.

Since I periodically swerve from this blog’s main focus – review of a particular bar or brewery – you might expect a few comments about both the NCAA Men’s and Women’s Final Four Basketball spectacle, but that’s not the case except for a minor observation or two below.

No, my title is because notwithstanding many regional, national and international concerns and challenges which are vexing and depressing, I’m going to end the month chiefly focusing on the positive.

A primary factor is that on March 29th, I celebrate our 44th anniversary with my wonderful spouse, Janet. From the time I first laid eyes on her at a 1979 meeting of the Oregon City Planning Commission. I chaired that body, she served as the City’s Neighborhood Involvement Coordinator, and ever since, I’ve been blessed by her companionship, patience and affection.

Busier than a Urologist in March

A slight alternation of the term for the annual March tournament was coined several years ago. “Vas Madness” refers to the demand for appointments for vasectomies right before the Final Four so the male patient can cite doctor’s orders that:

“During the (recovery period) patients are under strict medical orders to rest and avoid strenuous activity while periodically icing the groin area. With all that free time to lounge around, men are likely to want to have something planned.”

It’s explained very well in a USA Today article “Vasectomies and March Madness: How marketing led the ‘vas madness’ myth to become reality.” And it’s fascinating to do a Google search on “vas madness.” Numerous urological clinics cheerfully (and aggressively) advertise. Look at this one by the Central Indiana Urological Group:

“Ready for some exciting basketball? We’ve got your assist: Vas Madness”

And the Oregon Urology Institute, in my own state, helpfully offers:

“5 Reasons to Plan Your Vasectomy During March Madness”

The most gripping – “Score a free T-shirt” – with a slogan “Lower your seed…Snip City 2024” (#1 – #2)

Permanent birth control is a slam dunk…..

If you are a Bloody Mary fan, you might also want to stock up on ice as it becomes a “groin concern” and might be in limited supply.

And Just in Case

Those who might need it, but understandably are somewhat reluctant to have the procedure, could well take the admonition of this sign recently posted on the wonderful Facebook page of the group American Saloons, Bars & Taverns: (#3)

Reaffirming Optimism in Portland’s Old Town

In my last blog post entitled Optimism in Old Town, I enthusiastically set forth the positive steps that owner, Adam Milne has recently taken to demonstrate his commitment to a Portland recovery.

His “Believe in Portland” campaign has gained traction and there are more indications that Portland businesses and leaders are working to regain the City’s reputation as a wonderful place to both live and visit.

I was therefore glad (remember the theme of this post) to see a headline in yesterday’s local news: “$2 million to go to transforming Portland’s Old Town vacant buildings into fashion manufacturing facility.” KGW.com

“If approved by the governor, the money will go to the Old Town Community Association, part of a group that wants to bring manufacturing, housing, and office and retail space to the district on the northern edge of downtown.” Oregon Live (#4 – #6)

There are multiple issues for Portland to overcome, however, as an article just today, in the Oregonian reports:

“Portland’s central city had the highest office vacancy rate of the 50 largest downtown office markets in the country by the end of last year, according to a report by real estate firm Colliers.” (#7)

The Pacwest Center where I spent twenty-five years.

And the homeless quandary seems staggering although Portland voters and the various levels of government have approved substantial financial resources to address the problem.

Why Can’t We Just Get Along and Get Something Done??

The City of Portland, after a successful ballot measure, is restructuring its governing and management organization. It’s a massive transition that would be a challenge for any entity, but the efforts have not been smooth to date.

And notwithstanding the available funds, the homeless plight continues with improvements at what many consider to be a glacial pace.

We watch the City of Portland and the Multnomah County fighting over policy and jurisdiction with a multitude of non-profits gumming up the works and adding to the acrimony. (#8 – #9)

Voters have approved money and changes to restore Portland, but that sinking feeling of despair returns when reviewing the recent announcement of the Joint City of Portland – Multnomah Homeless Response Action Plan – chronicled as a major step forward.

An Astute Reaction

Jack Bogdanski, is a professor of tax law at Lewis and Clark Law School in Portland. He graduated from Stanford Law School as a member of the distinguished Order of the Coif.

“He is a five-time winner of Lewis & Clark’s Leo Levenson Award for excellence in law teaching. He supervises the school’s tax moot court team, which has won national honors, and he founded and runs a volunteer clinic to assist international students with U.S. tax issues.” (#10)

Now taxation may sound rather boring, but the erstwhile academician is also an inveterate blogger and one of the most prolific and entertaining in the Northwest.

Check out the insightful excerpt from his post “It’s Hopeless,” below and you’ll understand why the announcement from the City/County group should be met with disdain.

“I see that the lame duck mayor of Portland and the queen of the Multnomah County commission held another one of their bizarre press conferences about the city’s street crisis yesterday. They’re very big on the media photo ops. They had an almost identical one in December.

At that point, they were bragging about a framework for a draft of a plan for some programs. Yesterday they had moved from the framework to the draft. So now we’ve made it all the way to the draft of the plan for some programs. It took only three months. You wonder how many junkies, and small businesses, died in that span of time.

And if you think the wait was bad, you probably don’t want to look at what we were waiting for. Forty-seven pages of bureaucratic word salad. The content is so bad, it’s almost a parody. Turn any page and you find stuff like: (#11)

“Word Salad” is too genteel to describe this BS….

‘The Homelessness Response Action Plan creates new governance and accountability structures to allow decision-makers to set goals, objectives and the budgets needed to achieve outcomes. It creates a co-governance model in the Steering and Oversight Committee to identify responsibilities, coordination and goals.

Under that committee, it calls for an Implementation Sub-Committee to track progress, identify challenges, collaborate and hold one another accountable to solutions.

And it assembles a robust Community Advisory Sub-Committee to elevate the issues of those across the spectrum of providers, partners and impacted stakeholders to offer their input on goals and solutions and other kinds of feedback…..”

Edwin Newman and Schu Would be Appalled.

The last two years of my seven-year tenure for Clackamas County, I was an Administrative Analyst for the three-member County Commission. My job was to write memos, press releases and various missives as well as financial analysis.

And the late Commissioner Robert Schumacher, as Chair of the Commission, was my primary boss. Schu, went out on a political limb to hire two young guys to help formulate budgets and perform a variety of organizational tasks for a county that was sorely lacking in best practices.

Mike Bateson and I promptly became known as “The Whiz Kids” – I like to think with a certain amount of bemused affection from our colleagues in County Counsel and various Departments.

Bob “Schu” Schumacher graduated from Lewis and Clark Law School and had a better grasp of the Oregon land-use system implemented in 1973 with passage of Senate Bill 100, than almost any elected official in Oregon. Having served several terms as Clackamas County Clerk, he was also an expert at Oregon Election Law.

Besides that, Schu had a remarkable and acerbic sense of humor that helped mitigate the stress of local government work. He was a superb and gifted elected official.

Although he was my boss, we became good friends and he served as an usher in our 1980 wedding. After several terms on the Commission, he left to work on the Oregon Governor’s staff. He passed away far too young.

Now before you think I’m straying too far afield, the preceding narrative is appropriate because consistent with the theme of this post, I will be forever glad that I spent two years working for this consummate elected official.

Schu was also a student of the language and we used to have shots of bourbon in his office after hours and laugh at the brilliant books of Edwin Newman, American newscaster, journalist, and author. He wrote both Strictly Speaking: Will America be the Death of English? and a Civil Tongue. (#12)

Journalist, author and newscaster

I still remember during budget hearings averting my gaze from Schu to avoid laughing when a Department Head would use a redundancy such as “free gratis” or state in a subdued tone, “Just between you and I,” use the term “hopefully” or end a sentence with a preposition.

And Newman would go nuts if he saw the quote from the Homeless Action Plan release above. As he once asked rhetorically:

“Is the design and implementation of pragmatic interfaces’ something we want to happen? I’m not sure.” Washington Post

(I should note that I’m leaving myself as a target, because I’m sure I’ve committed some linguistic or grammatical gaffes in this post. My friend, lawyer and legal consultant, R.W.(Hap) Ziegler, who scrutinizes (nitpicks?) each one for errors and will e-mail me within ten minutes after it is published. Since I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I also welcome his inspection.)

And Finally – Don’t Forget Dr. Harry Frankfurt

I have written several posts including “BS Revisited – If Only I had Known in 2012!” about the brilliant book On Bullshit by the late Harry Frankfurt, Professor Emeritus of Philosophy at Princeton University. (#13)

The good professor would use the “BS” label to describe both the written and the spoken word and this excerpt seems fitting to describe the author of the above press release:

“When we characterize talk as hot air, we mean that what comes out of the speaker’s mouth is only that. It is mere vapor. His speech is empty, without substance or content. His use of language accordingly does not contribute to the purpose it purports to serve.

Just as hot air is speech that has been emptied of all informative content, so excrement is matter from which everything nutritive has been removed.”

Enough said!

Farewell Malachy McCourt

I wrote about Malachy’s Bar in New York City in my February post “Don’t Jump When You Can Dive – Part III”. I had also recently featured former Beerchaser-of-the-Quarter, Jay Waldron who after he saw the post commented:

“Was Malachy’s named after Malachy McCourt? He was a full-of-shit Irishman who played rugby and drank with me in NYC in the late 60’s and I also had a pint with his more famous author/brother Frank in McSorleys , my then favorite NYC bar. Jay”

The answer to Jay’s question was affirmative. McCourt was, indeed, a rugby player who owned Malachy’s Irish Pub on West 72nd Street. (#14 – #15)

Well, thirty-one days after I wrote about McCourt and Malachy’s Irish Pub, Jay sent me this link to the Washington Post obituaries:

“Malachy McCourt, raconteur of the Irish experience in America, dies at 92”

Cheers! (#16)

Pam 13

External Photo Attribution

#1. Wikimedia Commons (File:Kansas Jayhawks Open Practice at the 2016 March Madness Opening Rounds (25817826036).jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: Phil Roeder from Des Moines, IA – 16 March 2016.

#2. Wikimedia Commons (File:Rtu.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: Ramonduran – 28 June 2001.

#3. Facebook Page of Amercian Saloon, Bars and Taverns (https://www.facebook.com/groups/AmericanSaloons).

$4 #5. Old Town Brewing Web Site (https://www.otbrewing.com/shop)

#6. Wikimedia Commons (File:Portland, Oregon sign + Old Town tower, 2012.JPG – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Author: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Another_Believer – 8 January 2012.

#7. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons – PacWest Center (icensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: Cacophony 18 June 2006.

#8. Wikimedia Commons (File:Ted Speech.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Author: Hcraddock – 5 December 2015.

#9. Wikimedia Commons (File:Jessica Vega Pederson.png – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: MetroEast Community Media – 30 October 2017.

#10. Lewis and Clark Law School Website (https://law.lclark.edu/live/profiles/295-john-bogdanski).

#11. City of Portland Website (Portland, Multnomah County announce Homelessness Response Action Plan | Portland.gov).

#12. Wikimedia Commons (File:Edwin Newman in 1975.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) This work is in the public domain in the United States because it was published in the United States between 1929 and 1977, inclusive, without a copyright notice. Author: NBC -12 December 1975.

#13. Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Harry_Frankfurt_at_2017_ACLS_Annual_Meeting.jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author: American Council of Learned Societies (ACLS) 20 October 2018.

#14. Wikimedia Commons (Malachy_McCourt_3_by_David_Shankbone.jpg (2265×1913) (wikimedia.org) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Author: David Shankbone – 30 March 2007.

#15. Malachy Irish Pub Website Photo Gallery (https://www.malachysirishpub.com/gallery).

#16. Illustration courtesy of Pam Williams.

Summer Simmers – Part II

Posted on July 24, 2023 by Thebeerchaser

Sun_(Sol)

Welcome back to Thebeerchaser. If you are seeing this post through an e-mail, please visit the blog by clicking on the title at the top to see all of the photos and so the narrative is not clipped or shortened. External photo attribution at the end of the post. (#1)

During the summer months, I’ve decided to address some random items – some having to do with bars and breweries and some captured while sipping a gin martini at the beach (up with olives). As in the first post in this series, I’ll end with three jokes from my files.

Bullshit Will Never be the Same!

It’s psychologically challenging when one knows that a sad event is on the horizon, but the timing is unknown – kind of an ominous foreshadowing, if you will. Now perhaps that’s an exaggeration in this case, but I was saddened when I received an e-mail from former Beerchasing Regular, “West Coast Dave Hicks.”

I say former, because after I retired and he moved for a time to the East Coast, our forays to such great bars as Crackerjacks Pub, the Double Barrel Tavern, the Ranger Station, Sloan’s Tavern and the Richmond Bar were relegated to just memories of great beer and great chats.

Dave sent me the obituary of Princeton Emeritus Professor Dr. Harry Frankfurt, author of the wonderful seventy-four page 1986 essay/book On Bullshit. The good professor died on July 16th at ninety-four. (#2)

When I started this blog in late 2011, I decided that besides reviewing bars and breweries, I would feature an interesting individual or group each quarter. My Beerchasers-of-the-Quarter might not have anything to do with beer or bars, but in my opinion they’ve made a meaningful contribution to society and their story should be told.

In almost every case, I’ve known the individual or group and they’ve ranged from athletes, authors, media personalities, military heroes and even academicians (including my graduate school professor in Public Finance).

One of the few I did not know, but felt compelled to “honor” in 2012 after reading his brilliant essay, was Dr. Frankfurt. As a lark, I looked up his contact info at Princeton and sent him an e-mail describing Thebeerchaser blog and his designation as B-O-Q.

I thought it would get caught in Princeton’s spam filter or that a person with this distinguished Ph.D.’s schedule would just ignore it..

So I was surprised and thrilled to receive the e-mail below several days later. His cryptic reference in the last sentence also indicated that he read my very long blog post in its entirety.

Sent: Monday, January 30, 2012 7:36 AM
To: Williams, Donald
Subject: RE: Hello Dr. Frankfurt

Dear Mr. Williams,

First of all, thank you for the honor of naming me the January 12, 2012 Beerchaser of the Quarter.

I have looked at the blog in which you announced my receipt of this distinction, and I was impressed by its wit, its charm, and its erudition. Also, I enjoyed the pictures.

I intend to follow your blog regularly. I am especially interested in keeping up with the debate over whether to remove the letter M from the alphabet. I believe that, with regard to this issue, my mind is still completely open.

Anyhow, thanks very much for writing.

Sincerely, Harry Frankfurt

In 2020 with the prevalence of lies and BS (he makes a distinction) I felt compelled to republish the original post and add some updated commentary: https://thebeerchaser.com/2020/03/12/bs-revisited-if-only-i-had-known-in-2012/ ( #3-#4)

*+* BULLSHIT rubber stamp on the desk of a Street Photographer

I will mourn the passing of Harry Frankfurt, in part, because he won’t be around to comment on the 2024 Presidential Elections.

And as we listen to the forthcoming debates and interviews we can’t say the Professor did not warn us:

“The realms of advertising and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept.”

As an admonition when a candidate steps over the line, perhaps the moderator of each debate should whip out the poster below: (#5)

Farewell to Another Icon

The world was saddened with the death of Tony Bennett last week at the age of 96. He won twenty Grammy Awards and sold over fifty million records during his career.

The crooner captivated audiences for seven decades with his wonderful tunes and his charismatic personality, philosophy of life and support of humanitarian causes. He was a model for all generations.

Anthony Dominick Benedetto, like Thebeerchaser, was born in Long Island, New York. He struggled with significant personal issues during his life, but overcame them and continued to be a “masterful stylist of American musical standards.”

“(He had) an easy, courtly manner and an uncommonly rich and durable tenor that made him a master of caressing a ballad or brightening an up-tempo number.” (APNews.com)

And who has not whistled or hummed, “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” in the shower….? (#6)

Tony Bennett and wife, Susan

I wrote about him in a 2020 blog post – one not about entertainers but lawyers. My post was intended to make some observations about my almost forty years working with attorneys.

The opportunity to interact with these professionals during my entire career almost all of whom were ethical, smart, dedicated advocates with amazing work ethics and elevated senses of humor was a real benefit.

I tried to identify some general traits of lawyers that kept me on my toes in communicating. The last one I mentioned and the relevance to the preceding narrative is described below in this excerpt from the August 2020 post of Thebeerchaser:

Need to Have the LAST Word

Over my forty years working with lawyers, I learned that one way to garner their respect was to respond emphatically and with confidence in any (or every) kind of debate whether it was in conversation or electronically.

I learned, however, that even if I prevailed in substance, I should expect, and to some extent, encourage the lawyer to have the last word. It was a good method to save further time deliberating and allow a win–win result.

My favorite example of the lawyer insisting on the last word, occurred with one of Schwabe Williamson & Wyatt’s very good lawyers from our Vancouver Office who was on a sabbatical in Italy with his wife.

This counselor was very active in professional and civic activities and served on the Washington State Bar Board of Governors.

They were walking up to the entrance of an exclusive restaurant in Rome and out comes a group of several people led by a distinguished looking gentleman in an impeccably-tailored suit.

Obviously, I wasn’t a witness, but I was told that the conversation went essentially like this as the lawyer and his wife approached the group and he addressed the guy in the lead:

Lawyer: Hi. I know I’ve seen you before. Are you from the Pacific Northwest?

Stranger: No.

Lawyer: Wow! I know I’ve seen you before… Are you involved with the Vancouver, Washington Chamber of Commerce?

Stranger: No.

Lawyer: This is just puzzling to me because I’m positive I’ve seen you before. Did you have any dealings with the Washington State Bar Association?

Stranger: No……. I’m Tony Bennett

Lawyer: Oh my God. You’re right!! (emphasis added) (#7–#8)

(And “I didn’t leave my heart in Vancouver, Washington!”)

In Closing…

I mentioned in my most recent blog post Summer Simmers – Part 1, that since we will be moving later this year, I’ve been mandated by my wife, Janet, to go through the stacks of files scattered at various places in our house including my office and the garage.

In my diligent efforts to help Oregon’s recycling efforts, I’ve found that I’m most inclined to keep files entitled “Bar Jokes,” “Lawyer Jokes” and “Quotations.”

So, unless I hear vehement objections from Beerchaser followers, I will periodically continue to include an example from each of these categories:

Lawyer Joke

A trial lawyer known for his aggressive personality sat in his car in the immense courthouse parking lot during a lunch recess. He saw an old guy who obviously could not remember where he parked. So every time the guy held the remote in the air, the lawyer honked his horn.

Bar Joke

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The skeleton replies, “I’ll have a beer and a mop.” (#9-#10)

(Next time, why don’t you try a dry martini?)

Quotation

“When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather – not terrified like all the passengers in his car.” (Anonymous)

Cheers!

External Photo Attribution

#1. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons (File:Sun (Sol).gif – Wikimedia Commons) This file is in the public domain in the United States because it was solely created by NASA. Author: NASA – 22 April 2008.

#2. Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Harry_Frankfurt_at_2017_ACLS_Annual_Meeting.jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license. Author:
American Council of Learned Societies (ACLS) – 29 October 2018.

#3. Princeton University (https://philosophy.princeton.edu/people/harry-frankfurt)

#4. Wikimedia Commons (File:BULLSHIT rubber stamp on the desk of a Street Photographer.jpg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Author: Lupus in Saxonia 25 March 2022.

#5. Wikimedia Commons (File:Bullshit.svg – Wikimedia Commons) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license. Author: This W3C-unspecified vector image was created with Inkscape by Anynobody, composing work: Mabdul . Source: Own work using Bsahead.svg: and No sign.svg: 7 November 2011.

#6. Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tony_Bennett_and_Susan_Crow.jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: Jeremiah Garcia 9 February 2008.

#7. Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tony_Bennett_in_2003.jpg) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license. Author: Tom Beetz – 11 July 2003.

#8. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:SF_From_Marin_Highlands3.jpg) This work has been released into the public domain by its author, Paul.h at English Wikipedia. This applies worldwide.)

#9. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Human-Skeleton.jpg) The person who associated a work with this deed has dedicated the work to the public domain by waiving all of their rights to the work worldwide under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights, to the extent allowed by law. You can copy, modify, distribute and perform the work, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission. Author: Skimsta – March 2010.

#10. Public Domain – Wikimedia Commons (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mop.svg) I, the copyright holder of this work, release this work into the public domain. This applies worldwide. Author:
Mop.png: AwOc – 25 March 2010.

Beerchaser of the Month – Art Vandelay

Posted on January 31, 2014 by Thebeerchaser

The Beerchaser-of-the-Month or Quarter is a method this blog has periodically employed to acknowledge certain individuals or groups – simply because they should be recognized. Some, such as the four bartenders from the first four taverns visited (November 2011), are directly related to beer or pubs.

Lt. Jud Blakely, USMC at Than Thrah Viet Nam

Others such as two of my SAE fraternity brothers at Oregon State – Jud Blakely (Purple Heart and Bronze Star recipient for Viet Nam service) September 2013

and

Craig Hanneman (Collegiate All-American football in 1970, NFL career and successful summit of Mt. Everest in 2012) August 2012

: Craig Hanneman (right) on Mt. Everest Climb

and

Dr. Harry Frankfurt (Princeton University Emeritus Professor and author of the book, On Bullshit) January 2012 are named because of their achievements and contributions to society. And some such as the fabled crew of the USS Constitution July 2012 and retired chemist, Harold Schlumberg August 2011 for more light-hearted faire.

: Professor Frankfurt, developed a theoretical framework in his book “On Bullshit.”

In that spirit, the current Beerchaser-of-the-Month is recognized for his profoundly inconsequential contribution to the world of Latex. Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Industries a latex manufacturing company has largely slipped under the radar for many years – not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Art Vandelay, President and CEO of Vandelay Enterprises

He grew up in Keokuk, Iowa, where he was President of his eighth grade class – twice and in high school was voted “Most Likely.”

: Keokuk – Childhood on the Mississippi

Vandelay then moved to Racine, Wisconsin and attended Kramer Community College for four years where he received his associate degree. He didn’t participate in major team sports but was a Bowler.

After a very short first marriage to a classmate, which was voided by the court based on a “technicality,” he moved to New York. Art Vandelay gained new confidence upon realizing that all his annoying habits disappeared when he lived alone.

Vandelay Industries’ Products, in part…

Our Beerchaser then became a latex salesman for Vandelay Industries and rose up the corporate ladder when he validated the following leadership theory propounded by comedian Dave Berry:

“When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.”

—————————

Art Vandelay’s solution for a market slump was originating the slogan for one of their more well known products:

“Wrap it in latex, or she’ll get your paychecks.”

After becoming President, he led his company to a record number of years of marginal profitability – his employees followed him primarily out of a sense of morbid curiosity.

: Leadership that inspires followers….

Idiosyncrasies such as his habit of paging himself on the intercom raised questions. However, his personal lifestyle and political philosophy had a calming effect on the organization. For example:

“Set aside five minutes each day. At the end of the year, you will have saved up 1.27 days.”

Another five minutes accrued…..

“Annoy a liberal – Work – Succeed – Be Happy!!”

: Room Temperature Intellect and Personality…

—————

This led to the oft quoted expression: “Work of Art.”

So raise a mug to an individual, who notwithstanding his room temperature IQ, may not have raised the bar, but at least passed it.

For those who want more detailed information about Vandelay Industries including the real story, use the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Vandelay#Pseudonyms

Beerchaser of the Month for June – Dr. John Walker – Portland State University Professor of Public Finance and Economics

Posted on June 14, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Cheers to a Notable Prof.

Thebeerchaser’s recent visit (and last blog post) to the Cheerful Tortoise on the edge of the Portland State University campus brought back memories from the late 1970’s. While a loyal OSU Beaver alum, I received an outstanding graduate education in the PSU Masters in Public Administration program. When my wonderful adviser, Dr. Walt Ellis, chided me that since it had been seven years, I needed to finish my MPA within the next three terms or they would start taking credits away.

Like most good procrastinators, I had saved the toughest courses until last – to wit:

Public Finance Statistics and Data Analysis (2 terms)

While thebeerchaser’s new spouse – a fellow MPA graduate – pulled me through Data Analysis, I faced Dr. John Walker‘s course on public finance with trepidation given the prof’s reputation for being a tough grader and his challenging tests on complex topics.

Red Line = GPA Trendline After Public Finance Course

Besides, how interesting could three-hour evening lectures be by a guy who published a paper entitled, “Long Run Aggregate Supply Verticality: Fact or Fiction,” in the American Economist. To my surprise, however, I learned a great deal from Dr. Walker – enjoyed his lectures immensely and, in part, based on my study partner’s (former Oregon Department of Human Resources Director, Jean Thorne) discipline, even aced the course.

Stimulating????

John Walker would start each lecture with a monologue, of sorts, railing against government policies, politicians and institutions. With his dry and sarcastic wit, these were humorous and conveyed his point vividly. He also peppered his lectures with these comments.

Enjoying this type of humor, I “collected” these witticisms – listed them in a section of my legal pad and filed them away – until two weeks ago while going through old files. It was refreshing in 1977 to listen to a very intelligent person who disdained political correctness. So while trying to absorb the Law of Variable Proportions or comprehend the intricacies of the marginal rate of transformation in lecture, I would gleefully jot down comments such as:

“Taxing the rich isn’t always a good idea. It’s very easy to think of a group of very nice rich people and really crummy poor people.”

“Government being run like a business means that it should raise taxes while concurrently lowering services.”

Dr. Walker had the flu during the term and one of the students subsequently asked him how he was feeling and his reply was “Relative to what?”

I determined that others should be able to share in some of the gems that he conveyed although for obvious reasons, deciding to eliminate the names of specific politicians in the quotes such as “The combined ability of ______ and ______ is a negative number.” or “Governor ______ wants to be just. The problem arises because his version of what is just is wrong.”

We start with my favorite: “It’s much more economically efficient to bury people vertically rather than horizontally.” (He does have a point…)

The Model is Economically Inefficient….

“I went to testify before the Oregon Legislature as an expert witness, but there was no precedent for expert testimony.”

“Do fish mind swimming through crud if there is enough oxygen? No, but we have no reason to believe that fish know anything.”

Potential Invaders??

“It is my opinion that we could lower the defense budget to zero and the Russians would not attack….However the Mexicans would.”

“Under the Oregon fraternal organization statutes, something has to be given to charity each year to be exempt from property taxes. The law doesn’t say how much — all you have to do is give $1 to any deserving midget once per year. When the Department of Revenue conducts an audit and asks what your charity is, the organization simply replies, ‘Marvin.'”

“I prefer diversity. It’s bad enough that I have to look at you each week, but think how bad it would be if you all looked the same.”

Undesirable Students!

“School boards are elected to make people’s kids smart and beautiful. Three years later, when they’re still dumb and ugly, the board members are not re-elected.”

“The great general cause of poverty is the absence of money.”

Although it has taken thirty-five years, here’s a toast to Dr. John Walker as Thebeerchaser of the Month – just as we toasted his humor after class at Sam’s Hoffbrau in 1977. Similar to a previous recipient, Dr. Harry Frankfurt (Beerchaser of the Month for September) of Princeton University, the author of the brilliant book, On Bullshit, Dr. Walker used his wit and creativity to educate — effectively.

It also seem appropriate to end with a citation (also used in a prior beerchaser post), but one which I think Dr. Walker would approve:

Therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books, hoping that something would pass from one to the other –while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason.

Beerchaser Miscellany

Posted on May 1, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Thebeerchaser’s tour of Portland pubs, taverns and bars and this blog commenced in August 2011. My education on blog software is continuing and I hope to make it easier in the future to find items on the site; however, it may be helpful until that time to recap the venues reviewed in categories during the last ten months.

The next review will be posted this week and recaps our visit to Interurban, which will be followed by a visit to the historical Mock Crest Tavern.

Neighborhood Bars

Brooklyn Park Pub
Gladstone Street Pub
Hawthorne Hideaway
Laurelthirst Public House
Muddy Rudder Public House

“Taking the Plunge…”

Dive Bars (Not a negative connotation – see post entitled “Analyzing Dive Bars – Head First” from September)

Ash Street Saloon
Dixie Tavern
Joe’s Cellar
Yukon Tavern

Brew Pubs

Amnesia Brew Pub
Coalition Brew Pub
Migration Brew Pub

Miscellaneous Bars and Pubs – In a Class of Their Own

The Buffalo Gap Saloon
Proust
The Twilight Room (Could be considered somewhat of a neighborhood pub but also a traditional “hang-out” for watering hole for University of Portland students)

Followers of the blog have asked if I have identified a favorite establishment to this point. While every visit has been positive, probably two tie as favorites for different reasons: The Laurelthirst and The Twilight Room.

Beerchasers of the Month

This label above is a misnomer because only five of the ten months have named an “honoree” as follows:

Princeton University professor and author of On Bullshit, Dr. Harry Frankfurt
Crime novelist, James Crumley
Retired chemical engineer and drinker, Harold Schlumburg
The bartenders of the Brooklyn Park Pub, the Gladstone Street Pub, Prost and the Twilight Room

Efforts will be made to bestow that honor more frequently, however, my favorite to this point is the esteemed Dr. Frankfurt, who responded to thebeerchaser’s e-mail informing him of the distinction and he became a follower of the blog.

BS Expert – Dr. Harry Frankfurt

Beer-related Lawsuits

Having worked in a law firm for twenty-five years and at the Oregon State Bar prior to that time, I collected a lot of law-related articles and memorabilia. In reviewing old files, I came across my favorite law suit – reported in The Oregonian in 1976. It documents a $53,000 suit filed against the Mount Angel Oktoberfest in Marion County.

The plaintiff, Robert Rispler, claimed the portable toilet he entered at the annual Oktoberfest was pushed over by unruly patrons and he was “violently thrown about inside said portable toilet, became intimately mixed (emphasis supplied) with the contents thereof and sustained a fracture of his right wrist and other contusions and abrasions.”

A Lawsuit Dr. Frankfurt Might Appreciate

Unfortunately additional research on the results of this suit are beyond the resources of thebeerchaser although a quick search of the internet found two Robert Risplers – one, a 1974 graduate of Reynolds High School in Portland (he would have been too young to drink legally….) and one who is now Director of Accounting at Fannie Mae in Washington DC. Thebeerchaser avoids political commentary (at times) and will omit any direct or indirect implications related to federal agencies.

Favorite Bar Jokes

Although my archives has more lawyer jokes than bar jokes, this blog needs to return to more relevant topics in this post and will finish with a few bar jokes, which will also grace future posts:

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, that’s really cool. We have a drink named after you. The grasshopper looks at him skeptically and says, “You have a drink named Murray?”

A piece of toast, a glass of orange juice, some hash browns and a side of eggs walk into a bar and they order four beers. The bartender says, “I’m sorry we don’t serve breakfast here.”

A physician, a nurse, a rabbi and a bulldog walk into a bar and the bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

Spring Training in Phoenix

Thebeerchaser and spouse were privileged to take in a few games during Spring Training in Phoenix in March. While the tour of pubs is restricted to Portland, we visited and observed a number, which generated these observations:

It seemed like every bar we passed was jammed with people especially from about 4:30 to 7:00 and not necessarily because of Happy Hours. It may be that given urban sprawl in this badly planned metropolis, that people don’t try to drive during rush hour and just hit a bar each day. Rotating designated drivers keep things legal.

It also seemed that many of the venues had multiple levels to accommodate all the patrons (see pictures below). Perhaps it was also the hot weather. It was ironic that it cost $4 for a bottle of water at the baseball games when one could get a PBR for $1.50 at the pub across the street. It brought to mind, beerchaser of the month, Jame’s Crumley’s request from his main character, C.W. Sughrue, “I want a beer as cold as my ex-wife’s heart.”

Of special interest was the Irish Pub, shown below, that also served as a saddelry.

Did you hear the one about the horse that walked into the bar? **

*Bartender says, “Hey! Why the long face?”

Happy New Year – The January 2012 Beerchaser of the Month – Dr. Harry Frankfurt

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Thebeerchaser

Although somewhat erratic in 2011, the intent of this blog is to recognize a Beerchaser of the Month twelve times each year. The honoree, so to speak, may or may not have a direct relationship to pubs or beer. When more indirect, I will attempt to explain the link, which is necessary for the January recipient. Dr. Harry Frankfurt Ph.D., an author and professor at Princeton University, has shown wisdom and humor in promoting meaningful communication.

: Princeton Professor Emeritus – Dr. Harry Frankfurt

One of the reasons for thebeerchaser tour is to experience the ambiance unique to each bar, pub or tavern. I would suggest that each ale house has its own character based, in part, on the conversations and relationships of its patrons. Thus, by listening and interacting, I have gleaned pearls of wisdom from my visit to Joe’s Cellar that were distinct from Prost, the Yukon Tavern or the Twilight Room and other stops on my tour;

however,

All the discourse was worthwhile and sincere, which is not true of much of today’s dialogue – most notably in politics, government and law. It seems fitting, therefore to start the New Year by acknowledging, Dr. Harry Frankfurt Ph.D., as the January Beerchaser of the Month. He is the author of a brilliant 67-page treatise published in 2005 entitled:

As the esteemed Dr. states: (all quotes below in blue italics)

The realms of advertising and of public relations, and the nowadays closely related realm of politics, are replete with instances of bullshit so unmitigated that they can serve among the most indisputable and classic paradigms of the concept.

: Unmitigated BS

In On Bullshit, Dr. Frankfurt, quotes from learned sources such as the Oxford English Dictionary

An excellent reference source

The Prevalence of Humbug (an essay by Max Black 1985)

The Economist

and “Lying” in Treatises on Various Subject in Fathers of the Church by RJ Deferrari (1952) re. St. Augustine’s position on lying.

: St. Augustine

Dr. Frankfurt’s stated purpose in On Bullshit will help you understand why this little book is so insightful:

In consequence, we have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves. And we lack a conscientiously developed appreciation of what it means to us. In other words, we have no theory.

I propose to begin the development of a theoretical understanding of bullshit mainly by providing some tentative and exploratory analysis…..My aim is simply to give a rough account of what bullshit is and how it differs from what it is not.

Understandably, the professor agonized that, “Even the most basic and preliminary questions about bullshit remain, after all, not only answered, but unasked.” (emphasis supplied)

: Questions on BS??

With the Presidential election cycle upon us and the increasing use of the internet and social media for communication, “On Bullshit” becomes an invaluable resource to gauge communication….and character.

A recent column by The New York Times Op-ed Columnist, David Brooks, entitled, “Behaving Badly in Cyberspace” wisely states:

And if more people spent their evenings at least thinking about what exemplary behavior means they might be less likely to find themselves sending out emotionally stunted tweets at night. ……The reason politicians behave badly these days is that we spend less time thinking about what it means to behave well. This was less of a problem in past centuries when leaders, teachers and clergy held detailed debates over what it meant to have good character.

Does the proliferation of e-mail and social media, such as Twitter and Facebook, increase the amount of bullshit in global society? Dr. Frankfurt wrote his tome before the advent of social media and since then the number of talk shows and reality shows has also increased dramatically.

Is the Amount of BS Time Relative??? Even in 2005, when Dr. Frankfurt wrote his book, he opined that the amount of BS was distressing: Why is there so much bullshit? Of course, it is impossible to be sure that there is relatively more of it nowadays than at other times. There is more communication of all kinds in our time than ever before, but the proportion that is bullshit may not have increased

Perhaps it is nostalgia, but it would seem that some of the great statesman and intellects of the past were more direct and concise – essentially far less inclined to bullshit, than current dignitaries. For example, let’s compare the wonderfully concise assertion of Henry David Thoreau in 1854, to former Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld’s response at a press briefing in February 2002:

A Great Communicator and Pub Companion

“We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas; but Maine and Texas, it may be, have nothing important to communicate.” Thoreau said this even before some of the statements uttered by George W. Bush and Texas Governor, Rick Perry (I wonder if they had a pub in the vicinity of Walden Pond?) It also begs the question whether Thoreau was implying that Maine and Texas residents are bullshitters, which Dr. Frankfurt does not address in his book.

And now, Rumsfeld’s comment on why no weapons of mass destruction had been found in Iraq:

: Obfuscation or Just BS?

There are known knowns, there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – there are things we do not know we don’t know.

Rumsfeld’s quote may typify government communication and reinforces the need for a new law signed by President Obama, effective October 2011 – “The Plain Writing Act” – perhaps more aptly described as the “Anti-Bullshit Act.”

Can You Legislate Against BS?

It was prompted by such examples as the Pentagon 26-page brownie recipe which included a directive that “ingredients shall be examined organoleptically.”

Frankfurt would certainly classify that directive as bullshit. A pre and post – Act comparison is edifying:

Before – “The Dietary Guidelines for Americans” recommends a half-hour or more of moderate physical activity on most days, preferably every day. The activity can include brisk walking, calisthenics, home care, gardening, moderated sports exercise and dancing.”

After – “Do at least 30 minutes of exercise, like brisk walking, most days of the week.”

A Stark Contrast – Does it Drive One to Drink?

To further the premise that communication has declined in quality and the bullshit quotient increased, we can turn to the contrast between Benjamin Franklin and current Republican candidate, Presidential Newt Gingrich. Perhaps dialogue was more meaningful, tempered and civil in Franklin and Thoreau’s time because they strived to make it that way.

Franklin integrated his social and civic life with his business life. In 1727, he formed a club of young workingman called, “The Junto.”

The Founder of The Junto

When they met they discussed issues of the day, debated philosophical topics and devised schemes for self-improvement. In a description of the goals of this group, Walter Isaacson, in his 2003 590-page book, Benjamin Franklin, An American Life” states:

Franklin stressed the importance of deferring, or at least giving the appearance of deferring, to others…… ”When another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied myself the pleasure of contradicting him.”

Instead, he would agree in parts and suggest differences only indirectly…. This velvet-tongued and sweetly passive style of circumspect argument would make him seem sage to some, insinuating and manipulative to others, but inflammatory to almost nobody.

BS Trendline in Election Years

The contrast between Franklin and Gingrich’s demeanor and communication is striking. Gingrich’s term as Speaker of the House, essentially marked the beginning of the end of bi-partisanship and civility in Congress.

“Yo — BS Alert”

I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican party is that we don’t encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, and loyal and faithful and all those Boy Scout words.

..There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate

The above is Newtie’s rationale for multiple marital affairs – BS so profound that it would astonish even Dr. Harry Frankfurt. Perhaps the following excerpt from On Bullshit is particulary apt during election campaigns — especially in this era of concern about global warming:

When we characterize talk as hot air, we mean that what comes out of the speaker’s mouth is only that. It is mere vapor. His speech is empty, without substance or content. His use of language accordingly does not contribute to the purpose it purports to serve.

Uplifting???

No more information is communicated than if the speaker had merely exhaled. There are similarities between hot air and excrement, incidentally, which make hot air seem an especially suitable equivalent for bullshit. Just as hot air is speech that has been emptied of all informative content, so excrement is matter from which everything nutritive has been removed.”

While Franklin’s Junto may not have initially met in a tavern or alehouse, it would seem that this type of setting would have been appropriate. Although it is a generalization, I have found that those who frequent pubs have a propensity to identify and refrain from drinking with bullshitters. There is a certain authenticity and candor to bar-room rhetoric that is refreshing.

This is not to suggest, however, that a good bull session is out of place in the tavern setting. It is critical to understand the distinction.

What tends to go on in a bull session is that the participants try out various thoughts and attitudes in order to see how it feels to hear themselves saying such things and in order to discover how others respond, without it being assumed that they are committed to what they say. It is understood by everyone in a bull session that the statements people make do not necessarily reveal what they believe or how they really feel…..

Shooting the Bull

The purpose of the conversation is not to communicate beliefs. Accordingly, the usual assumptions about the connection between what people say and what they believe are suspended. The statements made in a bull session are different than bullshit in that there is no pretense that this connection is being sustained.

This resemblance between bull sessions and bullshit is suggested also by the term ‘shooting the bull,” which refers to the sort of conversation that characterizes bull sessions and in which the term ‘shooting’ is very likely a cleaned-up rendition of ‘shitting.’ The very term ‘bull session’ is, indeed, quite probably a sanitized version of “bullshit session.’”

So let us embark in 2012 by toasting Dr. Harry Frankfurt and his book – still available at Amazon. Let us resolve to speak with candor and frankness, but with civility. Let us not shy away from debating issues ranging from the Portland Trailblazers, to the Columbia River Crossing to the impact of eliminating the letter ‘M’ from the alphabet, in bull sessions.

But as we lift our mugs in 2012, let us avoid the furtherance of bullshit.

A Toast to Dr. Frankfurt!

A Concluding Rhetorical Question from Dr. Frankfurt

Is the bullshitter by his very nature a mindless slob? Is his product necessarily messy or unrefined? The word ‘shit” does, to be sure, suggest this.

Excrement is not designed or crafted after all; it is merely emitted or dumped. It may have more or less coherent shape, or it may not, but it is in any case, certainly not wrought.

A Tour of Portland Pubs — Bar None!

Happy New Year from Thebeerchaser

Thebeerchaser

Bars, Breweries and Watering Holes – An Exploration

Tag Archives: On Bullshit